is it better for my friends to not know if I have AS?

Post Reply New Topic

My friends have never heard of AS and the so called stare is known to them as the Joseph Stare. Should I tell my friends about AS and how it affects me or not? Any answers would help me on whether or not I should tell them.


Note almost all my friends are NT's and that's a good few friends on NT standards.

If they are OK with weirdness in general and disabilities specifically, there'd be no trouble letting them know. If, for example, some of them are open about having things like ADHD, dyslexia, etc., then you can be pretty sure they will be OK with your having AS.

But it's your choice. Sometimes you have to let people know, just for your own peace of mind.

I think it would be wise to tell your friends. If they are true friends, they will accept your disability.

One thing is that the only thing they may notice as weird is my over-niceness due to the fact at geography one of my friends dropped their calculator by accident and I picked it up banging my head underneath the table in the process

Yes and as I said most of them have never heard of AS and those who heard were saying that I'm the same as them

So I shall tell them my secret

I have this same dilemma with friends, and with employers too. I always feel too embarrassed to tell people, being that it has caused so much grief in my life and makes me do stupid weird things and it just makes it harder to open up about it to people. They might not think anything of it, but I'm always afraid they might if I told them. I know that just because I'm ashamed of my condition it doesn't mean other people will be, but because it is lodged in my mind that I hate the condition so much, it kind of affects how I want other people to perceive me.

I know it will explain my oddities more, and people might become more tolerant of some of my odd ways because, if they are nice enough, they will just think, ''well she has got AS'', and so they won't have to be afraid of why I'm sometimes odd any more. My mum always says that anyway. But it's how I feel too. I don't really like going around telling everyone about it, especially when they know a bit about it or read up on it and only look at the stereotypes and the myths and judge me by them, and because I don't show the stereotypes and myths (like being obsessed with Star Trek, being good at maths, being ''geeky'', wearing glasses, etc), I don't have any of them listed, they might think I'm lying just to cover up my odd ways. It's actually happened before, when I was being bullied, I said, ''I told you before, I have a disability'', and they just said, ''no you don't, you have to look different to be on the Autism spectrum, and you don't look different, you're just weird and stupid!'' and I wish I had of said, ''what do you know about AS?!''

Test the waters, check how they react to some common mental health issues such as stress or anxiety. Most people reveal their attitudes pretty quickly and this will give you a clue as to how accepting they may be or at least how much work you'll have to explain it to them.

Usually I'll neutrally start discussing a mutual colleague or acquaintance with a stress related issue and take it from there.

Jason

i have told my friends and they still treat me as a friend thankfully.

Good for you!

Looks like you have some decent friends there.

I have told my friends that I have anxiety issues, and they seem pretty understanding. But anxiety issues can be quite common in people and so it gets more understood, and usually people know at least one person who gets anxious or has a lot of stress or has suffered depression at some point in their lives. So I don't feel so alone about my anxiety issues and so I open up about it and pretend it is the only issue I have got. I can pass myself off as just being an anxious person too, so thankfully I can get away with telling everyone that. Well, I am a very anxious person anyway, so it's no lie. In fact, I believe that the anxiety issues I have are more disabling than the AS itself.

I'm in this situation now. Part of me wants to only say something if someone asks. A friend is aware that I was being tested and he has AS himself.