Aspie and Gender Norms

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18 May 2012, 4:06 pm

When I younger, I always knew there were 2 genders male and female however I had little notion of what it really meant. When I was in middle school, they started teaching us about womens rights and how much women had to fight for equality. So I got the notion that women were equal now and there were little/no gender differences. When I was in 11th grade English class, our teacher told us to write what it means to be a women or a man. And I was very clueless so I ended up writing that there was no gender differences. I didnt really learn and understand much about gender stereotypes and stuff until I was 21.

See gender norms is completely wrapped around social norms. And aspies have a hard time picking up social norms. I notice there seems to be a significantly higher LGBT pop amongst autistics then NTs. And it also seems that many aspies more often get along better with the opposite sex due to varying reasons I would assume.

So I was wondering if there are other aspies out there who had a hard time grasping gender norms since aspies normally have a hard time grasping social norms.

hartzofspace
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18 May 2012, 4:12 pm

For most of my life I didn't understand why people had to take their sex into consideration over every little thing. I also resented when someone tried to use my sex as a way of explaining why I reacted to things the way I did. I could never understand why having boobs and a vagina made such a difference in jobs/hiring/ workplace issues. I still don't get it.

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ValentineWiggin
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18 May 2012, 4:27 pm

Yeah, it's pretty whack, for real.

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catson
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18 May 2012, 4:29 pm

Yeah I also hate when people explain my behaviours by reffering to my gender. It pisses me off actually.

I have a guy friend and if we differ on an opinion he will often make the conclusion that it is because we are diffferent genders. Because two people is enough to make that kind of assumption *rolls eyes*

What experiences you have in life will obviously be affected by your gender, and that in turn will shape your personality and you opinions. But these essentialist assumptions that we just ARE inherently differnt are really stupid.

We are all people. Gender should be treated as secondary.

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18 May 2012, 4:29 pm

Historically, it was obviously not the case, but these days there is true gender equality. However some types of job are chosen more by women than men and that is not discriminatory, it is personal choice. Unfortunately, if you are not strictly male or female and fit into the "other" category you might have problems.

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18 May 2012, 4:35 pm

Ai_Ling wrote:

I would have written a similar essay--did your English teacher like it. I do understand gender norms and differences, but ultimately it is stupid and pointless.

muslimmetalhead
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18 May 2012, 5:15 pm

Ai_Ling wrote:

I think a lot of male Aspies act like women and so we get called "gay" or something like that. So yeah, it is hard grasping gender norms due to Asperger's. But I don't even get along with LGBT's, though I did get along with women till I was 13 14 ish.

That is due to being a guy. But if it is a woman I am not attracted to, we get along well enough.
Better than with guys.
It is usually a maternal woman.

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Ai_Ling
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18 May 2012, 5:18 pm

jackbus01 wrote:

I think people are socialized into those professions. Like if your female, you might be encouraged to go into a more caring oriented profession. You know how many people suggested teaching for me just cause I was female even though I know I would make a horrible teacher. Being in front of a classroom is unnerving for me and I cant take care of kids if my life depended on it.

If your a male, people throughout your entire life are likely to suggest more masculine oriented professions for you. Generally for most NTs, by being told that there entire life, they'll end up in something like that.

Quote:

I would have written a similar essay--did your English teacher like it. I do understand gender norms and differences, but ultimately it is stupid and pointless.

She was a bit surprised and well my essay wasnt well written because I had no idea what I was talking about. My guess is that she found it amusing at most. When I told my mom, she was all like "why didnt you go to me about it?" in emphasis that there were strong differences between gender. I was simply confused and I thought my mom was being too traditional.

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18 May 2012, 5:33 pm

jackbus01 wrote:

but these days there is true gender equality.

jackbus01
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18 May 2012, 7:04 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:

jackbus01 wrote:

but these days there is true gender equality.

No humor intended.

Why is there something that only women can do or only men can do? And, no I am not talking about giving birth.
My point is in a workplace people really don't care whether you are a man/woman, they just want a job done.
This was clearly not the situation decades ago. That is what I meant.

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18 May 2012, 10:43 pm

jackbus01 wrote:

ValentineWiggin wrote:

jackbus01 wrote:

but these days there is true gender equality.

No humor intended.

She's laughing, because there is still discrimination because of what gender someone is in workplaces. For example, my mom was up for a promotion where people needed to vote on it, and she only didn't get it because she was female. Everyone agreed that she solidly deserved it, but some of the people refused to allow a female to raise in the company to their level.

Personally, I don't understand the concept of gender. I literally do not have a worldview that has gender in it as something other than "this thing other people seem to care about that I don't understand". I don't see anyone as male gendered or female gendered (though I do see my boyfriend as having the sex male, and myself female, and such). I don't see a person with a beard and assume they are male - I just see a person with a beard. This is apparently very difficult for people to understand.

Evinceo
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18 May 2012, 11:06 pm

As far as I'm concerned, the main difference between men and women is that on average men are taller.

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