Would an AS diagnosis make me feel better or worse?

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Hello everyone. I'm new here, although I have been lurking. I hope someone can offer me some advice.

I am 26, female, and have always had huge problems making friends, although I have a wonderful boyfriend. I have been feeling very down in the last few years, as I always thought I would grow out of my weirdness but it's clear it just ain't gonna happen!

AS runs in my family. I have wondered in the past whether I might have it in a mild form. I've finally decided to find out more. I've done a lot of reading and almost everything seems to match. I hated being touched as a baby and people tell me I flinch when hugged. Loud/busy places frighten me and I have been known to burst into tears and run away (embarrassing!). I can't hear a thing when there's background noise but I don't seem to have any actual hearing problems. A lot of music really bugs me and I can't eat while it's playing. I like everything to be very plain - my clothes, the space I live in. I wear the same clothes all the time, because I don't feel comfortable in anything else. I've made 'literal' goofs in the past. I sometimes struggle to understand speech and prefer to read everything. Oh, and I have nearly vomited around strobe lights (or is that normal?!)

There's plenty more indicators but obviously, the worst is being unable to make friends. I have a huge circle of acquaintances (my boyfriend is popular) but I just don't 'get' other people. I don't know how they interact, how it all works, how I can fit in and be like them. I feel like a well-meaning alien who loves to observe but has no idea what to do! I never know what to say, whether I am pleasing or boring people. As you can imagine, I don't get many social invitations.

It makes me very unhappy. I hide, feel scared and beat myself up constantly. I know I can't get a personality treatment so I think the next best thing is to try and accept myself, enjoy the things I love about my life and focus on my better points. Hopefully one day meet a nice female friend like me.

On the one hand, I think a diagnosis would help. It would be solid proof that I'm not this way because I'm unpleasant/stupid/lazy/fussy. And then I could accept myself and feel happier.

On the other way, they might just tell me I'm weird and don't have AS, it might become a self-fulfilling prophecy and I might feel more like a weirdo. And you know, everyone's a little weird in their own way so maybe I should just accept it.

I would really appreciate it if anyone could advise me or share their own experiences. Thank you.

1. If you go get a diagnosis and it is confirmed as AS you think you will feel more comfortable with yourself.

2. If you go get a diagnosis and they tell you that you don't have it, you will be in the same position as you are now.

What is there to lose by going to to get assessed?

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Whether you are 'on the spectrum' or are, say, a 'bridge person,' close but not on the spectrum, I bet you have both things to learn and things to contribute here at WP. And your sensory issues, that does seem spot on for the Asperger's-Autism Spectrum.

Socially, I have had some success being a low-key leader in different venues, for example, trying to organize group activities, just asking people, if two out of three say yes, it's probably a go, if only one out of three, it's more maybe. To me, the skills of low-key leadership are much more straightforward than the nebulous skills of just hanging out.

I think there are four general aspects to the Asperger's-Autism Spectrum:

1) intense intellectual interests
2) social awkwardness, even though the person might very much want social interaction
3) sensory issues, and
4) stimming (for example I like to squeeze and twist a soft T-shirt as I imagine sports or movies. Yes, this is embarrassing. This is something I do privately, and it sometimes puts me in kind of an alpha state meditation where I'm able to release tension and/or emotionally process things.) More quote-unquote 'normal' stimming includes poker players fiddling with chips, a student bouncing or waving a leg during a math test, or someone fiddling with a pen while talking on the phone.

I don't think DSM-4 is any great shakes. (Will try and include a link on the very sparse amount of information they include on sensory issues)

And as you read here, you will see people have had experiences with mental health professionals that are all across the board. Some professionals are very good, some are mediocre and you might be able to work with them, and some are just plain lousy.

And so, that's it ? ? ?

And to the best of my ability, their official definition of Asperger's Syndrome does not include include sensory issues at all. And all I can say to that is, Wow.

Here is a person's creative spoof re-write to the DSM definition of Asperger's. I think it's better than the original!
http://www.journeyswithautism.com/2009/ ... or-autism/

And here's the DSM-IV "Diagnostic Criteria for 299.80 Asperger's Disorder" (and again, I don't think it's any particular great shakes)
http://www.autreat.com/dsm4-aspergers.html

Hi LittleJ07! Welcome to Wrong Planet! Check out the many interesting and helpful forums here. It does sound like you may be on the Autism/Asperger's spectrum. Go to the General Autism forum. There is at least one post article with links to online tests. Take the tests to get an idea of where you stand. If it indicates you may be on the Autism/Asperger's spectrum, save the results and print out a copy for your records, and another to give to a psych doc, if you decide to go for an official diagnosis. If you do go for an evaluation, make sure the psych doc has experience with adults who have spectrum disorders. There are a lot of different types of psych issues. No one psych doc can be experienced in all of them. Those that don't have expertise in spectrum disorders are often as ignorant as the general public about it. That's why it's important to ask about this when seeking an appointment for an evaluation.

Hope this helps. Remember, you are among friends here at WP!

Thank you all for your input - clearly a lovely community here.

I have done a few of the tests today. For the Broad Autism Phenotype test, I scored Autistic/BAP (102 aloof, 93 rigid and 86 pragmatic). I got 36 on the Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) test.

I don't quite fit the DSM-4 criteria but it looks as though this comes with some controversy. Nevertheless, I don't have any stimming behaviour.

I am not going to rush to the doctor, at least not yet. I'm a little shocked at my very tentative possible self-diagnosis (although I'm not declaring myself AS). I think I'll linger around here a little longer, read what other people are saying and think it all over.

All I can say right now is that I strongly identify with many aspects of AS.

It's in the proposed DSM V. (B,4):

"4.     Hyper-or hypo-reactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of environment; (such as apparent indifference to pain/heat/cold, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, fascination with lights or spinning objects)."

Even though it wasn't in the DSM IV, most clinicians experienced the sensory issues enough to take it into strong consideration.

Jason.

Hi.

First, I have absolutely no idea how a diagnostic assessment for Asperger's might make you feel.

Secondly, my advice is that you should seek a diagnosis of Asperger's Disorder only if you need support (official or otherwise), or if you are experiencing significant impairments in your daily life. As it stands, Asperger's is classified as a disorder, and getting labeled with a mental disorder is serious business not to be taken lightly. IMHO, just "feeling different" or "awkward" in of itself is not a sufficient reason to get yourself labeled with a mental disorder (not saying that's what you're doing, just illustrating a point).

Furthermore, I'm not trying to be a "Negative Nancy," but there's a bit of an irritating internet trend wherein people want to get diagnosed on the basis that they think "Asperger's" is just an arbitrary label for a clique of socially awkward, introverted geeks, and, based on my own highly-subjective experiences, I know that getting diagnosed can have farther-reaching consequences than simply "feeling emotionally validated." I feel somewhat compelled to be a voice of skepticism.

To recap, get DXed if you're struggling. If you're not, I would wait. In the mean time, feel free to hang. More friends are a good thing, regardless of diagnostic status.

Hi XFilesGeek,

I totally agree with what you're saying.

I don't think I need any support and generally I can do all the things I need to - eg buy food shopping, work (as an at-home freelancer) etc. Having thought about it, I am more aware of the possible consequences of seeking/getting a diagnosis. I have a relative whose Asperger's makes his life very difficult (he cannot work, can't live totally independently), so I know it's not just about feeling different but also, I know it's a spectrum. Whatever the reason for the way I am, I am able to find enjoyment in life and get by, when I'm not hung up on social skills issues.

Like I said, I'm not going to declare myself as having this or that. Right now, I'm just a person who identifies with some Asperger's traits. To be honest, trying to think too much about myself just gives me a headache!

So yes, I will wait and lurk around here. Thanks everyone for your honesty and for taking the time to comment.

What about this...for me, I have just come to understand that I am not wired like "typical" people are wired. I do not know that there is an identified label to describe "me," nor am I sure I really need one. While I technically fit the diagnostic criteria of ADD, I am aware that it doesn't really describe me exactly. And while I find I have a sizable deal in common with many Aspies I know, that doesn't really fit either, and I don't fit the diagnostic criteria. Sometimes I feel like I sit right in the middle between NT and ASD.

So, I have come to just see myself as atypically wired and I've come to accept it. It explains a lot of things about me and helps me be less self-critical and more self-accepting because I know that some things I struggle with are things that I am neurologically bound to struggle with. I don't struggle because I am lazy or bad or thoughtless.

Recognizing that I am not wired like typical people has also helped me uncover and embrace the things about my wiring that I wouldn't change for the world, because I am most certain they'd be gone if I was wired like everyone else in the room.

In many regards, my kids also kind of fall into this space between NT and ASD. They just happen to fall a little further toward the ASD side than I do. My daughter used to be clearly ASD, but now she is morphing more into a shadow, I think. But I still use ASD (and ADHD) as a framework for trying to understand their issues that arise, because even if it isn't a perfect fit, it's a place to start, and it is certainly a better framework for them than an NT one.

To me, there is nothing wrong with simply acknowledging that you are not like NT people. I don't know for certain that you need to have a specific label if you don't need specific support that you can only obtain with a label.

I'm not sure if I am clearly conveying what I mean to convey. I guess part of what I am trying to say is that if you do decide to go to try to get a diagnosis and they tell you that you do not have AS, that doesn't mean you are just a "weirdo." Your issues could still stem from your neurobiological make-up, even if they don't conform to some man-made criteria for labeling.

Besides, there is nothing wrong with being weird. And there are definitely limitations to being just like everyone else.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do. Just keep in mind that no label will change who you are. And you can learn more about who you are with or without a label.

To me, and I am self-diagnosed and comfortable being self-diagnosed, Asperger’s Syndrome gives kind of a conceptual whole which helps me to better understand myself. And I think it also helps me better roll with my strengths and be more matter-of-fact with my deficiencies and also ways to kind of ‘dance’ learning new skills.

Hi InThisTogether,

Thank you for weighing in - what you have written makes perfect sense to me. I like it so much, I might print it out to stick inside my wardrobe for days of confusion. Yeah, I guess I'm atypically wired too and somewhere between NT and AS. I'm pretty sure I'm not bad, mean or lazy (I try not to be anyway). I like to understand things through labels so maybe this will do. Might help when I feel down.

Thinking of it this way explains many past incidences that have always plagued and confused me - freaking out at 'normal' things, blurting out strange comments, the sensory issues and lots of other little things.

At the same time, I've been hugely lucky and I'm grateful. Bullying was never a real problem at my school, my parents were totally relaxed about anyone's eccentricities and I've always been able to find kind, patient men to love me. I know that I am really am fortunate and I've got to remember that, even if my lack of social skills/knowledge sometimes cuts me up inside. And I probably can thank my 'wiring' for a few good aspects of myself.

Thanks again everyone, you have helped me untangle a few things.

Glad I could help!