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Kaelynn
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08 Aug 2012, 11:30 pm

I have decided I HATE public transportion! I went with my dad and siblings to Washington DC last night and had to take the metro train. What happened was we parked the car and walked to the capital building, it was a very long walk. Once we got there we took pictures and such and then my dad said "We have a very long walk and its getting late. We are going to take the train back to the car." My younger siblings and I followed my dad to the train. After we bought our tickets we went under ground to wait for the train. I started pacing and repeating "I dont like trains!" but no one listened to me. All of the sudden I heard a horrable loud sound! I knew it was the train comming. I plugged my ears and repeated louder, "I dont like trains!! !" Again no one said any thing. I couldnt take it any more. The train was to loud, so I tried to run away and hide. But my dad caught me. He held my arms and said "What the hell are you doing?!" By that piont I couldnt speak. I tried to get away from my dad but then he put his arms around me and held me. That made me fight him even more. I tried to get away, I was crying and I couldnt speak. He got mad and started yelling in my face. He dragged me onto the train and made me sit in a seat. He kept trying to get me to speak but I couldnt even if I wanted to. When we had to get off he dragged me out of the train, still trying to talk to me. I was still crying and unable to speak. We ended up getting to the car and I calmed down and spoke again. But it was one of the worst meltdowns/shutdowns I have ever had. How can I aviod this? Other then never taking public transpotion ever.



hellokittyluvr
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08 Aug 2012, 11:50 pm

Kaelynn wrote:
I have decided I HATE public transportion! I went with my dad and siblings to Washington DC last night and had to take the metro train. What happened was we parked the car and walked to the capital building, it was a very long walk. Once we got there we took pictures and such and then my dad said "We have a very long walk and its getting late. We are going to take the train back to the car." My younger siblings and I followed my dad to the train. After we bought our tickets we went under ground to wait for the train. I started pacing and repeating "I dont like trains!" but no one listened to me. All of the sudden I heard a horrable loud sound! I knew it was the train comming. I plugged my ears and repeated louder, "I dont like trains!! !" Again no one said any thing. I couldnt take it any more. The train was to loud, so I tried to run away and hide. But my dad caught me. He held my arms and said "What the hell are you doing?!" By that piont I couldnt speak. I tried to get away from my dad but then he put his arms around me and held me. That made me fight him even more. I tried to get away, I was crying and I couldnt speak. He got mad and started yelling in my face. He dragged me onto the train and made me sit in a seat. He kept trying to get me to speak but I couldnt even if I wanted to. When we had to get off he dragged me out of the train, still trying to talk to me. I was still crying and unable to speak. We ended up getting to the car and I calmed down and spoke again. But it was one of the worst meltdowns/shutdowns I have ever had. How can I aviod this? Other then never taking public transpotion ever.


I'm sorry to hear that...I feel bad for you that no one was listening to you and your dad was yelling at you. Why did they make you get on the train if they knew you didn't like them?



Kaelynn
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09 Aug 2012, 12:03 am

hellokittyluvr wrote:
Kaelynn wrote:
I have decided I HATE public transportion! I went with my dad and siblings to Washington DC last night and had to take the metro train. What happened was we parked the car and walked to the capital building, it was a very long walk. Once we got there we took pictures and such and then my dad said "We have a very long walk and its getting late. We are going to take the train back to the car." My younger siblings and I followed my dad to the train. After we bought our tickets we went under ground to wait for the train. I started pacing and repeating "I dont like trains!" but no one listened to me. All of the sudden I heard a horrable loud sound! I knew it was the train comming. I plugged my ears and repeated louder, "I dont like trains!! !" Again no one said any thing. I couldnt take it any more. The train was to loud, so I tried to run away and hide. But my dad caught me. He held my arms and said "What the hell are you doing?!" By that piont I couldnt speak. I tried to get away from my dad but then he put his arms around me and held me. That made me fight him even more. I tried to get away, I was crying and I couldnt speak. He got mad and started yelling in my face. He dragged me onto the train and made me sit in a seat. He kept trying to get me to speak but I couldnt even if I wanted to. When we had to get off he dragged me out of the train, still trying to talk to me. I was still crying and unable to speak. We ended up getting to the car and I calmed down and spoke again. But it was one of the worst meltdowns/shutdowns I have ever had. How can I aviod this? Other then never taking public transpotion ever.


I'm sorry to hear that...I feel bad for you that no one was listening to you and your dad was yelling at you. Why did they make you get on the train if they knew you didn't like them?


So we wouldnt have a long walk back to the car because it was getting late and my little brother needed to get to bed.



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09 Aug 2012, 12:06 am

Well I hate public transportation too. The only way I have managed to deal with the horrible ambient noise and the nose if the large engines is to use an mp3 player. Play it loud so I do not have to hear everyone else. I take a portable dvd player with me to the SNAP office when I have to go (food stamp benefits) or when I have to be on long car rides.



hellokittyluvr
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09 Aug 2012, 12:23 am

Kaelynn wrote:
hellokittyluvr wrote:
Kaelynn wrote:
I have decided I HATE public transportion! I went with my dad and siblings to Washington DC last night and had to take the metro train. What happened was we parked the car and walked to the capital building, it was a very long walk. Once we got there we took pictures and such and then my dad said "We have a very long walk and its getting late. We are going to take the train back to the car." My younger siblings and I followed my dad to the train. After we bought our tickets we went under ground to wait for the train. I started pacing and repeating "I dont like trains!" but no one listened to me. All of the sudden I heard a horrable loud sound! I knew it was the train comming. I plugged my ears and repeated louder, "I dont like trains!! !" Again no one said any thing. I couldnt take it any more. The train was to loud, so I tried to run away and hide. But my dad caught me. He held my arms and said "What the hell are you doing?!" By that piont I couldnt speak. I tried to get away from my dad but then he put his arms around me and held me. That made me fight him even more. I tried to get away, I was crying and I couldnt speak. He got mad and started yelling in my face. He dragged me onto the train and made me sit in a seat. He kept trying to get me to speak but I couldnt even if I wanted to. When we had to get off he dragged me out of the train, still trying to talk to me. I was still crying and unable to speak. We ended up getting to the car and I calmed down and spoke again. But it was one of the worst meltdowns/shutdowns I have ever had. How can I aviod this? Other then never taking public transpotion ever.


I'm sorry to hear that...I feel bad for you that no one was listening to you and your dad was yelling at you. Why did they make you get on the train if they knew you didn't like them?


So we wouldnt have a long walk back to the car because it was getting late and my little brother needed to get to bed.



ahh i see



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09 Aug 2012, 2:11 am

Kaelynn wrote:
I have decided I HATE public transportion! I went with my dad and siblings to Washington DC last night and had to take the metro train. What happened was we parked the car and walked to the capital building, it was a very long walk. Once we got there we took pictures and such and then my dad said "We have a very long walk and its getting late. We are going to take the train back to the car." My younger siblings and I followed my dad to the train. After we bought our tickets we went under ground to wait for the train. I started pacing and repeating "I dont like trains!" but no one listened to me. All of the sudden I heard a horrable loud sound! I knew it was the train comming. I plugged my ears and repeated louder, "I dont like trains!! !" Again no one said any thing. I couldnt take it any more. The train was to loud, so I tried to run away and hide. But my dad caught me. He held my arms and said "What the hell are you doing?!" By that piont I couldnt speak. I tried to get away from my dad but then he put his arms around me and held me. That made me fight him even more. I tried to get away, I was crying and I couldnt speak. He got mad and started yelling in my face. He dragged me onto the train and made me sit in a seat. He kept trying to get me to speak but I couldnt even if I wanted to. When we had to get off he dragged me out of the train, still trying to talk to me. I was still crying and unable to speak. We ended up getting to the car and I calmed down and spoke again. But it was one of the worst meltdowns/shutdowns I have ever had. How can I aviod this? Other then never taking public transpotion ever.


I think it's advisable that you analyze this situation. Rather than pacing and saying "I don't like trains", what you likely should have said was "Is there another way back? I really don't like trains because (insert reason)". The way you went about it, it's very possible that your father just thought you were talking to yourself rather than attempting to communicate a problem to him, for which you were seeking a solution. Had you asked the question and conveyed your concerns properly, you might have learned that perhaps there was another option, or perhaps there wasn't. In the latter case, it's irrelevant whether or not you like trains because the train would be the only feasible way to return.

You might reason that you walked there so you and your family could have easily walked back, but you must take into account the physical state of the other individuals in your party, and the area in which you would have been walking. Washington D.C. has a high murder rate and your father's choice to take the train, rather than walk a great distance at night, was likely the better option.

While you might not like public transportation, if you are unable to gain better control over your emotions such that you are fit to drive a car, you will likely be relying on it significantly. For this reason, I suggest you work at desensitizing yourself to noxious stimuli. Understand that conditions you will face when you take public transportation, and prepare yourself for dealing with them.



ChrisP
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09 Aug 2012, 5:30 am

All of what chronos says is of course entirely correct. But I'd still be stressed out by a sudden change of plan like that being sprung on me, and all the careful reasoning through might well go out of the window in my overload. It would have been better if it hadn't been sprung on you as a last minute decision, and if it had been discussed rather than simply being announced.



gc1ceo
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09 Aug 2012, 10:43 am

mp3 player or some other form of distraction perhaps?

I take buses and such all the time but it can still be stressful if an unexpected situation occurs such as not being able to find my money for the fare quickly enough, the driver giving me a bunch of crap all of the sudden, etc. I generally like to bring my ipod with me always if only to calm me down a bit afterwards.



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09 Aug 2012, 11:09 am

I'm so sorry that happened!

I don't like public transportation at all. I've had awful experiences riding buses, and though I usually like trains, I don't like them too crowded, and the one time I rode on the DC metro (on a business trip), I was so overwhelmed by the noise and activity in the station I couldn't even figure out the ticket machine to buy a ticket! I had to have someone help me. I'd rather drive, even in a strange place, than take public transit.



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09 Aug 2012, 11:21 am

I prefer to drive because there's almost never a reason to interact with someone else when you're in your car. I carry ear plugs in my purse all the time and if I have to take public transport I often use them. Music works too, especially since people can see that you've got headphones in and aren't up for a chat, but I find music distracting and annoying.



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09 Aug 2012, 11:48 am

I am unable to drive so I have to take public transport, and anyhow I get free travel on all public transport routes in the whole of London and Greater London (Disabled Freedom Pass scheme).

But I can understand your problem. I am unable to use public transport during rush hour. I have a free taxi service to and from university simply because I had a screaming fit in the middle of Euston Station while trying to get home from uni.

I have had quite a few screaming fits on public transport with crowds and noise.

In fact once I came close to being arrested for assault because I lashed out at someone during a meltdown.

I'm sorry to hear that happened to you.

I am not happy with your dad's response, it was unfair.


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09 Aug 2012, 1:47 pm

I'm very sorry this happened to you, and that no one seemed to listen to you and that your father was not more understanding. :(

I like the idea of bringing an MP3 player/Ipod along to listen to on the occasions when you do have to take public transportation. Something that helps me is to have a favorite small object at hand (or in a pocket or bag or whatever) when I'm out in public. I find it's kinda like the avatars in the movie "Inception" if you've seen that - a small object that still keeps you grounded in your place of origin when you have to move out of your comfort zone (into a dream world, in the case of the movie). Sorry, I hope that's not too confusing. Just having an object to grasp in your pocket or something might help.


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09 Aug 2012, 2:15 pm

Earplugs are good. Stim toys to bring with you are good. Things that reduce your bad sensory input are good and increase your good type of sensory input are good.



Kaelynn
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09 Aug 2012, 11:49 pm

Tuttle wrote:
Earplugs are good. Stim toys to bring with you are good. Things that reduce your bad sensory input are good and increase your good type of sensory input are good.


What would be conitered a stim toy?



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10 Aug 2012, 7:37 am

Kaelynn wrote:
Tuttle wrote:
Earplugs are good. Stim toys to bring with you are good. Things that reduce your bad sensory input are good and increase your good type of sensory input are good.


What would be conitered a stim toy?


Things you can fidget with and have repetitive motion in ways that are good for you. Tangle Jrs are common ones. I carry theraputty with me sometimes (beware of silly putty though, I've given myself an RSI with it). Chewerly - jewelry you can chew on, is for people who chew to stim.



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10 Aug 2012, 8:32 am

With my son we always have things on hand to help calm him in situations like this... his own stash of fave snacks (apricot pieces and tiny teddies, good chewy lollies), stim toys (chewy tube, squishy ball). His ipad and headphones. I'd suggest you work out those things that calm you and are portable and put them together in a bag to take with you everywhere, you never know when you'll need it. Ear plugs? in there... if you are sensitive to smells, something that smells good you like. A fave book, piece of cloth, whatever you like really.
I really feel for you, but can see your dad's need to get you back on the train safely. Many times my son has been mid meltdown and we've had to just try to get him to safety. Let your Dad know how stressful it is for you, ask him to be more understanding in those times, really the last thing you need is him yelling at you and he needs to be more considerate when plans need to change quickly like that. Unfortunately, plans do have to change at the last minute sometimes. :(