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shyguy2012
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16 Aug 2012, 8:27 am

Greetings,

I am so confused. I have been friends with a girl for over year now. Me and her started to txt each other we get alone really well together. Here's where it went wrong. We was flirting by text and she was really drunk and she wanted someone to come over to a party and cuddle with her. I told here that I like her to much to do that and I didn't want to ruin the friendship. "Yes I played the Nice Guy card." That's where the story went south. I get a text from her and she tells me that I am a great close friend and she couldn't date me.



Signed
:? confused.


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Mike_Garrick
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16 Aug 2012, 8:41 am

Either
She's been dropping hints that your not picking up and she's given up on you.
Or if the text came right back, shes still drunk and now also mad.
If its the 2nd and you want to be romantic with her then apologies TOMORROW and ask her if she still wants to cuddle.

I can't give you any advice past that point.



shyguy2012
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16 Aug 2012, 8:56 am

I will take that into mind. Right after I sent her the nice guy text she wrote back You're Awesome.



Mike_Garrick
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16 Aug 2012, 8:58 am

Eh, no clue. Good luck, your further then I get.



pastafarian
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16 Aug 2012, 11:22 am

shyguy2012 wrote:
Greetings,

I am so confused. I have been friends with a girl for over year now. Me and her started to txt each other we get alone really well together. Here's where it went wrong. We was flirting by text and she was really drunk and she wanted someone to come over to a party and cuddle with her. I told here that I like her to much to do that and I didn't want to ruin the friendship. "Yes I played the Nice Guy card." That's where the story went south. I get a text from her and she tells me that I am a great close friend and she couldn't date me.



Signed
:? confused.


She's confused and embarassed. She thinks you're awesome cos you did the right thing.
But its a little bit hard to take with her pride intact. She's embarassed cos she lost her cool when drunk. She must fancy you else she wouldn't have sent the drunken cuddle text. But everything is still possible, only she can tell you. She is either:

1) not ready to let you know she fancies you (whilst sober) - she wants you to chase her, so she is embarassed she has been so explicit

or

2) she is worried you dont fancy her back and you just want to be pals, given you resisted her so gentlemanly-like. When drunk she'd hoped you'd have hotfooted it over there and couldn't resist her (this one is complicated you dont win either way). Long term she thinks your awesome but her ego might be a little sore, she not as irriistable as she'd hoped.

or

3) she really did only want sex/cuddling at that point, when drunk. She now thinks she has made a bit of a fool of herself and is worried about protecting your friendship,

The only person who can tell you is her. Tell her it was a real struggle not to go, cos she is unbelievably sexy, but you'd only go if she ever fancied you when she is stone cold sober.



shyguy2012
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16 Aug 2012, 12:58 pm

I am thinking what I should do is to disconnect for a couple of days " Hide out". Let her pride heal for couple of days. I tend to play the nice guy but it tends to bit me in the ass. Trust me I thought going to meet her.

Clay


pastafarian wrote:
shyguy2012 wrote:
Greetings,

I am so confused. I have been friends with a girl for over year now. Me and her started to txt each other we get alone really well together. Here's where it went wrong. We was flirting by text and she was really drunk and she wanted someone to come over to a party and cuddle with her. I told here that I like her to much to do that and I didn't want to ruin the friendship. "Yes I played the Nice Guy card." That's where the story went south. I get a text from her and she tells me that I am a great close friend and she couldn't date me.



Signed
:? confused.


She's confused and embarassed. She thinks you're awesome cos you did the right thing.
But its a little bit hard to take with her pride intact. She's embarassed cos she lost her cool when drunk. She must fancy you else she wouldn't have sent the drunken cuddle text. But everything is still possible, only she can tell you. She is either:

1) not ready to let you know she fancies you (whilst sober) - she wants you to chase her, so she is embarassed she has been so explicit

or

2) she is worried you dont fancy her back and you just want to be pals, given you resisted her so gentlemanly-like. When drunk she'd hoped you'd have hotfooted it over there and couldn't resist her (this one is complicated you dont win either way). Long term she thinks your awesome but her ego might be a little sore, she not as irriistable as she'd hoped.

or

3) she really did only want sex/cuddling at that point, when drunk. She now thinks she has made a bit of a fool of herself and is worried about protecting your friendship,

The only person who can tell you is her. Tell her it was a real struggle not to go, cos she is unbelievably sexy, but you'd only go if she ever fancied you when she is stone cold sober.


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Your Aspie score: 153 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 57 of 200


MacDragard
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18 Aug 2012, 10:53 am

You set the frame for being just a friend, and when you say things like "I don't want to ruin our friendship", then she's going to think of you as nothing more than a friend. If you want a romantic relationship with her, you need to lead it into one.



OliveOilMom
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18 Aug 2012, 10:59 am

She was drunk. Pretend it didn't happen. If she does it again sober or half drunk then she means it. But really drunk, it usually doesn't mean anything. The redneck mating call is "Ya'll I'm drunk!" afterall. ;-)


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