Stop blaming Asperger's!

Post Reply New Topic

Hi guys. I remade a YouTube video of my life with Asperger's Syndrome.

Here it goes. Enjoy your show.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h--YnXle8gc[/youtube]

Last edited by AussieMatty on 22 Jul 2012, 4:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

I agree with you. I refuse to blame Asperger's for any of my problems.

Thank you!

BUMP this thread to catch up with everyone online here.

I did not watch the video, I have no sound on. But I can say this, you do not have to blame your problems on your syndrome BUT the disorder DOES come with its own set of problems.

I understand what the OP is trying to do here. But when you keep working on your social skills and do whatever else you can to try to fit in, and the same type of issues come up every time due to AS, hard not to say the AS is an issue.

I posted awhile ago how I can learn better social skills, but no matter how hard I try, I can't read people. I am always second guessing what they are really trying to say. This is due to AS. Am I using it as an excuse? I don't think so, but you need to know how you are to function better with people, if you have AS, that's a part of that.

People I get close to and work with every day, I tell them I need them to be direct with me. I say that what they say is what I think they really mean because I can't read people. Is that using AS as an excuse?

Okay everyone. I deleted my videos because I believe my consensus of educating people is not working. I am not getting enough views, but rest of it is just terrible remarks against my struggles. I can't do it. The problem myself. I am a stranger to the world. I have very low social status. This mean that no one cares about me to include as their friends. I am really struggling to make new friends here at the university and Townsville lately. I haven't been depressed, nor stress nor anxious nor anything. Just curious what is it?

So I believe I don't belong to any such places in the world I can fit in because I am struggling to learn other people's intentions in the social environment. I have a counsellor for SEVEN years! That is big number, I say it again. SEVEN YEARS! Okay, I calm down now. Yes 7 years I have been talking to the counsellors about my struggles within the social environment including family, friends, the university, work place and sporting. I would have been improved a lot because its 7 years that seem rather long enough.

Now, I am 21 years old. What it mean to you? Young! VERY YOUNG! Okay, well what is a big deal for young age people? Learn things! It means I wanted to make new friends because its a learning thing. The lesser than that happening, the more struggle I am. I mentioned in the videos I uploaded on YouTube. I believe more than 75% of the population who viewed those videos never understand what the words I have said. Okay, sorry. You know what? That is the best I can do. Are you recommending me to go to see a therapy? No, I find that offensive to be asked for. No one speak perfectly! I have a hearing loss. What it means to you? Language development problems, yes that what caused. You telling me to see a speech therapy is really offensive because you are blaming on my problems which is not my fault.

Okay that why I made that YouTube video of blaming me for my own problems that is never my fault. I ended it. I show you my poor attitude for deleting it. Why? I reflected on your attitude about it! Your attitude is doing the work to push, pressure and pull me away from me trying to educate people.

I am nearly finished uni. Im glad! I hate this place. I mean I hate uni. Because everyone is like partying and don't care about people disabilities. They make fun of it. Seriously. What is going on? Its so damaging to me. Causing me a lot of pressure for my future career work place. Indeed I will struggle there because there will be so many things that I never learnt before that you should have learnt during at uni! So does my future CEO or boss going to blame me for this? Then I become homeless? No marriage? Nervous breakdown? Antisocial?

Here is ABC article I did who they asked me. Have a good read and listen. Just basis.
http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/201 ... northcoast

I am thinking to delete my whole internet account as well. I can't stop being on here because I got nothing to do outside of uni at all. I'm really lost at the moment. Everyone, mostly, just partying and doing stupid alcohol drinking. I had enough. I rather be antisocial and that.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are young. You have alot to contribute. I was not trying to say you are not right. Sorry if it came off like that. I just was saying with what I personally have been through, issues due to AS always seem to come up. So its best to be aware of it and adjust best you can. Its not an excuse.

Video is back now....

This.

x 1000.

If AS is not to blame for any of your problems, why are you diagnosed with a disability in the first place? You do realise that it's a disability and not just a set of character flaws?

Lets look from this perspective, I cannot help it if I am born dumb. However, I have the right to blame autism because I think it is responsible for my below average intelligence. When I am not depressed, I still make the same stupid mistakes, so depression is not causing my muddled thinking. So there you go autism is causing my low intelligence. However, there is another factor. My brain was born with a lack of social skills meaning of course I cannot have a normal conversation. That will stay with me for life. I have every right to blame autism on my problems, it is a stupid disorder of the brain that should not exist in the first place.

I didn't watch the video and don't blame my problems on anything or anyone other than myself. But after a lifetime of being "different" I can pin some behaviors / outcomes on Aspergers. I have found in the past certain behaviours had to be learned, now that I have a starting place I can work out these things more systematically instead of waiting until things go south then figuring it was because I take things literally or whatever.

There's a wrong way and a right way to approach "blaming" AS in my opinion.

There are things AS people have trouble with. They can be worked on, sometimes even hidden, but they will never go away. You have to be aware of that, and it might cause you to stumble, or hold you back. Not everyone can reach the hidden stage, but you can't stop trying. In that case, there's nothing wrong with "blaming" AS.

Now on the flip side, if you say "I have AS, I can't make friends" and never try that is blaming in the bad sense.

"That will stay with me for life." There is the disconnect! Those of us who refuse to blame our Aspergers do not believe that this will stay with us for life. We work every day so that we CAN have a normal conversation, and we work our ass off so that we can function better each and every day. Instead of saying "oh well! this is my life!" we say "I demand that my life be better every day, and I am going to work to achieve that goal and make it a reality."

I am currently reading 4 books on personal development and listening to an audio series as well. I do this each and every day because of my commitment to not have the "This will stay with me for life" mentality.

When it comes to Asperger's, blame might be a strong word. I accept it is the probable cause of many of my traits. I at no point blame the Asperger's for that, though. It is simply part of my make up, and I work with it the best I can.

The blame you speak of, Matty, are people diagnosed with Asperger's using it as a crutch or excuse when things go wrong or they behave in ways other people don't like which is sometimes it's down to the person being a dick and not the Asperger's itself!

Do you think it happens more in people with an earlier diagnosis than a late one? Or are other factors involved such as age in relation to when they were diagnosed?