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LostNutritionGurl
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21 Jul 2012, 6:03 am

Or do you just switch from obsession to obsession? Or it just me that goes through life this way?



loner1984
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21 Jul 2012, 6:27 am

Pretty much not. Dont really grow, and have had the same obsession "gaming" my entire life.



Shatbat
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21 Jul 2012, 6:37 am

We're not who we are, but what we do to change who we are.


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Verdandi
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21 Jul 2012, 7:11 am

I've grown in some ways, remained the same in others. My interests have evolved over time, but I've had my primary interest for over 30 years (gaming).



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21 Jul 2012, 7:14 am

I've had my primary special interest (playing music) for 14 years, but I've also had other special interests that went side-by-side with that one.



thedaywalker
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21 Jul 2012, 7:20 am

Everyone grows and changes as a person. You can grow inwards this usualy doesn't get noticed, you can grow outwards this gets noticed and you can grow towards the tv.



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21 Jul 2012, 7:39 am

LostNutritionGurl wrote:
Or do you just switch from obsession to obsession? Or it just me that goes through life this way?


Same.



PTSmorrow
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21 Jul 2012, 9:17 am

No idea what "growing as a person" means. Guess it's just another New Age buzzword.



oncebitten
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21 Jul 2012, 10:02 am

What kind of growth are you asking about? There are so many different kinds of growth.

People do "grow" and change. But much of it depends upon their willingness to grow and change and the support they have in their growth and change.

It really not easy to go out and try new things, not even for NT's. It's far easier and less stressful to stay cocooned and wrapped up in the things that feel most comfortable and safe. If you feel good about that kind of life - then that's great for you. But - if you feel like you're missing something and you want more, you need to explore the reason why you feel that way. Then you can take measures to get yourself to the point that you do feel fulfilled.



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21 Jul 2012, 10:50 am

In addition to willingness to grow and change as a person, there's also the issue of having roll models of how to grow and change as a person. And people with autism have a lot less appropriate role models for them than NTs do.


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Mirror21
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21 Jul 2012, 10:59 am

Verdandi wrote:
I've grown in some ways, remained the same in others. My interests have evolved over time, but I've had my primary interest for over 30 years (gaming).


Same boat tho according to a friend of mine, I haven't "grown" and moved forward at all in 7 years.

Apparently spontaneous is growing.



PixelPony
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21 Jul 2012, 11:29 am

I think I do, but slowly. I don't feel my age at all. I relate better to people ten years younger than I. /shrug


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21 Jul 2012, 11:46 am

My obsessions change. I have also changed as a person as I have gotten older.


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oncebitten
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21 Jul 2012, 12:51 pm

@ Misty:

I think a lot of it also has to do with the difference in how NT's think, view and relate to things as opposed to those on the spectrum.

From my own experiences I am able to help my daughter along. The process is slow but it is geared toward her becoming confident when she starts stepping outside of her comfort zone. One of the things she does is volunteer at the local library. She is great with kids and adults adore her. She has a more difficult time connecting with peers. Small talk - or pretending at it - ican only go so far. At the library she can work with kids and be around adults that she can relate to - but she also gets the opportunity to be around her peers without it being "too social". The interactions are not as "intimate" and more on a general basis. She's learning social interactions without the pressure of it being a personal thing. She can talk to someone and help them out - do the small talk thing and move on in a few minutes. On one hand - she's somewhere she feels comfortable, she's confident in what she does and she's pushing her own boundaries as far as relating to her peers on a less stressful or personal level. If she plans to go away for college she will need to grow and change in order to fulfill her ambition of becoming a marine biologist.

She has found a small (albeit odd) group of friends that are really good kids by learning to push herself a bit. She had her 16th birthday a few weeks ago and to my surprise - she invited 5 kids out to the lake for a cook out and cake and swimming. All of them showed up and she said it was the best birthday she's ever had. I know it took so much courage to even invite these kids - so the chance she took really paid off in the end. I see the difference in her attitude and her willingness to extend herself.



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21 Jul 2012, 1:00 pm

Well, I learn and mature and I assume that's what "growing as a person" means, so yes. I've been doing quite a bit of that lately since I realized I'm on the spectrum, but in general learning to cope with things I couldn't before, learning new skills, understanding myself better and how to... um, trick myself into behaving the way I want to (get things done, stop procrastinating, avoid meltdowns, etc)., all that is growing as a person, correct? As for my interests, they change but they tend to be related to each other or cycle over time. When I compare myself now to how I was seven years ago, I realize how much more competent I am now in almost every area (even though I don't always feel that way).



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21 Jul 2012, 1:08 pm

l relate with that you said about just switching from obsession to obsession.

l feel like l've adopted personality traits from all different types of people while going through my obsessions, though. Somehow my "self" has remained seperate during that time.

l can give the impression of having grown up a lot but all of it feels transient.


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