Getting off on the right foot

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Gregorz
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28 Nov 2006, 5:31 pm

So, for a while now, I've been posting on my university's message board on Myspace. And through this I've encountered a girl I think I'd really like - she's cute, single (ok I swear I'm going to get more picky in just a second) and she seems to be into all the things I'm into - namely anime, gaming and the like. She also does the same course as me, and I've seen her briefly in lectures on campus. We actually discussed some games we'd both played very briefly on the boards, but since they're not very active it's hard to keep a conversation going.

My question is - how should I go about getting to know her better? Since the 'net is my forte (like, seriously. For some reason using text I can manage to make people laugh =O), it would probably be best to strike up a chat; this way she can get to know me a bit better before my actual social ineptitude becomes apparent. but I don't know her MSN, and I'm afraid of just randomly adding her to my myspace friends. Should I send her a message? Saying what? And how do I avoid coming off as the sweaty needy pervert I am, and instead focus on the sarcastic loveable jerk I can be?

I've already been fretting over this for weeks, and I think I need to stop thinking and actually, y'know, try to talk to her. >_>



Louise
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28 Nov 2006, 5:44 pm

Hi, you seem cute and interesting, would you mind if I added you to msn?



alex
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28 Nov 2006, 5:46 pm

Wait is Louise the one from myspace? 8O


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Gregorz
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28 Nov 2006, 5:48 pm

Alex- Nup. >_>

But sure I guess. I always like talking to new people. :P



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28 Nov 2006, 5:50 pm

Gregorz wrote:
Alex- Nup. >_>

But sure I guess. I always like talking to new people. :P


wow you're quite the online ladies man. 8)


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Gregorz
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28 Nov 2006, 5:51 pm

Yeah. If only I could translate to offline. :( 18 and never had a girlfriend FTL. Trying, though, dammit. >_>



alex
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28 Nov 2006, 5:53 pm

Gregorz wrote:
Yeah. If only I could translate to offline. :( 18 and never had a girlfriend FTL. Trying, though, dammit. >_>


don't worry. in the near future, many more people will find their mates online. then you will have no problem. :wink:


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Gregorz
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28 Nov 2006, 6:10 pm

Yeah, a friend of mine who's in the same corridor as me at uni actually met her boyfriend on the internet (they both live in the same area anyway). He sent her a completely random question which piqued her interest (in her words, it made a difference from the people who just fawned over her, saying "oh you're cute" etc). They're both really cool people, and you wouldn't think from talking to them that they're actually nerds. But yeah, worked for him, so I'm trying to emulate it. :P

Alright, away from the subject of my e-studliness and back to the topic of my i-hesitance. How should I go about messaging this girl/getting to know her better?



alex
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28 Nov 2006, 7:21 pm

Gregorz wrote:
Yeah, a friend of mine who's in the same corridor as me at uni actually met her boyfriend on the internet (they both live in the same area anyway). He sent her a completely random question which piqued her interest (in her words, it made a difference from the people who just fawned over her, saying "oh you're cute" etc). They're both really cool people, and you wouldn't think from talking to them that they're actually nerds. But yeah, worked for him, so I'm trying to emulate it. :P

Alright, away from the subject of my e-studliness and back to the topic of my e-hesitance. How should I go about messaging this girl/getting to know her better?


say something completely new. something you know she's never heard before. this is very tricky. different people will respond differently. some girls get creeped out by the entire notion of online dating.


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Gregorz
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28 Nov 2006, 7:27 pm

I don't think that would be a big issue, since we're on the same campus anyway, and we could easily meet. Just it seems logical for me to start talking to her online, and then on the off-chance we actually get along, we could become friends on-campus too. But yeah, good advice ... now to think of something novel which isn't too bizarre. :P

Another thing I'm worried about is ridicule, or other people finding out that I like this person, and it 'spreading', so to speak. I guess it's something that happens to people in real relationships all the time, but for me it's a big deal for some reason. It's probably why I've held back for so long.



krex
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28 Nov 2006, 10:56 pm

If someone "teases you " for liking her ....say,"what?Are we still in grade school?...so and so sitting in a tree....grow up and stop being so jealous.....someone may like you guys some day."

and as a female....I love humor...self depreciating jewishy(seinfeld/Larry David NOT Adam Sandler)
Making references to the games you both like also establishes a "clan bond"....(worked with me and punk bands)If you have her IM ,message her.Ask a legit question or give her info about something you think might be interested in pertaining to the "gaming thing"...good luck....and if the conversation goes well,dont wait for ever to ask her on a casual date.....it's been my luck that by the time I work up the nerve to ask someone out....they have JUST found someone.....speed counts.


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Gregorz
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01 Dec 2006, 4:46 pm

I finally worked up the balls to send her a message. I'm just trying to ready myself for the inevitable rejection, so that I can not let it phase me too much. :P

Much thanks for the advice, y'all. We'll see where it goes from here ...



Louise
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01 Dec 2006, 6:02 pm

Sorry, my post was supposed to be an example of what you could say to her!

Anyway, good luck, and let us know how it goes... :)



krex
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02 Dec 2006, 2:48 am

Louise wrote:
Sorry, my post was supposed to be an example of what you could say to her!

Anyway, good luck, and let us know how it goes... :)


That was very funny and very aspie misunderstanding...lol

next time,make use of the " " (unless I have used them all up,I love those things and use them "every" chance I get.... :D )


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Gregorz
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02 Dec 2006, 1:36 pm

She's been online a fair amount since yesterday but I haven't gotten a reply yet. Looks like I got ignored. :( Ah well.