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summer
Sea Gull
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Location: Poughkeepsie, New York, USA

20 Nov 2006, 6:35 pm

paolo wrote:

The story of many of us, from what I see here, is a double combination of sick family and the inner problems of being born with autism.


This was true for me growing up. I had a father who beat my mom until I was 4 and they got divorced. In the meantime, during the beatings my mother got, she locked my sister and me away from him in the attic.

She has a lot of AS traits herself. I think she tried her best with what she had. At least I can say this about her now, as we've talked about things that she's done. Maybe she was having a lot of meltdowns taking care of 3 kids, and she had PTSD from my father. She beat on us often when she was upset about something...the beatings that we grew up with were more related to the state of mind she was in rather than in response to us misbehaving. It all depended on what was going on in her life and how stressed out she was. Oh!! And the beatings and screaming at us would last for hours.

Thank God I can finally talk to her somewhat now about what hurt me. Conversations with her are not always easy, but at least every once in a while we can have a laugh with one another. I'm grateful for that : )



summer
Sea Gull
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Location: Poughkeepsie, New York, USA

20 Nov 2006, 6:50 pm

paolo wrote:
In most cases I see here, both parent and child are more or less fuctioning autistics and when you put together autistics in a realationship of power so strong like that of father and child, or mother and child you are headed for utter unhappiness.



I can see how this can totally happen. I want to start a family of my own, and this is one of my fears. What if things happen that are out of my control? What if I have horrible meltdowns or cannot provide for my children? When things are good and I am safe, I think I would make a wonderful mom. I am so patient and attentive. I just couldn't imagine the alternative side (not being safe from harm, or in control of my own life, or ok financially.)

I hope to meet and make friends in my area with AS so I could start the support network that I need with people that can understand me somehow.



azumi
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03 Nov 2011, 10:53 pm

my dad is autistic too and would freak out about stupid things. we didn't know for ages but now we do. it has put a strain on our family and now my mum is considering divorce if everyone else is happy with that as she is depressed from his angry spurts. I'm not gonna lie he has put a lot of strain on me too, having no self awareness and never bring like well...someone I could look up to I suppose, he has always been very negative and would complain constantly and it was never good for any of us growing up, to have around. My mum will probably not live with my dad anymore but I think the damage has been done now.



abc123
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04 Nov 2011, 2:03 am

I think my Dad, Uncle and Aunt are, and some of my cousins have some traits in that area although could just be like ADHD or related conditions rather than actually AS.
My Dad is in his 60s but seems happy doing his own thing. He has struggled with career progression and has no friends and just spends time alone or with my Aunt outside work (my parents are divorced). He sees sport on his own and enjoys it. He once talked to me for 20 minutes about his shaving products and I had no interest whatsoever and didn't encourage him at all! He's made comments about not bathing often but washing everyday and I have caught him smelling a bit once or twice!
My Aunt doesn't work and is a little "strange" and doesn't really talk or leave the house.
My Uncle I thought was NT until recently. I caught him sitting on his own for an hour humming to himself without music being on and not socialising. He visited my wedding venue which was socially uncomfortable both in the way he told the story and the way he did it without checking it was OK with anyone. His children are my cousins. One has had ADHD diagnosed as a child, another I heard has had mutism and another an eating disorder which I have read can be a manifestation of obsessive autistic behaviour in girls. I've heard a rumour his wife thinks autism is in the family.
It's all anecdotal evidence though. I dying to speak to my female cousin as we have reconnected recently. We did have a "Dad" conversation about embarrassing things our Dads do. My Dad's father of the bride speech worried me. At one point he started focussing on the riding boots of a horseriding instructor which was a little off topic! Other people didn't share my horror which was good. :lol:



Kiseki
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04 Nov 2011, 2:56 am

Me and my dad are a lot alike. I finally got him to take the AQ test and he scored 31. My score was a 34. I believe I have mild Asperger's and he just has many ASD traits. I am really curious- if I were to have a child- if he/she would be autistic. But I don't plan on having any kids.

There is also a great uncle in my family (on my dad's side) who was definitely quirky and Aspie-ish. He used to record how many wash cycles his washer made. He kept the piece of paper taped to the washer. He also had loads of very old books and magazines everywhere, had a very meticulously-kept video collection wherein he would cut the show/movie's synopsis out of TV Guide and glue it to the tape, he lived alone and never had any sort of relationship, and his main companions were stray cats which he let in his apt. from time to time.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 55 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie