Interesting Pattern

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I suppose the only reason that we are perceived negatively by others is because society decides to 'brand' anyone that diverges away from what is considered "normal" and acceptable behaviour. Society needs to realize that we are NOT all 'carbon-copies' of each other, and that we all different personalities and ways of living our lives. One saying that I actually like is "Variety is the spice of life."

IDK. To be very honest l feel like people wouldn't say that to you if there were no truth to it, especially multiple people. Even when Aspies here are treated like it's usually by one person(there's a difference between being dismissed and told you are a basically a liar and a fraud), even in my own life l've concluded that if multiple people who don't know me react the same way to something l do that it is most likely something l can fix.Those comments are pretty extreme, unless most people you know are just as*holes you really must have the ability to function more easily than some people with AS.

What l observe on this forum is that family and friends can become exhausted with Aspies, but are often understanding and tolerant in the end. The disorder can frustrate a lot of people but for you to be accused of faking to that extent IRL maybe you just don't realize that you have the capability to function more easily.

Or maybe you have a different disorder. l would say to keep in mind that even some higher functioning Aspies are now being excluded from diagnosis so if everyone around you can't see it the doctors may not be able to either.

I suppose what you're saying could be true, although the reason that they're in denial is because they actually know what Asperger's is; they haven't researched about it or even attempted to read about it- the only person that did that I mentioned was my godmother. Although, other people that don't know about the disorder have pointed out and told me some of the things that they notice I do, for example, a close friend of mine notice lack of eye contact, monotonous voice, not being able to read facial expressions, not being able to figure out whether someone was listening to me or not etc.

Thank you for your feedback, though; I should be finding out for sure sometime this month or the next whether I have AS or not.

my reply was actually meant for the OP. l read over your posts though.

In your case l think it does sound more like undiagnosed AS and its pretty typical for that to be dismissed as extreme shyness, quirkiness, or eccentricity. And although some families will still try to encourage someone who may have a disorder to overcome it they can also usually recognize when and if a person has real impairments and odd behavior that they cannot do anything about.

l only meant that in the case of someone who is being called manipulative and a faker by so many people that this may not be the case

Ooops!...sorry.
...your otherwise directed advice still did help, though.

...thank you for your advice.

This post is directed at three people in particular that I live with. And the biggest problem is that I had a PDD NOS diagnosis in California but when I moved I got a new doctor from a free clinic (that closed now due to Mal practice) who was on a recovery binge. They would ask me every day I went how much closer to being "cured" I was, then they changed my diagnosis to schizophrenia (which I am certain I do not have) then to mild depression, maybe. I do not even know how they reached those conclusions after seeing me for three months.

My roommates said that I must have been lying and that they felt cheated. Set aside the fact that I have serious sensory issues, set aside that they have seen me have meltdowns so bad they looked like seizures, set aside that I rarely get sarcasm, that I can't stand being surprised. I had a meltdown last week because they re-arranged the furniture . . . again. And without telling me.

My mother has never been any help, because she always wanted a perfect family and was psychologically abusive. Her own doctor said she wanted to evaluate me for the autism spectrum and she declined, said her daughter wasn't defective. There went my chance of diagnosis while I was still in high school.

Now my roomates, without me telling them what it was, they have described to me asperger traits as things I do and agree with me when I told them of the things I found. But when I said the name . . . well of course I could not be autistic at all! Autistic people need lots of help to function and are obsessed with math and have savant skills and communicate poorly (and the next day they will complain that I communicate poorly). There is no way I could have autism because I can write well, because I can dress myself.

I have told them before, I can't look at you directly and hear you at the same time, it doesn't work! One of them told me to cut the BS.

Now, what about being able to pretend being NT as best you can? If you can do that, should you necessarily? I think we have heard cases where it seems to work, but can end up leaning to burn out and reversion to more apparent aspie-ness. What do you think of that?

I think it very much does lead to burn out, it sure happened to me. Trying to meet the expectations of a neuritypical world is tirering, to the point that you get so exhausted . . . well I went from trying to fit in, to trying to keep up to being disoriented a lot and running inward, for lack of a better term. Now things I could deal with have gotten very hard such as sudden changes in schedule or menu.

For example we had planned to go out to eat at a certain place, half way there on the drive they all chose it was better to go to this other place and I just cried and cried because i used the drive to mentally prepare to handle the noise, look and people of the first place and now I had no time to get adjusted. They thought I was being "hormonal" . . . like I was on my period or something.

D: l didn't realize you had a diagnosis in childhood. l think if a doctor is aware of that you will have an easier time getting an AS diagnosis.

Sorry, your mental health history sound significant. Sometimes there are people here who exaggerate their difficulties for whatever reason. Not sure why nobody believes you then. Maybe you seem like you read people too well and that's why they reject the idea of Asperger's.

Schizophrenia is similar...less common for it to be mistaken with AS now but l actually have talked about the similarities between the two here A LOT. And some posters really do seem to be somewhere in between, so l think the lack of difficulty with social situations or even being skilled socially while having all the other traits of AS makes it difficult for some people to ever get a correct diagnosis.

With the way the DSM is though, if you feel that you need a diagnosis to receive SSI or something like that, accepting the schizophrenia diagnosis may be the best option since they're pretty hesitant to consider Asperger's for people who are inconsistent with the traits now(they will accept all sorts of inconsistencies with schizophrenia and it's related disorders since it is such a poorly defined diagnosis anyway).

What I think is funny is that I do have social difficulties. Its hard for me to discern when its my time speak, looking up at people while they talk is distracting. I have learned to have "scripts" Things you say when certain things are said to you, but when the meaning changes I am left stranded.

I can pass on casual stuff, but with close scrutiny my skills just don't hold up. I am doing great typing, but in person you would not get much out of me, unless it was related to one of my interests.

I have comfort objects. right now it is a bracelet with the word imagine on it, but its almost faded out. I rub it constantly when i am out of the house or talking to anyone.

Well, I still do struggle with the workload etc. at school i.e. I'm very poor at completing tasks on time; I always over think a task and end up stressing myself out because of it, I have poor summary skills when it comes to 'shortening down' texts etc and my special interests ALWAYS end up getting in the way of my important tasks. To go straight to the point, I can probably pass as an NT on the outside and not get a diagnosis, however not getting one would not allow me to get help with my studies and my issues etc. A diagnosis would also give me reassurance and will likely be a relief- both to my family and myself.

@Mirror21: The same thing happened to me about my ADHD. I procedeed to tell my aunt about my issues, she agreed with all of them, but when I told her it's actually a real Dx and it's called ADHD, she got angry with him and said it wasn't true and I was just making things up as an excuse for my laziness. She still doesn't believe me. If I try to tell her that I have a certain impairment because of ADHD, she gets terribly angry with me. However, if I tell her I have the same impairment because of "lower levels of dopamine in my brain" or "some executive function issues", she is okay with it (well, that's precisely what ADHD is, an issue with executive function and is caused by lower levels of dopamine in the synapse). It's the name and the fact that it's a pathological label that she doesn't want to accept.

People have their own mental image about you, based on what they know about you and their interactions with you. They also have their own representation of autism/Asperger's, which is probably very incorrect and based upon stereotypes, pop psychology and media representation of autistic people. When you, who do not appear to fit the stereotype, come out and tell them about your Dx, you are practically saying: ME = AUTISTIC. So they need to compare their representation of you as a person and their representation of autistic/aspie people. No wonder these two cannot overlap. Their cognitive functions cannot put the two together. So they will reject the possibility that you (a functional person, as they see you) might be an autistic (someone like Rain Man or something similar, as stereotypes go).

That sounds pretty accurate. I just give up on trying to explain it and try to handle myself as best I can, but sometimes its just . . . really hard.

When I told a few family members about my schizoid diagnosis, none of them disagreed with me, but I think it is because no one knows about schizoid PD (except for nerds on the internet). I couldn't be accused of having the Disorder of the Month or being a hypochondriac. Plus, it is a diagnosis that does not presume anything about your neurology and development. No one would argue that I don't have blunted affect or social withdrawal. I did get questions about the significance of being diagnosed with a schizoid personality. But that's a different kind of question than doubting the diagnosis altogether.

I have a feeling, though, that it would be very different if I started talking about my AS diagnosis. AS is everywhere. I can't read or watch anything without hearing about it. I'm sure the same goes for my family. And I can just hear my mother saying, "You don't have AS. You weren't that weird as a kid! No weirder than your sister anyway! You're just being silly!" And because I'm so unsure myself, I probably would believe her.

Wow this seems to happen a great deal. Though it is comforting to know I am not alone, it is still amazing how people react to certain things such as invisible disabilities.

"Why don'y you just APPLY yourself?!" From almost everyone throughout my school years.
"He's just unique!" and "You are just s stubborn!" I hear these all plus a good many other old "chestnuts".
My family has ALWAYS been in denial ( To my FACE, behind my back its been a different story) about my difficulties. My mother does not want to realize I still cannot tie my shoes at 50. She is right in that I am NOT mentally ret*d, but I have some definite visual/spatial issues that have never gone away.
Autism is the A word here. Never to be used, that is..

Sincerely,
Matthew'