Where Should I Begin?

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I'm not sure if I have Asperger's. Much of what I've read here seems to be the story of my life with all of the social problems. I don't know if I have any other attributes, but I can relate to much of what the people say here about being out of step with most people and not knowing why. Also, there's a lot of stuff I think I do theoretically understand about how NTs socialize, but don't agree with, or seems too alien to my nature to ever mimic naturally (or even want to).

That said, where do I begin? I'm 29. Should I talk to my regular doctor? Is there someone else I should find? Do I have to see a shrink/therapist, and do I need to go through my regular doctor to do that?

Should I even bother explaining all of this to my regular doctor, as he himself might not be much help. Should I try to take some medication? I'm not big on pharma, but I'm willing to at least try if it might make a difference for the better.

How did you guys go about getting a diagnosis in adulthood?

I was diagnosed when I was young - so I have no idea what the process is now. I think what you might want to do is either see an autism specialist, or get a referral to one, or something like that. I have no idea how you'd get that though - so sorry if I'm not a ton of help.

Ah yes, you're the musical prodigy? It's funny how, in a stereotypical sense, autistics are usually portrayed at having an amazing gift, despite obvious defects. It's possible this was a factor in getting you a diagnosis when you were younger, though I don't know your back story. For me, I'm trying to put pieces together later in life, and don't know where to begin

Hi there,

If you want to get diagnosed (or simply see someone who can tell you if you have it or not), then perhaps you could go to your GP to get a referral?

I was quite young when I got diagnosed, so I can't be much help in regards to the "adult process", but I have never taken medication for my Aspergers. Cognitive behavioural therapy is much more productive and you can learn so much about yourself.
I think getting a diagnosis can be quite lengthy (sometimes taking 18 months) as well as expensive. But I live in a completely different country to you, so have no idea of what it's like where you live.
Definitely go see your doctor, though.

What is CBT like exactly? Just some key points, what do you do?

I don't think it was a factor - I didn't own any instruments when I was diagnosed, and the rest of my family is very very musically challenged (except for one grandfather who died in 1975 and played with Tal Farlow), so they couldn't (and didn't) notice things like me having absolute pitch. We also had no musical instruments in the house, and although I didn't sing at the time, me humming and whistling along with things (matching their pitch precisely) seemed to only anger and annoy my parents. I also noticed and always commented that their singing was out of tune, and they'd get mad when I told them their singing was bad (part of why I didn't start singing for a long, long time). I was diagnosed with HFA around the time I went into first grade.

The main reason I got a diagnosis so young was my behavior, and how my speech wasn't getting better, all that stuff. This was not long after the DSM IV came out, actually.

The musical stuff didn't really get noticed until I started learning the recorder in school - around age 8 or 9 I think. Then at 10 I got my first "real instrument", a Squier Precision Bass (which is now not so precise - I removed the frets a few years ago - and having the frets is why they named it a "precision" bass, hahaha.), and I started getting really obsessed with music. I'm very glad I got obsessed with music and dropped my pokemon obsession....

It's definitely a stereotype, though, for autistic people to have some sort or sorts of amazing talents. I don't like the stereotype because people think I'm only good at music because I have autism - I'd rather be known for just being good at music, instead of being that guy whose autism makes him good at music. People then also think that I should be happy I have autism, or something like that, because I have great skill with music and they blame it on autism, so they think "oh your autism is such a gift!" when I certainly do not perceive it that way. I think of myself as a good musician who happens to have autism.

Think of it this way - there are plenty of people who have great talent, who -are not- autistic - what if I had the same talents I have now without being autistic and having all the problems I have in life because of it?

I can sympathise with your frustration to a degree, I think, and I feel stupid making excuses for people who I've never even met, but I'm now quite comfortable with feeling stupid so here goes...

I don't know what global poll results would show for the question "Do you love music? Y / N " but I imagine that Y would outweigh N.

Your enviable talent ( does enviable make it a gift? ) is such that you can get through life spending basically all your time doing something that most people love but will never really get to do.

and autism makes social interaction harder, well many find it hard anyway so I suspect there exist people who at least feel like they would willingly sign a pact with the devil to get a lifetime married to music, even if it came with autism.

Sure, people really aught to speak to you and ask you how you feel about it all rather than telling you how they feel, or worse, how you should feel but I don't expect that to change before the second coming, there's no money in it. I think it's symptomatic of too much education and too little church (or synagogue or mosque or temple or whatever). Too much expectation to know the answer or to give it a guess because "otherwise you might fail, either way you will be graded" and too little expectation to spend time in silent contemplation or prayer, focusing on a broader needs of society generally or other individuals perspectives specifically.

Anyway, this reply was started with the intention of making you feel a little better by sharing a perspective that might encourage a little sympathy for those who are upsetting you.

Whatever I've actually done, I intended to help.

B.

I have just recently been "diagnosed" as an adult. I am from another country, so I do not have any advice on how you start the process in your country. But - take some of the online tests and bring the results with you. Look at the lists of "symptoms" and make some remarks, as to how you relate to them. Think back to your childhood (talk with parents or family if you can) how were your behaviour then? You have learned to cope with these things, so your reactions now will be different from the younger you.

Read posts on WP, some of the stuff you can find online is not good enough. Especially some of the things you can find about emphaty (read some posts on WP - much better).

In other words prepare. I was lucky, and found someone straight away who had experience with adult asperger women, and she was not in any doubt as to my diagnosis.

Helle

Reading that I suppose I can understand the thoughts of those people. I still dislike it though, when people say those things. I feel like it undermines my integrity as a musician. I also feel like it makes people forget I have a lot of negative autistic traits/symptoms.

My poor Theory of Mind skills make things worse - it's hard for me to put myself in the place of other people - and so I don't often realize things like what you wrote in your above post, until someone comes along and tells me.

I see you are in the US like me. I think whether you go to your PCP first depends a lot on your insurance if you have it. I am going in for my Asperger's evaluation today and I never spoke with my PCP about it. My insurance allows self-referal for "mental health", so I just picked a psychiatrist nearby that accepted my insurance. Luckily there is a psychiatrist here who works at an autism clinic, so I chose him. It really is considered a neurological condition, but usually it is psychiatrists/psychologists who do the evaluations as opposed to neurologists.

I would try to find a psychiatrist or psychologist nearby who specializes in autism and see of he or she does evaluations for adults. I found that some psychiatrists I contacted only did evaluations for children, while others did them for all ages. I would only bother discussing it with your PCP if you need to for a referral. Otherwise I would just go straight for a psychiatrist or psychologist.

This sounds like a good idea, I do have to check because sometimes I think psychiatrists require referrals from the main doctor, but I'm not sure.

Do they also try to take into account other factors which may be responsible for the way I turned out? I ask, because from what I've read here, three different psychiatrists can give three different opinions: One might say, "it's definitely Asperger's," another might say, "it's definitely NOT Asperger's," and a third might not even know what Asperger's is.

I don't want to be misdiagnosed as having it if I don't, or NOT having it if I do.

A good psychiatrist will consider other possible disorders and reasons for your behavior. I would definitely see if there is an autism clinic in your area and start with a psychiatrist there, or find a psychiatrist who specializes in autism spectrum evaluations. I'm not sure what insurance you have, but my insurance (Blue Cross/Blue Shield) has a website where you can search for doctors by specialties, including autism. You might see if your insurance has a similar website. That was how I found the doctor I went to. If you find a doctor who is well-versed in autism, you are going to be much less likely to receive a false diagnosis. The nice thing about going in for an evaluation is that even if they find that you don't have Asperger's they will likely be able to tell you what you do have. Because regardless of the diagnosis, the goal is usually to fix any problems you are having, and they will have ideas to help you.