Trouble putting some feelings into words

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lady_katie
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24 Aug 2012, 6:41 am

Is this an Aspergers trait? Like right now, I woke up feeling so much today, and I have the general idea that it has to do with being stressed out, overwhelmed and isolated...but I'm not sure exactly *what* this bad feeling is.

At other times, however, I can articulate my feelings in great detail. I think that if I tried to explain to my therapist that I'm having trouble putting my feelings into words, she wouldn't believe me, because I'm often so good at it.

Anyway, I was just wondering if this is an Aspergers trait? Or maybe sometimes I just have brain farts ;)



StuartN
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24 Aug 2012, 7:50 am

lady_katie wrote:
Is this an Aspergers trait? Like right now, I woke up feeling so much today, and I have the general idea that it has to do with being stressed out, overwhelmed and isolated...but I'm not sure exactly *what* this bad feeling is.


Yes, alexithymia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexithymia) is a feature affecting about half of all people with AS. It means "not having words for feelings". It will vary with stress and alertness.

There is evidence that alexithymics also experience physical symptoms when emotions are difficult to process or identify.



lady_katie
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24 Aug 2012, 8:15 am

StuartN wrote:
lady_katie wrote:
Is this an Aspergers trait? Like right now, I woke up feeling so much today, and I have the general idea that it has to do with being stressed out, overwhelmed and isolated...but I'm not sure exactly *what* this bad feeling is.


Yes, alexithymia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexithymia) is a feature affecting about half of all people with AS. It means "not having words for feelings". It will vary with stress and alertness.

There is evidence that alexithymics also experience physical symptoms when emotions are difficult to process or identify.


Oh, something tells me that this was something that everyone else knew about! Thanks for informing me :)



lady_katie
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24 Aug 2012, 9:19 am

I just read the Wikipedia article and it was tremendously helpful! We're fairly certain that my husband suffers from dependent personality disorder as well as AS - and Wikipedia stated that "alexithymia creates interpersonal problems because these individuals avoid emotionally close relationships, or if they do form relationships with others they tend to position themselves as either dependent, dominant, or impersonal, "such that the relationship remains superficial".[22] Inadequate "differentiation" between self and others by alexithymic individuals has been observed" I'm certain that my husband has issues with Alexithymia as well, and we've been looking for a link between the dependency issues and the AS - I think this is it!



questor
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24 Aug 2012, 10:16 am

Yes, this applies to me, sometimes, and can be very frustrating.



Bubbles137
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24 Aug 2012, 3:17 pm

lady_katie wrote:
Is this an Aspergers trait? Like right now, I woke up feeling so much today, and I have the general idea that it has to do with being stressed out, overwhelmed and isolated...but I'm not sure exactly *what* this bad feeling is.


I get it all the time and I hate it. I seem to have this constant underlying 'yucky' feeling that I don't know what it is- it's a bit like guilty/nauseous, like I've done something wrong which goes away when I'm busy/active but comes back when I'm panicky or don't have enough structure. I have no idea what it is and it's horrible :(



mljt
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24 Aug 2012, 3:44 pm

This is exactly how I feel, and I asked a similar question when I joined another forum recently. I've been trying to write a list of my "symptoms" of ASD for my doctor, and the problem is I'm never quite sure what I'm feeling. I know if something's a negative or positive feeling most of the time, but I don't know exactly what it is or what's causing it. The best way of describing that experience is like I'm in a sea - there are waves crashing all around me and pieces of paper with feelings and thoughts written on them. Occasionally there's enough calm that I can grab a piece of paper and get an idea what the emotion might be but the writing's all blurred. Usually before I get the answer, another wave comes and I'm back feeling the emotion but not knowing why/what it is. It's like other people I'm trying to explain this to are standing somewhere safe and dry and wondering what I'm on about.

I don't know if that makes any sense, but that's the best way I've found to explain how I experience it.



alexi
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24 Aug 2012, 4:35 pm

My therapist has been trying to get a more clear picture of what I feel Ike day to day, but I can't ever explain it in a way that means anything to her. I know that I feel "bad", but beyond that I am unsure. I know a few things that it is not (depression/anxiety), having experienced those things previously. Like the other person it is a feeling that is just there almost all the time- overwhelm, that I want to cry and scream, escape, that I don't know how to settle myself. I know that it is difficult for me to say that I am ok, and actually mean it. Because I'm not ok.

You don't often hear about people's day to day experience of ASD. More often about specific triggers/issues. I wonder how common this feeling is because it is the most difficult aspect that I need to deal with because it is relentless and unresolvable no matter what I'm doing. And because I can't explain what I am feeling it is difficult for others to accept.



Fiz
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24 Aug 2012, 5:11 pm

This happens to me a lot, particularly when I want to say something nice to someone. I cannot express it and it is really frustrating.


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Rattus
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25 Aug 2012, 2:17 am

Yes and I also have problems working out what physical sensations mean and distinguising emotions and sensations. Until I was unofficially diagnosed with AS, I never knew other people struggled with this and I never knew about the term 'alexithymia'. It makes day to day living quite difficult, therapy has helped a lot though. I am lucky that I have a therapist who happens to be amongst other things trained in sensorimotor and also used to work with people with ASD and their families so we've done a lot of work on working out what those feelings and body sensations are and putting words to them.