What do you hate most about NTs? (No offense intended)

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iheartmegahitt
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15 May 2012, 8:08 pm

So, what is it that really bothers you about NTs aside from them being ignorant about your condition? Like what are the main things that just drive you crazy?

For me, it's when they fail to understand that just because I can pretty much function on a basic level that I still have struggles that can cause anxiety and meltdowns.

The thing with me is I can act and be a normal functioning person yet there are things that could happen that say, I don't expect or something and I end up melting down. Then the person ends up being really ignorant about it and calls me childish or a brat for melting down over something.

Other things include my irriational fears. Like one person on Gaia who was being ignorant over my fear of darkness and my routine of the TV always being on before bed. It really drives me nuts because then she started saying i was using it as a crutch when I was merely trying to explain it to her. >_>

So what is it about NTs that drive you absolutely nuts? Anything?

Also, to the NTs here: No offensive is tended to the ones who are willing to get to know us more or have friends/family with an autistic condition. This most likely doesn't apply to you and just the ones that are more ignorant and unaware of what we go through.


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johnsmcjohn
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15 May 2012, 8:14 pm

The fact that anyone who acts differently than they do is "broken" and in need of treatment. I'm not defective. Stop trying to fix me. >.<



bnky
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15 May 2012, 8:40 pm

As a group I don't hate anything about NTs.
There are a minority of individuals though who seem to feel tough by intimidating or being violent towards people they see as vulnerable or alone :evil:



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15 May 2012, 8:41 pm

Ok. My older sister Erica found the diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome the social skills,special interest etc. Yet at parties and gatherings she thinks I should "talk to people" instead of sitting there playing my DS! I stim by moving my ring around on my finger and "Oh you need to get that looked at it's some obsessive issue" IMO FOR SOMEONE THAT LOOKED UP AND FOUND ASPERGER'S SYNDROME FOR ME (Which I thank her BTW) YOU DON'T KNOW A HELL OF ALOT ABOUT IT BESIDES "OH THIS DIAGNOSIS FITS MY SISTER BRANDY!" Try to look and read BEYOND that!! And just because AS explains my behavior doesn't mean it magically goes away!! !!



zeldapsychology
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15 May 2012, 8:45 pm

ALSO SHEESH! Why is planning such an issue?! !! !! ! I view it as thinking ahead!! ! Something most NT's IMO don't seem to do!! !! !! I "thought" we were going to Ihop this weekend so was planning what I was going to have there and Erica was like "Really you are planning what you are going to eat if we go to Ihop??" IMO yes! I like to have plans! At Disney I want to know what we are doing what ride we are doing 1,2,3,next 4,5,6 etc. Not oh lets go here then here no here ok "Oh well we missed X ride Oh well!" IMO NOT OH WELL!! !! ! PLAN THINGS! Also YOU HAVE to plan to see Mickey etc. since they are only in designated areas!! !! But "NO!" She was like "Oh me/Rusty/Logan already did that last trip" DON'T GO PLANNING EVERYTHING! So I sulked back in a corner and hated the rest of the day! :-(



iheartmegahitt
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15 May 2012, 8:51 pm

zeldapsychology wrote:
ALSO SHEESH! Why is planning such an issue?! !! !! ! I view it as thinking ahead!! ! Something most NT's IMO don't seem to do!! !! !! I "thought" we were going to Ihop this weekend so was planning what I was going to have there and Erica was like "Really you are planning what you are going to eat if we go to Ihop??" IMO yes! I like to have plans! At Disney I want to know what we are doing what ride we are doing 1,2,3,next 4,5,6 etc. Not oh lets go here then here no here ok "Oh well we missed X ride Oh well!" IMO NOT OH WELL!! !! ! PLAN THINGS! Also YOU HAVE to plan to see Mickey etc. since they are only in designated areas!! !! But "NO!" She was like "Oh me/Rusty/Logan already did that last trip" DON'T GO PLANNING EVERYTHING! So I sulked back in a corner and hated the rest of the day! :-(


omfg... you read my mind on this!! I am the same way. my parents are culprits of this. They'll say we are going to go for a ride few days before and after those few days they change the plans and then they get mad at me for overreacting about it. I have a HUGE issue with situations that I can't predict. It drives me insane.

Thing is, my mom also has autistic traits and other problems yet she doesn't relate to me at all. We are always fighting and getting angry at each other and it just increases my stress.


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15 May 2012, 8:59 pm

What I hate most is the lack of understanding/knowledge, etc. about Autism and Aspergers among NTs. I keep the diagnosis, which I've had since early childhood, secret, because of the ignorance. It would be nice to let people know, but I've almost only experienced negative reactions. In the past 5 years I have only had two positive reactions from telling people. One from an ex girlfriend who knew many autistic people (she wasn't even my girlfriend yet at the time), and the other from a professor. I've probably told 10 or so people in that time.

I've had this disability my entire life, known I've had it for my entire memory, faced (and continue to face) many difficulties because of it, yet I feel totally invisible, and like I can't be myself.



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16 May 2012, 12:18 am

Im NT, as far as I know, but what bugs me about NTs that dont take the time to understand is when they hear someone is autistic, or aspergers, they assume your all the same...ie, they expect every aspergers person to be genius at something, they expect all aspergers not to like physical contact they expect the same from all autistic people too.


there are as many differences amongst the autistic and aspergers community as there are in NTs.

my daughter is aspergers, and while she has alot of the typical things, ie obsessive about certain things, finds change very difficult, things have to be just right ect in the way she does them...she has some artistic flair with drawing, but has absolutely no math, or english skills...she would struggle with the work an 8yr old does at school, and even with individual help, constant routin learning for life skills, still cannot learn how to properly load the dishwasher, or all hand washing she does needs to be redone, she cant get the grasp of what can happen if certain areas and things ie bathroom and kitchen are not kept hygienic...Im talking removal of food scraps, not leaving a cloth all wet and full of bits of food in the corner damp and festering blehhhh.

so many people expect her just to be genius at the computer, or maths or something and she is not...and they behave as if she has no worth,....


she is honest. caring , considerate, loving....loves cuddles.. quiet .compliant. never violent or disruptive,..for me. that gives her worth more that many NTs I know.

im NT but im ashamed of how obsessed my fellow NTs are at compartmentalising everyone...unless you fit in a particular box. so they can put a label on you, to define how you should be treated, then they dont want to deal at all...



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16 May 2012, 12:23 am

1. Small talk...

2. they get excited and cheery about the weirdest stuff (make-up, shoes, clothes, gambling, shopping, sports, **ad nausium**)

3. gossip...oh the incessant gossip that I am forced to listen to!

I'm sure I'll think of more later, but those are my top 3.


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HK416N
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16 May 2012, 1:55 am

they operate stuff at different speeds.. opposite of me.. its frustrating.. social talks they go fast rlly fast.. i get lost
then there is maneuvring.. logistics.. driving.. they gooo slooooowwww and i hit my head aginst something.. ffs focus!
its just very diffrent
hated a hospital dr that knew im aspie and talks to me like im stupid.. then repeat same thing 4 times real slow.. uhhh wtf?



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16 May 2012, 2:48 am

zombiegirl2010 wrote:
1. Small talk...

2. they get excited and cheery about the weirdest stuff (make-up, shoes, clothes, gambling, shopping, sports, **ad nausium**)

3. gossip...oh the incessant gossip that I am forced to listen to!

I'm sure I'll think of more later, but those are my top 3.


Yup.


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16 May 2012, 3:42 am

I don't hate anything about them, but things that drive me insane:

1. They are so damn complicated!

2. Their children have better social skills than me.

3. They think nothing of changing their plans at the last minute.

4. If they use a word that may mean something specific or not, you always have to ask what they [i]actually[/i[ meant.


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Blindspot149
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16 May 2012, 3:47 am

Which ones in particular?

There are about 7 billion of them on the planet.....


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16 May 2012, 5:55 am

The way they would rather go round the houses instead of risking being ridiculed. My mum is no exception to this. When she was coming back from holiday, she was at the airport and the bus (what would take her to the bus stop near her house) arrived, and she could have got on that and been home within 20 minutes or less, but she didn't because she was afraid of walking the very short distance from the bus stop to her house with her suitcases, not because they were heavy but because she ''felt embarrassed'' and was worried of ''people seeing her''. So she had to phone a taxi (which would cost much more than the bus), and the taxi was held up so she had to wait around for an hour in the freezing cold. All for the sake of avoiding a situation where a stupid person she doesn't even know might judge her because she has got a suitcase, which they probably won't judge her and so what if they did, lugging suicases will not exactly push her out of the social circle. There are worst things to worry about than that, and I'm sure other people aren't really bothered about what she's doing either.


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Oldout
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16 May 2012, 10:57 am

Some of them think they know more about AS than we do.



iheartmegahitt
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16 May 2012, 11:41 am

dinab71 wrote:
Im NT, as far as I know, but what bugs me about NTs that dont take the time to understand is when they hear someone is autistic, or aspergers, they assume your all the same...ie, they expect every aspergers person to be genius at something, they expect all aspergers not to like physical contact they expect the same from all autistic people too.


there are as many differences amongst the autistic and aspergers community as there are in NTs.

my daughter is aspergers, and while she has alot of the typical things, ie obsessive about certain things, finds change very difficult, things have to be just right ect in the way she does them...she has some artistic flair with drawing, but has absolutely no math, or english skills...she would struggle with the work an 8yr old does at school, and even with individual help, constant routin learning for life skills, still cannot learn how to properly load the dishwasher, or all hand washing she does needs to be redone, she cant get the grasp of what can happen if certain areas and things ie bathroom and kitchen are not kept hygienic...Im talking removal of food scraps, not leaving a cloth all wet and full of bits of food in the corner damp and festering blehhhh.

so many people expect her just to be genius at the computer, or maths or something and she is not...and they behave as if she has no worth,....


she is honest. caring , considerate, loving....loves cuddles.. quiet .compliant. never violent or disruptive,..for me. that gives her worth more that many NTs I know.

im NT but im ashamed of how obsessed my fellow NTs are at compartmentalising everyone...unless you fit in a particular box. so they can put a label on you, to define how you should be treated, then they dont want to deal at all...


Your daughter sounds a lot like me. I leave messes a lot and my mom alwaaaays yells at me when I'm already out of the room doing something else. She is possibly autistic but acts NT because she is undiagnosed and whatever but she doesn't seem to realize that once I'm away from something, it's too late to get me to take care of them mess again because my mind is focused on something else. x_x

I also have trouble with daily living skills. I had to quit life skills after i found out I had enough credits to graduate and the school gave me permission to stay home from the life skills program. D:

But anyway, that's why i said any NTs who have family or friends with AS/other Autism forms don't count in the whole 'what we hate about NTs' XD But yeah, I feel for your daughter.

Thing is, you could ask my friends and they will tell you how smart, funny and good-hearted I am. I really care about others and try my best to help them. That's another thing that gets me about NTs. Some of them think that I have no empathy or sympathy for others. But i do. It's just... I have a much harder time trying to show it because it doesn't register yet it doesn't mean I'm a cold hearted person. I've been told how sweet and caring i am to my friends and who I am able to help them keep going.

One of the things that does get me is basically what you said. NTs getting the wrong idea about people with Autism. It's like, when they here 'Autism' they think of someone banging their heads against a wall screaming bloody murder. D: But that's not true at all. Some people with Autism are intelligent yet just don't know how to use that intelligence because of how their brains are wired.

Other things I hate is how for me, is that NTs think they can take advantage of my writing skills. They don't realize that just because I'm a writer doesn't mean I still struggle with trying to write things they want me to. Like, current events for example. I have a strict interest base and that always made it harder for me plus having reading comprehension and terrible TERRIBLE math and processing skills too that made it harder to do them.

Your daughter does sound like me because I have trouble with reading comprehension despite having a college level in reading itself. I am a good speller and a fast typer with just two fingers. I am absolutely terrible at Math. I tried doing second grade math and it was just... mind boggling and I couldn't do it. I also have trouble with processing which most NTs think that us autistics are able to process for more than what the typical NT person can but that's not always true. I have several learning and developmental delays that most people will skip right over. >_<

NTs don't seem to realize my struggles and will always be the ones triggering my meltdowns/outbursts and wondering ust what the hell they did to deserve it. >_>


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