Freaking Out

Post Reply New Topic

***walks into auditorium***
***steps on stage....looks around***

Hi

***there's feedback from the microphone***
***clears throat***

Hi...........I am brand new here and was just "officially" diagnosed with Asperger's yesterday.
I have already been diagnosed bi-polar, severe depression and severe anxiety (especially in social situations) but this one really smacked me in the face for some reason.

Even though I have been on medication for my bi-polar issues and anxiety issues, nothing ever made sense to me. Why was I always the one that was considered "awkward" by everyone? Why was I always the one that was on the outside looking in? Why was I always accused of being rude when there isn't a rude/mean bone in my body?

Well, it seems that I have received my answer!

I never even heard of Asperger's Syndrome prior to about a month ago. After I asked my wife to look it up, she started asking me questions on some of the "quizzes" out there on the internet. I didn't put much stock into it, but I clearly fell into the criteria of being an "aspie".

Then it started.....my wife and I started noticing things that I just accepted as "normal" in my life. The first thing she asked was when we were driving and she asked me if I ever really stood and looked at the electrical poles and how weird it is that electricity is flowed thru the city.

My answer was "yes."........because I have. I then went into a pretty good (one-sided) conversation about the structure of a city and how electricity must travel from place to place and the cost of wires and how cable is thrown in there, yada yada yada.

Then I was signing into our time share up in the mountains a couple of weeks ago......the person checking me in asked if I had a cell phone...
I answered, "yes"....

There was a moment of silence.

I looked at my wife, and she informed me that I should give the woman my cell phone number.
It was things like that that always happened to me. I didn't really understand the questions, but I did. I told my psychiatrist about this, and she told me that, in reality, I answered the question that was asked of me. She tried to make me feel better by telling me that I am not doing anything wrong, I just perceive the question in a different way than "Neuro-typical people do.

A 38 year old geek without any friends and scared to death to go out and find new ones......hell, how do you even make them at my age?

I've been going thru stuff like this my whole life..........never had any friends, never could keep a conversation going....but I can tell you every single word from all six Star Wars movies and all three Lord Of The Rings movies.....hell, I can even speak the languages of the those worlds!

But here, it seems I am not speaking the language. My wife seems to be taking the news well, although it's only been a day now. I am debating whether or not to tell my boss, because she is constantly telling me that I say the wrong things at the wrong time and look miserable in meetings when I clearly am not miserable, I just don't smile.

Anyway, sorry for the ranting, but I guess if we are all here for the same reason, you all understand. I am happy to be here and hope to speak to some of you. I am going to start browsing the forums now to see if I can get more information on my issues.

Thanks for reading!

welcome to WP.

Glad to have you

Hi!


It is nice to finally find answers

At first I didn't put stock into my boyfriend asking me if I was autistic... I thought pfffft!! !! Insult! Because like many, I had the image of rainman in my mind. I looked into Aspergers breifly and dismissed.. almost like I had already dismissed it before looking into it...

Then I smacked into a site about aspergers when searching out all my severe sensory issues... and the ring of truth hit me... hence my journey began.

I am glad you have begun your journey - it sure makes so many past memories make sense! Just wait til you come across things you thought were normal for everyone alive... and it turns out.. nope... just you ... That one always gets me lol

As for telling your boss - I wouldn't... My bosses always said they loved me like family... that they were my friends yada yada...

When I told them about my aspergers they said "you must be extremely high functioning" and said it was all in my head.. yet they tell me "You are a crack up to work with" ... "You never know what you will say or do next to make us laugh" (I am an extremely serious person in day to day life.. so never intend to make anyone laugh!) and many more such statements that clearly they think I am weird and "different" ... yet I must be high functioning and they almost didn't rehire me for this summer season "because last year you became pretty mental" (I had worked 2 seasons there already and been given a raise for exceptional dedication and hard work)

so.. consider it seriously before making any decisions.

My best to you and yours on your new Journey.

Hi Kaygee! Welcome to Wrong Planet! Check out the many interesting and helpful forums here. You are among friends here at WP!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welkome to WP

Mick

Welcome to WP! Was just diagnosed 2 mos ago at 36yo. You are far from alone.

Hi Kaygee, welcome to Wrong Planet

Snork, memorizing Star Wars movies.

I'm also 38 -- When I was... oh, five or six, I initiated a fist fight with my cousin because he damn well KEPT SAYING THE LINES WRONG!!

"It's not 'more will come back', it's 'they will return in greater numbers!'"
"Whatever!"
"Aaah!" *whap*

Haha, I beat you--37! I win, cuz its a contest right? No? Dang... <---attempt at humor

nymeria8 is right. you are not alone. also, what valkyrie2012 said--don't worry about work just yet. focus on yourself and your relationship with your wife. This is about you, and you need to give yourself space to figure it out. But don't shut your wife out either. She's been there for you and is part of this. My wife and I have been going through multiple diagnoses (for both of us) for the last for years. Things seem pretty complicated sometimes.
Hang out for awhile and soak it all in. Heck, I've been here a year and just started posting today.

Welcome!

Welcome to WP!

I thank you for all of the warm welcomes! It's weird how you kind of knew there was something "different" about yourself your entire life, but it is even weirder to find out that you were right!

But, I don't think I'd trade this "syndrome" in to be a neurotypical person...nothing against them, I just like seeing the world this way!