Purposely driven into meltdowns?
Do you have people claiming to want to help you, yet they keep popping up in front of you when all you want is to be left alone? Do they instill such a fear in you that they'll never go away and when you try to hide from them they linger outside? Does it stress you out so bad that you finally lose it and then they can then go tell their buddy 'see? I told you he's not quite right'? Have you suggested to them that they GET A LIFE and how did that work for you?
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Let's go on out and take a moped ride, and all your friends will thing your brain is fried, but you can't live your life too dirty, 'cause in the the end you're born to go 30
No - but I've developed workarounds to prevent such things.
For example I'm wearing ear phones right now while I work; I wear them even if they're not playing anything.
I learned a long time ago that if I let others control my outward mood then they'd do so at my detriment.
Don't give other people such power over you if you can help it; the way I look at it - they don't matter enough for me to give that much power over me.
I doubt that helps you much though
Such people don't matter. Smile, laugh at them, ignore them... don't get angry.
When I lose it I lose... so I have to make sure I don't lose it.
I didn't know I had Aspergers when I started developing the workarounds for it.
What I do to keep people from pushing me into a meltdown is always have a focus going;
I don't even think about it anymore... I'm just always thinking about something related to my focus when I'm not focused on something else. SO... when some A-hole interrupts me and tries to push my buttons guess how much attention they're getting (almost zero). It works most of the time.
In meetings I'm doodling the whole time; I haven't had a meltdown in a long time.
Last time that happened to me was a year ago when my father came over and started scaring my cat for fun. I kept telling him to stop and I was getting visibly upset but he kept doing it and laughing at my reaction. It just got to the point where I just felt like I would explode from the built up frustration and I snapped. In the end he got the point and I got a new solid wood door to replace the one I broke with my fist. My hand wasn't feeling too good for a while.
What a jack-arse...
Still you can take the cat, put it in a room away from a-hole, and tell him to leave without ever getting the slightest bit angry. Holding anger in doesn't work; never getting angry does.
Someone doing this cost me my Life's ambition. It still hurts a little..
I have had one or two managers who pushed my buttons because I usually appear pretty calm but aloof. So they think something like this: "This guy thinks he is Mr. Spock from Star Trek. (Let's see if he has emotions.).
One manager apologized afterward, but said she just wanted to know if I could get mad. Yes, I can.
Sincerely,
Matthew
I have had one or two managers who pushed my buttons because I usually appear pretty calm but aloof. So they think something like this: "This guy thinks he is Mr. Spock from Star Trek. (Let's see if he has emotions.).
One manager apologized afterward, but said she just wanted to know if I could get mad. Yes, I can.
Sincerely,
Matthew
Get another job somewhere else away from a-hole manager guy.
It sounds like you don't have an official diagnosis?
I just had to use my accommodation on file to make a manager stop being a jerk.
It is the first time I've had to.
What a jack-arse...
Still you can take the cat, put it in a room away from a-hole, and tell him to leave without ever getting the slightest bit angry. Holding anger in doesn't work; never getting angry does.
I don't think you understand how quickly it happened, it was just a matter of minutes. The cat was feral when I found her and won't get near anyone but me and she was really freaked out. There was no way to move her because she was under a chair and there's no f'in way I'm going to pick up a freaked out cat. I usually try to remove myself from a situation that's causing me stress but sometimes it's just not possible.
They did that to me too.. until I took Karate/Judy and could calmly fight.
Sometimes all you can do is remove yourself before it happens like you would a boiling pot from a flame before it boils over.
Some people are toxic people and should be avoided when possible. If someone comes over that you can't deal with, then just don't let them into your home. If they continue hanging around outside tell them just once from a window--NOT from the door--to leave or you will call the police. This gives them polite and official notice that they have no biz being there and should leave. If they are still there after five minutes, or keep knocking on the door, call the police. This also applies to toxic relatives. For the person who's father was tormenting the cat, or for any other bad relatives, do not let them into your home. If you are living with them, try to move out. You are never under any obligation or law to hang out with toxic relatives or any other toxic people, unless forced by financial or health reasons to live with them.
My own father is not the nasty torment the cat kind of bully, but he is the sort of "he knows best" and "if I would only do what he says" kind of bully. On the good side, I don't live with him, on the bad side, I rent my trailer home from him. I can't afford to pay what it would cost to rent from someone else. He gives me a price break on rent. Fortunately, he is usually busy with things of his own to do, and lives in another town, so I usually only see him about once a week during the warm months. My father and step-mom spend the cold months down south, so I get a break from the constant attempts to make me turn into a normal person, and a social butterfly. I am not anti social, just non social. I am an introverted hermit type, and have no interest in being social and I'm not any good at it anyway. My father is an extrovert who thinks introverts are either miserable unhappy people who want to be social, or are mentally ill nut jobs, so naturally he keeps trying to "fix" me. I am in my early 50s. You'd think he would have figured out by now that if I haven't been "fixed" by now, it ain't gonna happen.
Anyway, the best way to deal with toxic people is to minimize contact with them, and this includes relatives. Unfortunately, even some well meaning relatives end up trying to bully us into being normal, which is not possible for us. This adds to our stress levels, and can cause more melt downs and shut downs.
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If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away.--Henry David Thoreau
LeeTimmer
Blue Jay
Joined: 10 Jul 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 95
Location: Usually unknown, Earth occasionally
One of my favorite quotes:
"If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who deal likewise with their fellow men."
-St. Francis of Assisi
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Aspie score: 156/200
AQ: 37
BAP: 123 aloof, 124 rigid, 73 pragmatic