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ping-machine
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14 Aug 2012, 8:22 pm

Hi guys. Sorry to be a bother. I'm looking for some help on a project I'm doing for "Creative Non Fiction" at uni. on the use of facebook, forums and other social online media by people with ASD. I understand if you do not wish to respond -- time is precious and all that. However I would be absolutely thrilled and grateful for anyone who does. (On this thread or by PM ~ both are fine.)

The main questions are: How does your social experience online differ from that in the real world? Has it helped you to connect with people? Also would you recommend the use of social media as an alternative means of communication? ~ very general. Really, write what you like. And it can be as detailed or simple as you want it to be. Thanks heaps in advance. From Ash.

ps. If you just want to respond to the question out of interest, but do not want me to use what you say, let me know. Also, there's a chance that I could post the finished article as a blog on this site, if you want me to.


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outofplace
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15 Aug 2012, 12:18 am

I gave up on social media a few years ago. It seemed that no one gave a darn about me online and so I saw no reason to post all of that juicy data about me just so that it could be mined and sold by some algorithm. The only social media I use now is WP and a few blogs I comment on like "Bring a Trailer". I used to post to other automotive sites but my narrow minded, obsessive love of cheap, small cars (like my current Geo Metro fetish) made me very unpopular. I guess they thought I was trolling because I don't find the biggest, flashiest and fastest cars all that interesting anymore. Plus, I tended to be too self-referential and use too many parenthetical phrases, just like any true aspie would! :lol: At BaT, my knowledge of quirky cars is respected so long as I tone it down a bit, so I still post there. Sadly, the other sites tended to be more about social climbing than anything so that is probably why I didn't fit in.

My experience in real life is similar. I am usually tolerated but never considered part of the group. I tend to go on and on for way too long on a subject and give lectures when I do not realize I am doing so. Thus, even with people who like similar things I still can't seem to make any connections. It's a constant struggle for me both in the online world and in real life to be able to communicate effectively without boring the listener. Even on WP I sometimes feel like I am not wanted but only tolerated.

The social exception to the rules about me generally seems to be people I have known for a while. This is either because they have forgiven me for my aspie tendencies or because I have learned to read them well enough that I can interact more naturally with them.


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Last edited by outofplace on 15 Aug 2012, 12:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

Cogs
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15 Aug 2012, 12:27 am

I'm not interested in social media, I have a FB and G+ account which essentially act as a news stream for the things people/groups who provide updates that I would like to get through FB/G+. I go on each about five minutes every couple of weeks and skim through things to see if there is anything important/interesting. I don't use it for posting etc. WP is the only site I use for making posts and interacting with people in such a way.

I don't really understand the point/purpose or benefits in how other people tend to use such social networking sites, and wouldn't know how to use them in the way people sort of seem expected to (i.e. posting pictures etc.) I think forums are a bit easier as things are grouped by topics, and the individual account is less of a big deal.


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chris5000
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15 Aug 2012, 12:51 am

I have a facebook account that I never use. I got bored one night and kept adding people from suggestions I ended up with 300 or so friends.



Cadawell
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18 Aug 2012, 10:08 am

I follow my sister on twitter; that's the extent of my involvement in social media. I deleted my Facebook account because I never used it. What's the point? If people want to talk to me they can go on Skype or they can email me.

I do, however, have a Livejournal account and keep tabs on LJ communities/users that talk about my interests (generally different fandoms).



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18 Aug 2012, 12:56 pm

I was never able to understand what social media is for. If you see the person, no need for Facebook to communicate with them. And if you don't see them, what do you want to update them about you for? Also, I have different levels of disclosure with different people - boss, family, friends - so I never understood how people can write one message for everyone they know, from closest to just barely acquaintances they haven't seen in years and probably will never see again.


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antifeministfrills
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18 Aug 2012, 3:35 pm

Moondust wrote:
I was never able to understand what social media is for. If you see the person, no need for Facebook to communicate with them. And if you don't see them, what do you want to update them about you for? Also, I have different levels of disclosure with different people - boss, family, friends - so I never understood how people can write one message for everyone they know, from closest to just barely acquaintances they haven't seen in years and probably will never see again.


Not sure if you wanted an explanation, but Facebook is useful if you have friends who you've met online or who used to live nearby but have moved too far away for you to be able to see them much or at all. And sometimes you might not feel like seeing a person IRL/be unable to, but still want to send them a picture or a link or just tell them something.



Moondust
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18 Aug 2012, 3:40 pm

Isn't that what email is for? And if you want to talk to the person you can skype for free, video included... I still don't see the added value of social media... The only thing that comes to mind is a modern game of popularity, where people collect profiles to compete on who has more "friends" and "likes".


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nrau
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18 Aug 2012, 4:29 pm

Moondust wrote:
Isn't that what email is for? And if you want to talk to the person you can skype for free, video included... I still don't see the added value of social media... The only thing that comes to mind is a modern game of popularity, where people collect profiles to compete on who has more "friends" and "likes".



This and also, the irresistible urge to expose yourself to everyone.



unseenu
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18 Aug 2012, 5:18 pm

When the Facebook craze started several years ago I swore that they would never get me,so far so good.



ping-machine
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18 Aug 2012, 10:15 pm

antifeministfrills wrote:
Moondust wrote:
I was never able to understand what social media is for. If you see the person, no need for Facebook to communicate with them. And if you don't see them, what do you want to update them about you for? Also, I have different levels of disclosure with different people - boss, family, friends - so I never understood how people can write one message for everyone they know, from closest to just barely acquaintances they haven't seen in years and probably will never see again.


Not sure if you wanted an explanation, but Facebook is useful if you have friends who you've met online or who used to live nearby but have moved too far away for you to be able to see them much or at all. And sometimes you might not feel like seeing a person IRL/be unable to, but still want to send them a picture or a link or just tell them something.


That's how I feel about it too -- one of the main reasons I even stayed with Facebook at first. I have cousins I hardly ever see and am absolutely hopeless at keeping in touch with people, so I would have no contact with my extended family without the internet these days! And yes a lot of friends that I have never even met face to face. I feel that I am much more able to express myself through writing or typing so for that reason the internet is a better place for interaction and self-expression for me. It's a more communal mode of interacting, in that respect very different from email.

How about forums like this one, or even chatrooms? Do you feel that a place like wrongplanet enables a better / worse / merely different way of socialising than the real world??


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19 Aug 2012, 1:08 am

This is pretty much the only social networking site I visit (have a facebook page but it took too much time and effort to keep updated, so I dropped it). As for whether it helps me connect with people, it's hard to say, depends on what you mean by "connect" I suppose: I've met some interesting people here, enjoyed a lot of worthwhile conversations, but I haven't really made any friends, online or in the real world, because of this site. I will say however, if it helps, that this place has made me feel like part of a community, part of a place where I can be understood by like-minded people for the first time, and that has been tremendously valuable to me. My experiences with online communication differ greatly from those in the real world; for one thing, I don't have to muddle through confusing, boring, complicated small-talk, or keep up a two-way conversation with someone who may or may not be interested in what I want to say. I greatly prefer online to live communication because I get to talk about the things that interest me, there's no face-to-face contact, so no confusing facial expressions to interpret, and writing it all out gives me time to think about what I want to say and how I want to say it, enabling me to get my point across more eloquently than I would while speaking. Given all its benefits, I certainly recommend social networking as an alternate method of communication, though it mustn't be used as a shield to say mean things about people, as I've so often seen happen, nor should it be used exclusively, especially by those with social phobia, because if it is, the afflicted person will never learn to overcome his fear and get better at socialising. I suppose for people like us, who can have trouble communicating face to face with people, chatrooms are a little like training wheels on a bike; they give us the experience of social interaction while removing the risk of failure, but also (in some peoples' opinion) a little of the fun as well. Social networking is a good place to get practise at talking to people, but shouldn't be used to the detriment of someone's real social skills (and this is coming from someone with lifelong social phobia!)
At any rate, sorry I went on for so long, hope this was what you needed for your project, and good luck with it!

P.S, Outofplace, if it's any consolation, I want you here; you and all the other amazing people on this site make bothering to talk to people feel a little more worthwhile :)


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mrspotatohead
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19 Aug 2012, 2:17 am

outofplace wrote:
Even on WP I sometimes feel like I am not wanted but only tolerated.

For the record, I just read your whole post. And even though I am not really into any sorts of cars, I liked the tone of it. Probably because I can relate.



musicforanna
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19 Aug 2012, 4:24 am

I do use social media, but, each for different groups of people from various places/forums.

I'd probably say my favorite social network is Twitter. I keep in touch with people on twitter from the forums dedicated to my favorite musicians.

G+ I used to stay in touch and video chat with people who share one of my hobbies, who are on another forum.

Facebook I only store people I went to school with on there. Other than checking in and making comments here and there, I usually ignore facebook. Facebook was better in 2006 when it was mostly intelligent college students were on there with group discussions, and not everyone young teenaged, brainrot games and their grandma.

Tumblr I only used to keep a blog related to one of my favorite games, with most of my visitors coming from a forum I go to dedicated to that game.



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19 Aug 2012, 6:05 pm

When I was in high school, I did not have any social life, but I knew a few people online through forums, newsgroups, etc. and chatted with them using AIM and IRC. More recently, I have been involved in a lot more activities in real life, including clubs, societies, etc. These days I know more people in real life, and sites like Facebook are mostly an extension of that (I don't have "online only" friends these days). \

I use Facebook fairly regularly - I have almost 150 friends, but I am selective over who I add. If it's someone I've never met in real life, I am less likely to add them as a friend. I don't posts often - I will only post updates when I have something to post that might be of interest to others, such as a new set of photos or a major event - I will not post about what I had for breakfast, because nobody needs to know and most likely nobody cares. Nor do I "share" posts just for the sake of sharing (It annoys me, so I'm sure it annoys others)

I have a Google Plus account, but there's nobody on there, and had a Twitter account, but it got hacked (by some spammers) and I decided that it was not worth keeping around. During the MySpace era, I created an account on there because everyone else had one at the time - I could probably count the number of times I logged into that on one hand.


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Jtuk
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19 Aug 2012, 6:21 pm

I use Facebook and Twitter. I have around 100 friends on Facebook, most of these are former work colleagues and acquaintances. I only really use it to post photos so that my family can see what I'm up to. I'm also like to look at what people are up to. I don't post any status updates or really interact with anyone, with the odd exception of using the messaging feature to make arrangements or deal with practical stuff.

I wish I could turn the chat function off as family members keep wanting to chat, I just hurriedly hit the X button and make it go away.

>How does your social experience online differ from that in the real world?

Not so different. It would be exceptional for me to initiate social contact with friends / family. Facebook is no different.

>Has it helped you to connect with people?

Not really, if anything it has harmed. As I look, but don't interact, I have even less incentive to have a conversation. As I know what people are doing, I have no desire to find out.

>Also would you recommend the use of social media as an alternative means of communication?

It's worth a try, it's a useful way to keep in contact with people as a replacement for e-mail.

Oh one more thing, despite not being that into social networking, I do manage quite a bit of my employers social networking presence. So as ever I'm providing a communications tool, even though I personally have terrible communication skills.

Jason.