Why do we speak formally in normal social situations?

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kill231
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12 May 2012, 12:37 pm

Everyone I talk to my speech involves little or no slang unless I'm on facebook. is this hardwired into all people with AS or is it just me?


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Jayo
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12 May 2012, 1:54 pm

No, this is very common among us folks with Aspergers, including myself...I've been "accused" of it more times than I care to remember :) it wasn't until my late 20s shortly after my diagnosis, when I started using more slang and less formal speech (for a moment, I almost said "when I began acquiring slang into my vernacular...LOL!! :) )

Even today, in my late 30s, it trips me up now and then, but I'm much more agile with slang than I used to be - just took some practice, even though for a while it felt weird.



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12 May 2012, 2:11 pm

I only speak formally on purpose. I'm a casual kinda gal.


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12 May 2012, 2:25 pm

I tend to write in a very formal manner even when writing emails or on facebook (I occasionally use it),

I try to avoid dropping slang into my speech, I suspect that the slang which I know from some human activities which I have been involved in would confuse most people.


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12 May 2012, 2:26 pm

What a great thread. My parents often complain that I use sophisticated language in casual conversations. It gets to the point were they are unaware of the words I speak and request the definition of the words. I often get called 'posh' due to the language I use, although I dont see anything so sophisticated about it.


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kill231
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12 May 2012, 2:48 pm

Shambles wrote:
What a great thread. My parents often complain that I use sophisticated language in casual conversations. It gets to the point were they are unaware of the words I speak and request the definition of the words. I often get called 'posh' due to the language I use, although I dont see anything so sophisticated about it.


Me either.


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12 May 2012, 2:53 pm

I've had some problems with this myself, mostly when younger, though. In retrospect, I think it was part of why the other kids thought of me as stuck up, though I wasn't really stuck up, just painfully shy, and not good in social situations.


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12 May 2012, 2:57 pm

I never speak ''posh''. I am actually quite common, more ''essex'' type. I even speak more common than my friend, who is a cockney.

I tend to say ''ain't'' a lot, and I miss out a lot of T's in words, like for ''auntie'' I say ''aun'ie'', or for water I say ''wa'er''.


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12 May 2012, 3:00 pm

Nope. I'm less formal than I ought to be a lot of the time. However, I'm only informal when I am comfortable, so social anxiety might play into it. Aspies are also known for being sticklers for following rules, which definately plays a role. I'm also overly formal at times as well.


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TrudyG
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12 May 2012, 3:12 pm

Interesting discussion!

I too tended to be fairly formal when speaking; I still am, most of the time, though writing my characters (I write SF, Fantasy, and Fanfiction) has taught me to be a bit more casual. I still very rarely swear (even though I now live in Newfoundland, where "f**k" is almost every second word), and I suspect most people still find my speech to be fairly formal.

As far as I'm aware, it does tend to be quite prevalent among Aspies; in fact, it's one of the traits that is supposed to set us off from "general" High-Functioning Autistics. The formal language, and the unusual (often advanced) early language skills.

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12 May 2012, 3:45 pm

I find that I often talk very formally in my conservations and I once was asked if I had a graduate degree. Sadly I find slang very difficult to master much less speaking slang comfortably, and it was much worse when I was a child in school because I found that it made me stand out. The interesting thing with my speech is I seem to have a very good grasp of English but I have horrible issues with grammar and I find the English language to be daunting when writing



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12 May 2012, 3:48 pm

It's easiest for me. What other people hear as "formal", I see as precise. Because I'm unable to coordinate the implied meanings of words, the physical movement, the rhythm of speech, with the meaning of my message as NTs do, I resort to using just the meanings of the words. The more precise the words, the better I communicate.


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12 May 2012, 4:22 pm

Yes, ever since doctors did check ups on me since I was little they said I had an amazing vocabulary. I talk very formal and hate using slang in real life, it makes me feel stupid and goofy, you know like trying too hard to crack a joke to get people to laugh but people just give you blank stares. Then Mike Rockstar comes up, says the same joke and everyone rolls on the floor laughing. That's how I feel about slang. I live in the south so I always got s**t for it and people would even call me fa***t. "stop talking like a fa***t geeze". :roll:

I do use stuff like "lol" on the internet though.



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12 May 2012, 4:58 pm

I'm kind of random with speaking style - probably more likely to talk informally when it's supposed to be formal, than the other way round, these days.

Formal was probably easier for me once, but I grew to like some of the styles other people used, being often more direct than my method. I don't like to use a big word when a small one will do.......so I try not to use "obtain," I'd use "get" instead.



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12 May 2012, 5:05 pm

I use formal speech and informal speech in the wrong contexts all the time.

The thing is, for me, it depends on what you're trying to communicate, not the context. Describing something complex is easier in formal speech. Describing basic, simple things can be done with informal language. That's just the natural and habitual way I see it, it's very difficult to grasp that you're supposed to use language that's unsuited to what you're trying to express just because the context demands it.



kill231
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12 May 2012, 5:07 pm

edgewaters wrote:
I use formal speech and informal speech in the wrong contexts all the time.

The thing is, for me, it depends on what you're trying to communicate, not the context. Describing something complex is easier in formal speech. Describing basic, simple things can be done with informal language. That's just the natural and habitual way I see it, it's very difficult to grasp that you're supposed to use language that's unsuited to what you're trying to express just because the context demands it.


Exactly


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