struggling to identify my feelings>_<

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Eureka7
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20 May 2012, 12:46 am

I can never say how I'm feeling! like right now I can't explain how I feel! I'm not sad, happy, angry, or scared....it's just...blah.

When people ask how i am..I have to pause and really think about it. I usually just go with "I'm fine" and have a fake smile. but I don't even know half the time what my emotion is:/

is this an aspie thing?



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20 May 2012, 1:54 am

That's usually how I feel. There are up blahs and down blahs. The down ones are depression related, the up ones are just a sort of neutral place. I don't know why I usually feel that way.


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20 May 2012, 2:25 am

I always feel like that. D: Usually I just try to make up an emotion that I think I feel. If I do feel anything it's usually the bouts of anxiety I deal with from my parents.


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20 May 2012, 2:50 am

How about "Confused"? Feel the same way you always feel? Might help if you had someone like me there, so we can watch what is happening? We normally stand on the outskirts of the group & we don't travel round talking to people. We just listen where we stand & observe.

Would neutral be like at one with self, relaxed, calm. Maybe?


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20 May 2012, 4:15 am

This is me as well. I can never tell what I'm feeling or why I'm feeling it. I have to really think about it to get any idea of what emotion I might be feeling and even then I'm just guessing. It can be quite frustrating sometimes, but thankfully I'm not very emotional, most of the time I'm just feeling nothing.



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20 May 2012, 4:22 am

Hmm... Interesting, I'm usually more "Meh" than "Blah". :D


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20 May 2012, 5:04 am

Stop confusing them about the emotions.

Image

Image


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jspope
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20 May 2012, 5:11 am

it's not an aspie thing. everybody feels "blah" pretty much all the time, but when somebody asks you how you're feeling, it's simply a matter of convention that no matter how you're feeling you reply "good" or "fine". "how are you" is just a way for people to establish an initial connection and move on from there to more interesting conversation.



sepia
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20 May 2012, 6:00 am

oh, i am so dumb at this - what is meant by 'blah' and 'meh'? :oops:



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20 May 2012, 6:32 am

jspope wrote:
it's not an aspie thing. everybody feels "blah" pretty much all the time, but when somebody asks you how you're feeling, it's simply a matter of convention that no matter how you're feeling you reply "good" or "fine". "how are you" is just a way for people to establish an initial connection and move on from there to more interesting conversation.


Ignoring the social convention, and the rather natural reticence to reply to such a question when sprung out of the blue, it seems that Alexithymia is very common and very real for many aspies.

Even with time to consider the question I'm always stumped when it comes to describing or even understanding how I feel. Whole days go by without thinking of or being aware of any feeling at all.

I was recently reading a newspaper article (I forget the context and background) about half a dozen young women describing how they felt about their lives and where they were going. I was stunned by the richness of the language that they used to describe their feelings and the depth of self awareness that they showed. I really did not know that people had the capacity to understand themselves to such a level.



MikaNeko
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20 May 2012, 8:52 am

I can relate to that. Often when people ask how am feeling I say I'm okay although usually I dont know how I am feeling.


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20 May 2012, 10:15 am

nemorosa wrote:
Ignoring the social convention, and the rather natural reticence to reply to such a question when sprung out of the blue, it seems that Alexithymia is very common and very real for many aspies.

Alexithymia also imply a lack of imagination, which is not the case of most aspies.

sepia wrote:
oh, i am so dumb at this - what is meant by 'blah' and 'meh'? :oops:

To be neutral, not be aware of feelings really. Which for us is most of the time, except for when there is strong and obvious emotions.


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20 May 2012, 10:35 am

jspope wrote:
it's not an aspie thing. everybody feels "blah" pretty much all the time, but when somebody asks you how you're feeling, it's simply a matter of convention that no matter how you're feeling you reply "good" or "fine". "how are you" is just a way for people to establish an initial connection and move on from there to more interesting conversation.


On the contrary, it is something common to autistic spectrum disorders. It's called "alexithymia." And while everybody feels "blah" at least some of the time, there is a discrete and identifiable difference between NTs who feel that way and autistic people who are unable to describe or identify our own emotions.



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20 May 2012, 5:00 pm

I find it difficult to identify my emotions unless I stop and think about it. When someone asks "how are you?" most of the time they don't want anything more than "fine" and an invite for them to talk about themselves.
I met someone new today, a visitor to the house, and I knew I should show an interest and try to say polite things, because I do want to be more sociable - but I was stressed at being asked questions on how I was and what I was doing and where I'd been today by a stranger.

Most of the time I don't feel much of anything. But I can identify "stressed" "anxious" "sad" feelings. I like how it feels when I am zoned out and totally involved in an activity but it's hard to describe it beyond "peace".



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20 May 2012, 6:47 pm

jspope wrote:
it's not an aspie thing. everybody feels "blah" pretty much all the time, but when somebody asks you how you're feeling, it's simply a matter of convention that no matter how you're feeling you reply "good" or "fine". "how are you" is just a way for people to establish an initial connection and move on from there to more interesting conversation.


True, but with certain people such as family and close friends you should be able to elaborate on your feelings and it is expected that you are honest about your feelings most of the time. I've just finished a round of CBT - my counsellor loved to ask the question "So how are you feeling now?" at regular intervals, I really struggled with that question.

Jason



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20 May 2012, 6:52 pm

sepia wrote:
oh, i am so dumb at this - what is meant by 'blah' and 'meh'? :oops:


An example of the use of the word "meh".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWwzOMFsQ8Y

meaning in this case, "not impressive" or just feeling non-committal.


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