Pessimism.

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OK, I really wasn't sure where to post this. Admins feel free to move if it isn't appropriate.

My boyfriend isn't always the most stable personality and has gone through spells of verbal abusiveness in the past, but hasn't ever physically hurt me. (Since he found out about AS he's made an effort to be more patient and understanding.)

What I find really hard to deal with is when he is off on one of his doom and gloom kicks, and I'm wondering if it is at all connected with his blood sugar/diabetes, or symptomatic of something else.

Then all he can talk about is how the world as we know it is going to come apart, and how we had better prepare ourselves for a survivalist situation. He says he knows that this is going to come about, and how nobody ever listens to him. He says how he predicted last year's riots, he predicted the recession, and he can foresee food shortages on the horizon. It's real Biblical end-times type stuff.

Last night there was a story on the news about droughts and crop shortages in Illinois and he got me up out of bed to come and see the pictures on TV. Then he got me to sit while he moaned on and on about how we're going to have to arm ourselves and stash dried food.

Whether or not any of this actually comes to pass, it's very wearing having a prophet of doom for a partner, particularly for an Aspie.

I can't get him to see anyone, not even the local priest. What the hell is wrong with him?

He is depressed about the situation in the world that he is in.
I use to as well make nasty jokes about the world we are living in. Well I guess part of this is true. (People are dying of stress, especially aspies like me)

Sounds like he's on a nasty trip and at least partly believing it.


Can you tell him this is a property of certain Aspies (Is he one as well, that was not clear)
and that he should try to work on it, by for example telling you why he thinks that the world is in danger?
And how that relates to his situation.

Male aspies and female are usually quite different if I am right

When does this happen that he goes on that trip

Hmm.... Sounds like I have to think about this, too.

If he's right, that's worrying.

I had a similar pattern of predictions laid out. When Greece first asked for a bailout, I predicted that it would go bankrupt 'within a few years'. A few years later, economists and even Greek ministers seem to assume a date between August 20 and the end of September. The frightening thing, perhaps, is that my predictions practically always come true, while predictions made by important economists and politicians rarely come true. And my predictions for the future are far from optimistic.

The European Union will come crashing down within the next five years; there will be much more unrest than there is now; the political establishment throughout Europe will be shaken up much more than it has been until now. These predictions are not nearly as bleak as the ones made by your boyfriend, but they follow a parallel pattern that has generally worked in predictions for me - whatever the most depressing realistic prediction is will turn out to be true.

My take on his behavior is that he feels powerless and the belief that he is one of the few who knows what's really going on gives him a sense of understanding and control over his life.

His claim that he has accurately predicted various terrible events sounds much like how psychics get away with "reading" people. A person can make vague, gloom and doom comments, sometimes expanding on what they have heard in the news and then, if months later, things happen to get worse, they remember their predictions as much more specific than what they really thought at the time. It helps give them a feeling that, even if they aren't in control, at least they understand the situation well enough that they will be prepared.

Also, I suspect there is a self-congratulatory aspect to this sort of thing. Much of the appeal of believing in conspiracies is that you can feel you have superior understanding than most people. If gives a sense of strength to those who feel weak and afraid. Unfortunately, the people I have known who have gone in for this kind of thinking tend to be very resistant to suggestions that there might be more positive ways of looking at the world. They build up a collection of negative news and point to it as evidence, completely ignoring or dismissing positive news.

I suspect that if he can be persuaded to take up a hobby or interest that would be within his skill level, he might derive a sense of mastery in that narrow field and thus feel he had a bit more control over things in his own life. If he is overwhelmed by a world that is threatening to him, getting his mind onto things that he might have control over might help him find a more positive view on life.

To my mind this is totally wrong assumption. Not that Greece goes bust, but that the European union will dissolve.
It is just about money games. And money is just some exchange helper (changing your work into something you need).
If the Euro suffers a major problem well then let it be.

Europe is strong enough to deal with that and support within from itself.

A weak Euro is also always a chance to increase competitiveness. Which works probably quite well for the whole Euro region.

State financing is done wrongly, though, and has to be improved if the states don't want to sacrifice their services. Let's hope we are not suffering...

But Europe is much more than only the Euro and together we manage much better than a single country on its own.

Tell your boyfriend to stop watching those shows about 12/21/12 and the "supposed apocalypse" scheduled for that day.

The biggest joke about that date is the idea that chaos and destruction has a "day planner".

This I think is a really interesting aspect, because it affects quite many aspies that have negative impressions of themselves.
I know this too well that I don't see a bright future for me.
But still I don't dismiss positive news. On the contrary I like them and I like people that think positive. But to take the positive things "in" for myself is not the easiest thing for me.
It is easier for me to say something positive about others than about myself.



Same aspect here.

I feel really threatened by stress and unfair competition or not to fit in with that what is expected from me (especially in my job, researcher).
I know that I am bright but I fail with the norm-expectations, numbers and I am awkward
I am sure about that what I am doing is important, but it is quite difficult to understand for others, mostly due to missing understanding of the thing.

Does he have a therapist, psychiatrist or whatever already? Has he talked to him/her about this stuff? However grim the things he is saying are they don't sound *harmful* as such. The world is a pretty messed up place and it is tough to argue with some of it. I do think it is worth mentioning to a professional though. I also think you need to watch for any escalation of this behaviour e.g. any suggestions that he believes that there are specific malign forces which are specifically targeting him, you or the family or anything like that i.e. signs that it is part of a psychosis and not just depression.

Edit: I reread your post. What, specifically, is he saying that is biblical end times stuff? Is he suggesting that the end times are happening right now and that all of the biblical consequences of that are going to be coming right after? Because unless that is an established part of the doctrine of his religion and he has always believed in it then that could be a worrying sign unless, I suppose, it is part of a new religious conversion. But then even a sudden and unexplained religious conversion can be a mental health red flag.

Basically he is worrying about something very unlikely to happen. An extreme version would be doing something like reinforcing the roof in case a meteor hits.

So my guess is that his problem is related to excessive worrying/anxiety.

If you can't talk some sense into him, then him seeing a mental health professional is the next step. But you know the saying about leading a horse to water.

P.S. I had anxiety disorder. Took a long time to figure out what was wrong and then see someone about it, and then to get the right med. But since finding a med that worked, I don't get those overboard worries anymore and life distinctly improved and for me and my family.

Thanks for all the replies.

BF has both Aspie and NT traits, according to aspie-quiz. He's been a Christian since he was a little boy, so no sudden conversion there. He's an unemployed musician who spends his days practising his instruments and repairing/hot-rodding music gear. There are many people who have asked him why he isn't famous or writing/playing for some established artist as he's so accomplished, but he isn't in the best of physical health and I wonder what the likelihood is of a fat guy in his late 50's being signed up by some major label. If he does have a "special interest", music would be it.

We're both anti-drugs, and there are very few people BF would open up to. He wants me to be his counsellor and confidante, and I'm making a pig's ear of it.

There is a saying to the effect of 'their is wisedom in the counsel of many'. He will probably know it. You have done your part, so now perhaps suggest he get other peoples opinion (professional). If he hears it from others too it might sink in.

He sounds very paranoid. That's the only way to put it. He needs some kind of help, or he'll drive himself and the people around him up the wall.

Ever seen Bug? It's a bit like that, but on a less extreme level.