What is your biggest fear for your child with Autism?

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daclark5
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22 May 2012, 7:51 am

I work with students with autism and I would like to hear what a parent's biggest fear is?



MMJMOM
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22 May 2012, 7:56 am

WOW...I have several:

1. that my son will get taken advantage of or worse, becasue he is so pure of mind, he doesnt understand who could trick him or why. If someone smiles at him he thinks they are a nice person.

2. That my son wil never learn to follow rules or directions, and not ba a productive member of society.

3. That my son will turn to drugs as an adult to deal with life.

4. That my son will never see others POV or understand about others thoughts, feelings, wants and needs.

5. That my son will grow up resenting me, as I am his primary caretaker, and I am the one who "makes" him do things he doesnt want to do (like eating, schoolwork, getting dressed, putting time limits on his video games, etc...)

I could go on and on but I guess those are my top 5.


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Wreck-Gar
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22 May 2012, 8:18 am

That he will eventually get diagnosed with "The big R."



MMJMOM
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22 May 2012, 8:26 am

Wreck-Gar wrote:
That he will eventually get diagnosed with "The big R."


whats that?


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Dara, mom to my beautiful kids:
J- 8, diagnosed Aspergers and ADHD possible learning disability due to porcessing speed, born with a cleft lip and palate.
M- 5
M-, who would be 6 1/2, my forever angel baby
E- 1 year old!! !


hoegaandit
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22 May 2012, 8:37 am

My biggest fear is that my son will not be able to make the transition to the normal adult life and that his life will be unsatisfactory in consequence. There is undoubtedly a significant risk that he cannot get a job, or at least an adequate job, that he will not be able to find a partner, and that he will have few friends (he does not really have any friends now).



alongfortheride
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22 May 2012, 8:39 am

I think it will really vary depending on the age of the kids. Obviously the issues are different for a parent of a preschooler vs a student in high school where their potential is while not fixed, more known. My son is in high school.

I have several as well.

1. That he won't be happy in life.

2. That he will never truly understand what a real friendship is. His friendships are all fairly superficial. I want him to be able to build real relationship and and a support system outside of family. He needs to give as well as receive and initiate social events/interaction.

3. Employment. He is very bright but unable to do the chit chat around the water cooler bit most of the time and certainly couldn't chat up a customer etc. That latter part would keep him from many fields of employment. I'm afraid the social communication issues would keep him from being employed/meeting his full potential.



Last edited by alongfortheride on 22 May 2012, 8:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

Wreck-Gar
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22 May 2012, 8:41 am

MMJMOM wrote:
Wreck-Gar wrote:
That he will eventually get diagnosed with "The big R."


whats that?


We are not allowed to use that word.



alongfortheride
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22 May 2012, 8:52 am

I'm guessing, but I think, "Cognitively Impaired" may be what Wreck-gar is after. Am I correct?



Wreck-Gar
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22 May 2012, 9:04 am

alongfortheride wrote:
I'm guessing, but I think, "Cognitively Impaired" may be what Wreck-gar is after. Am I correct?


Yeah...hopefully unfounded since he's already reading at age four but he still cannot sit still in preschool and barely speaks (though he does have a decent vocabulary.)

Before I start worrying about if he'll be able to get a job he needs to be able to get through school...his speech therapist says they are still working on "getting him to sit at the table."



aspiemomdfw
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22 May 2012, 10:56 am

That the school system and his NT peers with grind down, squash and utterly destroy his love of learning and belief that he will one day grow up and help the world be a better place. He is slowly realizing just how cruel his peers and so many adults are to him just because he is different. It is a horrible process to watch even though I know that he will be just fine as an adult and, as his therapist keeps telling me, that this process and social practice will prepare him for life and develop his social skills.

If you really want to ask the question then here's the answer - My greatest fear for him is Depression and the place it takes so many children who feel like there is no where that they truly belong.



League_Girl
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22 May 2012, 11:53 am

MMJMOM wrote:
Wreck-Gar wrote:
That he will eventually get diagnosed with "The big R."


whats that?



Retarded.

I don't know who told him we can't use it here. Just as long as it's used in the right way and not as an insult I see nothing wrong with it.



annotated_alice
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22 May 2012, 12:20 pm

aspiemomdfw wrote:
That the school system and his NT peers with grind down, squash and utterly destroy his love of learning and belief that he will one day grow up and help the world be a better place. He is slowly realizing just how cruel his peers and so many adults are to him just because he is different. It is a horrible process to watch even though I know that he will be just fine as an adult and, as his therapist keeps telling me, that this process and social practice will prepare him for life and develop his social skills.

If you really want to ask the question then here's the answer - My greatest fear for him is Depression and the place it takes so many children who feel like there is no where that they truly belong.


Yup, this. ^^

I also worry that one of my sons will isolate himself. He doesn't need people, until he NEEDS them...y'know? I can see him getting into a viscous cycle of isolation and loneliness.

And that they won't find their niches. I feel like if they can find that one career/job that fits their particular skill sets we will be golden. I worry about what happens if we can't help them find that.



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22 May 2012, 12:24 pm

1. Drugs & Alcohol
2. Jail for something he did not understand, taken advantage of , anger...
3. Employment



BuyerBeware
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22 May 2012, 12:41 pm

That he'll be diagnosed early, medicated heavily, and have his limitations read to him so often and so authoratatively that it will never occur to him to try actually living life.

Or, lacking that, that he'll remain so innocently irritating that he won't have a chance to develop some realistic concept of self before he learns that he's a loser, unwanted and unwantable.

I'm lucky to have fears like that. Doesn't make them any less real.

I get so MAD sometimes!! !! !


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22 May 2012, 2:02 pm

Wreck-Gar wrote:
That he will eventually get diagnosed with "The big R."


I don't think you need to worry about that one now. Mine won't sit at the table either and his reading is taking off too. He's a lot of things but that isn't one of them.