Lying with an ASD
I didn't even really think about this until you pointed it out, but, yes, I've done this. I think it's a processing thing - I can't process what's going on fast enough, so I end up with this prompt: "You need to say something." I have nothing to say, and in desperation, whatever seems to fit will just spin out to fill that gap and help me keep from getting backlogged any further.
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AQ Test = 44 Aspie Quiz = 169 Aspie 33 NT EQ / SQ-R = Extreme Systematising
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Not all those who wander are lost.
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In the country of the blind, the one eyed man - would be diagnosed with a psychological disorder
I lie a lot to avoid annoying people who I can't stand up to, due to my passive nature. I've gotten into a habit of lying to get out of hanging out with people I don't like. With other lies, I tend to start grinning after a while. I didn't used to be able to lie well until a few years ago.
Another thing I'd like to point out, is that I can't lie to, or hide things from, people I truly like, or my close friends. I tend to just spout things out to them a lot of the time.
Guppy
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Joined: 31 Jul 2012
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I think I lie significantly less than most others do.
What I say is generally at least technically true. If I attempted to lie without rehearsing and coming up with answers for any potential challenges I'd be easily discovered.
But I can also give significant consideration to details of situations, and if given a short amount of time to prepare to lie I think I can do so more believably than most people, because I can come up with a convincing backstory to the lie(assuming that it doesn't involve being significantly social).
I am an absolutely terrible liar. I can lie, but it makes me feel terrible. I have taught myself how to shade the truth though, so that what I am saying is true now, but only answers the letter of the question I am being asked, rather than the intended meaning. The fact that I am often slow to process questions anyway helps me do this convincingly, and I have only been caught in one of these half-truths once.
However, I greatly prefer truth, and only tell lies or half-truths when I am the only person who can be harmed in any way by the telling, or when I am protecting someone else. Therefore, in most aspects of my life, I am extremely honest. For me, honesty is infinitely easier than dishonesty.
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Life is a long series of juxtapositions, ironies, and paradoxes.
I can lie and make elaborate stories with a "deadpan" (neutral) facial expression or position. Not that I -like- or -prefer- to do that.........
"Bending the truth" is fun (i.e. putting down "engaging on flamewars on forums" as "creative debate and constructive discussion with people from different cultures on an international online medium" or something on a resume =P)
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i can lie as easily as i can tell the truth; actually, telling a lie is easier for me, as it is a retelling of a story you have prepared, as opposed to all the on-the-spot thought that occurs while telling the truth.
this doesn't mean that i like to lie, i tell the truth as often as possible, but i have mastered the art of the 'white lie' and 'bending the truth', both mainly as a method of appearing less weird then i am, telling small lies and excuses for my behaviour and increaded perception, so i'm not seen as a freak (by more narrow-minded people)
also, becouse my bodylanguage appears bland and neutral accross the board, there is almost no way of discerning whether i lie or not, except if you happen ot know the true story (telltale signs like nervusness and avoiding eye-contact are also typical of me in any social situation, so those methods fail)
i think the idea that aspies cannot lie is due to a few things.
firstly, i dont like lieing, i always feel bad for days afterwards (if it's a big one); brutally honest is my opinion of choice.
secondly, my bodylanguage doesn't change if i lie, tell the truth, tell a joke or strongly tate my words.
thirdly, i am able to recall the lies i told for years, far beyond any NT would, allowing me to stick to my story.
if these three points are as common among other aspies as i think they are, then those might explain the misconception
I didn't even really think about this until you pointed it out, but, yes, I've done this. I think it's a processing thing - I can't process what's going on fast enough, so I end up with this prompt: "You need to say something." I have nothing to say, and in desperation, whatever seems to fit will just spin out to fill that gap and help me keep from getting backlogged any further.
I wish conversations didn't happen so fast. I could prevent that kind of thing if only I had time to think.
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I wish conversations didn't happen so fast. I could prevent that kind of thing if only I had time to think.
I agree.
It gets even more "interesting" with me, since, as a writer, I have a highly active imagination. Which means what my mind tosses out on the fly is sometimes... well, interesting.
_________________
AQ Test = 44 Aspie Quiz = 169 Aspie 33 NT EQ / SQ-R = Extreme Systematising
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Not all those who wander are lost.
===================
In the country of the blind, the one eyed man - would be diagnosed with a psychological disorder
I can't lie. I can act fine - I'm doing it professionally - but it's not the same as lying, which is intentionally misleading someone else, being dishonest. I simply can't lie. I tend to say what I think, the way I'm thinking it, and when I'me thinking it. I've learned to delay the "when" part when it's really inappropriate, but it's still difficult when I'm asked a direct question straight into my face.
I understand that there are such thing as "white lies", and that lying in these circumstances would be a nice social skill to have... Maybe in another life.
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