Are you able to withstand loneliness?

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Mootoo
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22 Jun 2012, 5:52 am

I've been alone for a few years and I think I've lost my mind (if the mind is everything and I can never find anything).



Dirtdigger
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22 Jun 2012, 6:18 am

Though I need a little socializing, I'm never lonely and I have lived by my self since 1969. So maybe being an objectophilia as one of my Autism traits have turned out to be a silver lining for me since I have so much trouble with socialization. As strange as it may sound I'm perfectly happy with my special objects because I treat them as my partners. Some time I lay with them with no music or the TV on just enjoying the quietness with them.

As I mentioned in another post, many of us with Autism and Aspergers have this trait among our other traits. Part of these folks, like myself, are perfectly happy with our special objects. :) :)



Atomsk
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22 Jun 2012, 6:24 am

I've had very long periods of loneliness in the past - even now. There is nobody outside my family who I talk to every single day. If it weren't for me being in several bands and teaching music lessons, I could say that there's nobody who I talk to every single week (my students come once a week). Sometimes I don't like the loneliness, and sometimes I don't care at all about it. It just depends on the day or the week. If I'm very heavily into special interest stuff it probably won't cross my mind at all. But if there is a lull in it, then there's an increased chance I will feel bad about loneliness.

If people are part of some routine I will feel lonely when they aren't there.



Verdandi
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22 Jun 2012, 6:24 am

I don't feel loneliness to my knowledge. When I am cut off from interacting with other people (voluntarily or involuntarily) I just find something else to do, like reading books or playing video games or watching TV shows. I am most comfortable by myself.

I don't hate people or hate being around people by default (various situations may differ in this regard), however.



Pinchy
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22 Jun 2012, 6:33 am

I feel loneliness on a whole new level nowadays. I used to think that I was lonely but without a partner now, I feel like I am super lonely. The loneliness bugs me almost constantly. It doesn't help that I can't indulge in my special interests at the moment. If I spend time doing things I like, I don't really care if no one is there. There are so many things that I wish to start doing again but my 'job' is sooooo stressful. The people around me stress me out daily. So, I do feel super lonely without someone to 'talk' to.



lostgirl1986
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22 Jun 2012, 7:45 am

I can to a certain extent. I don't mind being alone for long periods of times but I do like having a few friends in my life.



i_wanna_blue
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22 Jun 2012, 7:46 am

I've learnt to deal with it for the most part, yes. Not to say that I don't have my days without wishing I had a significant other, or a few friends etc, but generally I know I have a choice between one of two situations. Be alone and suffer with boredom and monotony, or be with others and feel the feelings of supposed ridicule and rejection. The former, for me, is much easier to deal with I suppose.


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Misslizard
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22 Jun 2012, 7:59 am

The lonelinnest I ever felt was in a crowd.the only time I crave companionship is when I see something cool and wish someone else could see it also.Such as a kick-ass meteor shower or a really cool bug.Right now I am very lonely since my companion animal died.There are huge gaps in my day now and I don't know how to fill them without my little friend.
when I get over the loss of him I intend to look for a rescue animal to adopt. many people find a cure for loneliness this way.Of course you have to live somewhere that allows pets.



Mindsigh
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22 Jun 2012, 8:30 am

Misslizard wrote:
the only time I crave companionship is when I see something cool and wish someone else could see it also.Such as a kick-ass meteor shower or a really cool bug.


That's about the only time I really want real company. I have imaginary company most of the time, and that suits me perfectly.



persian85033
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22 Jun 2012, 8:57 am

Even though I'm alone most of the time, I never feel lonely. Why should I feel lonely? If I need company, I have my pets, my books, and my interests to keep me company. There's a difference between being alone and being lonely.


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Mootoo
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22 Jun 2012, 9:38 am

For those who say they don't feel lonely because they can do different activities: I understand, but there is a difference between boredom and loneliness too. I can easily stave off boredom, and while a person certainly can not feel lonely while alone, that's not necessarily due to doing activities, right?



DonkeyBuster
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22 Jun 2012, 9:48 am

Mootoo wrote:
For those who say they don't feel lonely because they can do different activities: I understand, but there is a difference between boredom and loneliness too. I can easily stave off boredom, and while a person certainly can not feel lonely while alone, that's not necessarily due to doing activities, right?


Are you saying activities induce loneliness? No, I don't think anyone is saying that. What I find is that when I am able to get involved in my special interests I am not lonely, being fully absorbed. It's when I'm tired & stressed that the feelings of loneliness come up. It used to really drive me into a very painful place, but now I just notice it, & get logical w/it... do I want to go out? No. Is there anyone I know I actually want to be with that very instant? Usually no. Am I willing to do the social dance to go out & engage w/people. No. What has experience shown me? That I go & feel like s**t in the midst of many people which makes things even worse. So better to stay home in my space, & do my thing w/out other's judgements. And recognize that I'm tired, stressed & need to address that issue rather than the culturally programmed loneliness.

All those happy images of happy families, relationships, etc in movies, comedies, etc is just BS, magnificent BS. It gets in our brains & creates unreasonable expectations. It's fantasy, complete & utter fantasy. I remember throwing a pillow at Cher playing the loving mother on TV when it really hit me how pop culture was programming us.



redrobin62
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22 Jun 2012, 10:12 am

DonkeyBuster: All those happy images of happy families, relationships, etc in movies, comedies, etc is just BS, magnificent BS.

Me: DonkeyBuster needs a hug.



DonkeyBuster
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22 Jun 2012, 11:30 am

redrobin62 wrote:
DonkeyBuster: All those happy images of happy families, relationships, etc in movies, comedies, etc is just BS, magnificent BS.

Me: DonkeyBuster needs a hug.


LOL...I think I'll wait 'til you're sober. :lol:



Boxman108
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22 Jun 2012, 11:44 am

Been alone for a long time it seems like. Not that I like it, but that's the way it is. It's stupid that this had to come from something as silly as video games, but at Nintendo's last E3 conference, Iwata mentioned a book titled "Alone together", if I'm remembering right. Not exactly related as it has more to do with technology being used as boundaries between people, but I feel the term could describe my feelings quite well. I have just enough friends and family and all are pretty much supportive. I have no reason to be angry or resentful towards any of them. For whatever reason I can't even seem to understand myself, I'm just unable to feel close to any of them.

I do tend to attach myself to certain people over long periods of time, and of course it never works out well. I wish I would just stop obsessing over people I wish would love me back, but whenever I think about quitting, fear of no longer feeling connected to someone particularly special and having to start all over again with someone new kicks in. I have no idea what to do about it other than to tell myself to be realistic, which turns into being miserable.


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23 Jun 2012, 12:20 am

Even though I enjoy being alone most of the time, sometimes I feel lonely. I can deal with it usually, but every once in a while it makes me feel sad.