Anyone have attachment issues with their parents?

Page 2 of 3 [ 45 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Blownmind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Feb 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 825
Location: Norway

20 May 2012, 4:47 am

When I were a child, I had thoughts of being adopted, but I also had thoughts of being an alien and everyone else were there to observe me. I did follow my older brother around alot from age 2 to 6, and I also got a good connection to my younger sister from age 6-8 to 16. So I wouldn't say I was attached to my parents, but more to my siblings.

These days, I have little contact with my father(my choice) or brother(his choice), but I have a fair amount of contact with my sister, and a close relationship with my mother.


_________________
AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200


SanityTheorist
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Feb 2012
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,105
Location: The Akuma Afterglow

25 Sep 2012, 8:31 pm

I feel emotionally disconnected and completely abandoned besides my mentor. I have tried repairing the rift, but nothing works.

The mentions of feeling adopted hold very true here, he seems to not care about me at all past buying me things.

I also often feel like my parents wanted someone normal.


_________________
My music at: http://www.youtube.com/user/SanityTheorist5/videos

Currently working on getting in a studio to record my solo album 40+ tracks written.

Chatroom nicks: MetalFluttershy/MetalTwilight/SanityTheorist


Last edited by SanityTheorist on 25 Sep 2012, 9:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Alfonso12345
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 431
Location: Somewhere in the United States

25 Sep 2012, 9:21 pm

I'm not very attached to either of my parents, my dad even less than my mom, because I quite often feel like I disappoint them, my dad mostly, because I can't seem to be the way they want me to be. I also think part of the reason for this was because I was experiencing some psychological trouble about a year ago and I just kept it a secret to myself because I was afraid of scaring my parents and making them think I was a psycho. Mostly what the problem was, was keeping all of my anger and rage inside for many years, over time, and I guess it caused some emotional and psychological damage because I was thinking about doing horribly sadistic things to people and then feeling bad about thinking about those things. Maybe if I had told them about this it might have helped me to be closer to my parents because they might have realized I needed help and I might have gotten it eventually.



friedmacguffins
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,539

25 Sep 2012, 10:34 pm

It's like a word problem, with incomplete information. I'm supposed to infer details from their emotional cues, not do what they say.

I mean to be generous but always seem to take it too far.



MakaylaTheAspie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 14,529
Location: O'er the land of the so-called free and the home of the self-proclaimed brave. (Oregon)

25 Sep 2012, 11:22 pm

Not really with my mother.

My father on the other hand... The only reason I know he still exists is because my sister still goes over there for visitation.


_________________
When in doubt, ask someone with ASD. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know. :roll:


Rorberyllium
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 546
Location: Maryland, United States

25 Sep 2012, 11:26 pm

Yeah. I always felt like my parents had an imaginary friend that they talked to that happened to occupy space behind me somewhere? 'cause they'd be looking and talking in my direction, but they wouldn't be talking to me. I still feel that way.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 25,971
Location: Pacific Northwest

25 Sep 2012, 11:48 pm

I'm attached to my parents. I have had periods when I preferred my dad and then all of a sudden I preferred my mother. It all depends on the situation. I have gone through stages where I hated my mother and saw her as the enemy and only wanted my dad. Then I have gone through stages where I only wanted my mother and not my dad and I have gone through a stage where I hated both of them and wasn't attached to either of them. Then I have felt detached to them after I was married and didn't miss them. Now I am attached to them again.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


AutisticBelle
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2011
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 193

26 Sep 2012, 12:05 am

I'm really close to my mom, but not to my dad. Due to a incident related to my autism, he pretty much damagd our relationship beyond repair. Worst thing he did was call me stupid, repeatedly and in different ways. The second worse thing was he scared me to death.
Oddly, I'm actually the child that gets along best with him. I suppose because I not as emotionally invested as my siblings.



MrStewart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 609

26 Sep 2012, 12:07 am

...huh. Now that I think about it, I did always feel confused when told that people are supposed to love their parents. I didn't. I appreciated and liked my mother. I actively disliked my father. It's still sort of that way now. Somewhat closer to my mom now that we have formed a working adult relationship as opposed to parent/child dynamic. As for father, time passes, he makes the same mistakes over and over and over again, never learns, always expects others to pick up his slack, always tries to make you feel bad when he fails. He is weak. I do not like him. He ruined my childhood. His agoraphobia and panic disorder are no excuse for negligent parenting and fiscal stupidity.



Buttoneater
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 20 Sep 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 242

26 Sep 2012, 12:13 am

My dad is an identical copy of me, so obviously I love him beyond words. As the years go by I find my mom more and more annoying though. She's just so damn gullible, it sickens me. Learn some freaking critical thinking skills. No, me switching to some weird diet that I wouldn't eat if you paid me won't get rid of my seizures, I mean that's just stupid, it's a goddamn chinese peasant's diet you want to put me on, do you really believe that nobody has ever had a seizure in china? And no, your dog is not capable of knowing when I call him an "obese little s*** eater", he can only perceive the tone of my voice, if he could understand it he'd probably consider it a compliment, but in order for him to know I didn't approve of his weight and diet, he would have to be telepathic, and telepathy doesn't exist. No, chelation for autistic children is an unnecessary medical procedure unless they just consumed a beaker full of heavy metals. You know it's not doctors that offer it for autism, right? It's fat ladies who bought locations in strip malls. I mean, she's lived on this planet way longer than me, how come she isn't totally disenchanted with no sense of wonder and an unrelenting sense of skepticism, like me? I think she's just plain stupid. I knew it when she joined a damn church. Hope it burns down along with all her delusions that the universe has meaning.



VMSmith
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Apr 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,735
Location: the old country

26 Sep 2012, 5:00 am

parental units. thats a good term for them. my parents and i are more distant than they know and i have never felt close to them. i do not feel guilty for disliking my dad but i get a little twinge at times because i dislike my mother. its the way they raised me and the things they said and did and the way they made me feel about myself. i cannot be close to them. and they keep making the same mistakes and dont even see them as mistakes or note anything wrong with their behaviour. that and the way they act towards others. i cannot respect them.



CrystalStars
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2012
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,901
Location: Home.

26 Sep 2012, 5:07 am

Probably, although I've convinced myself for quite some time that I don't care for either of them. Truthfully, I'm unsure.


_________________
-- Logan


outofplace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2012
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,771
Location: In A State of Quantum Flux

26 Sep 2012, 5:08 am

I am actually quite close to my parents. There is somewhat of a disconnect on some things, but overall we are quite close. They are the people I am closest to in terms of where I now live (all of my close friends moved away).


_________________
Uncertain of diagnosis, either ADHD or Aspergers.
Aspie quiz: 143/200 AS, 81/200 NT; AQ 43; "eyes" 17/39, EQ/SQ 21/51 BAPQ: Autistic/BAP- You scored 92 aloof, 111 rigid and 103 pragmatic


MjrMajorMajor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,634

26 Sep 2012, 8:59 am

There's not a lot of attachment to either parent for me, but I keep in touch because it's family. The person I have felt emotionally closest to is my maternal grandmother, which is odd. I haven't seen her since I was a teenager because she and my mom have been feuding for years. Sometimes it feels like my family has a thin veneer of normalcy with bubbling chaos hidden underneath.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,376
Location: South-East England

26 Sep 2012, 9:01 am

Hmm, I'm the opposite to that. I feel so attached to my mum that I feel quite afraid without her (not in a babyish way). I tell her everything, in fact I tell her so much that I don't have time to tell her everything, so I end up following her around the house telling her things.


_________________
Female
Aged 31
On antidepressants
Have ASD, ADHD and anxiety disorder
Empathy score: 61 out of a possible 80. (High)


AnotherKind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Dec 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 769
Location: Neverland

26 Sep 2012, 9:05 am

My father once complained i'm too distant but they aren't too close to me either. I think it is better to be detached even if i would be able to be more affectionate.


_________________
Agnostic atheist. Hardcore determinist. Misanthrope. Objectivist. INTP.
AS: 165, NT: 44