I think he likes me, but...

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Yes, I've had experiences in this vein, too. And so have several women I know. Anecdotal evidence, but again, I was trying to bring a broader perspective in general. I wasn't talking about rejection for other reasons (which has also happened). {shrug} Whatevs.

This.

I've never heard a guy say this about a girl: "That girl who I liked made the first move on me! Yuck!".

ok, so... here's a secret that you might not realise. even older adults will go ahead and ask their friends to find out if someone is interested, like: "i really think Mike is cute but i can't tell if he likes me. have you heard him mention me?" if they do not know how he feels, they will check on it because... now they are intrigued and they want a front-row seat.

yes, yes i KNOW - teenagers do that, right? well, even older adults do it, because it can spare everyone's feelings from flat-out rejection. obviously this only works if you have mutual friends, though.

barring that, you can always say something leading, like: "i really enjoy spending time with you." then if you get an equal response back without any new information, step it up a little with something like: "i miss you when you are not around." or "i look forward to our time together." BOTH genders engage in these sorts of comment because it tests the water and nudges the other person subtly to declare their feelings.

***

about women asking men out: this is my preferred way to go about things, unless there is a mutual situation (rare). but i am fairly assertive anyways, so it fits my personality for the future relationship itself. after a few rejections i did find out later they didn't like that i took the initiative, but i wouldn't say it was any sort of majority - most guys just weren't interested (and a couple were gay ).

i would not change my way of going about things because of the possibility of rejection for it, because then i am pretending to be someone i am not for the sake of social niceties. any man i date has to be open to a very upfront and assertive female who doesn't care for gender roles, so if they cannot handle it from the get-go they are not the person for me. so if i scare them off right at the outset, that works perfectly.

I like this!

I think he is interested. He's doing all the things I would do when I am interested in someone.

Try doing some of the behaviors he is doing to you to him, like poking him back, leaning into him (quite "accidentally" of course) and see how he responds.

Was he an aspie? That sounds sort of familiar, I might be kinda like that. Except the "too independant" comment (I would never discourage independance, more independance means less dependance means less responsibility/decisions, plus I don't really get it in context, to me too independant would mean *not* initiating or wanting things from others enough).

I think in the early part of relationship I get to thinking we have to have sex all the time to seal the deal, but then after a while I feel like ... we only need to do this once in a very long time, like a few times a year sort of thing (although never is too long!). I have a really low drive. I think I see it more as a mutual affirmation thing than a physical demand. Also, I suck at it.

Plans to go out, I do not handle well because yeah, I don't go out, and I don't want to, unless I have to or there's some really powerful drive to do something in particular. Which usually isn't "going out" really, more like going swimming or biking or boating or something like that, never anything social. But I never say it's because I might want to do something else. That would be silly. It's blatantly obvious to anyone who knows me that I generally don't want to do anything else in particular.

Starting to think a typical relationship is just too much for me. I've got things to offer to be sure, but not enough to be someone else's whole world. I guess I'm ... too independant!