How come some people are so lucky?

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I've never been lucky. For a start I was born with AS, whilst everybody around me are NTs (my family, the other kids through school, et cetera). So I never got to have proper friends at school, and I was always an outcast, which I didn't enjoy once. Made me feel like the class idiot.

But I know a girl who is so lucky, in every way (makes me wonder how she hasn't won the lottery yet!) She's attractive, and has all the boys after her (even though she doesn't try that hard to make herself look stunning). She can be rude, sloppy, miserable, lazy, dirty, but is still so popular, and makes friends so easily and keeps them all right too. But not only that, everything seems to fall into place for her. She doesn't even have to try, and things just gets handed to her. Even if things do go wrong for her, something else then happens to make up for it, and she doesn't even have to do anything. She only has to walk into one interview and she gets the job, no matter how many other people go for it. And she doesn't even like working, just wants to doss about and get other people to hand her money when she wants, and people seem to do it without no objection. If that was anyone else behaving like that, they'd be told to get off their lazy arse and go to work, if they want money. She gets her car and it's ensurance paid for by her parents. She gets took away on wonderful holidays with mates, who pay for her. She walks out of jobs and seems to walk straight into another one, and often she knows someone who will give her a job. Everybody loves her, and puts up with her selfishness (where as if that was me being lazy and irresponsible, people would hate me).

Why do some people get it all, while others don't? How come it's taken me 4 years to find work and nobody still won't employ me? How come I don't get took on these exotic holidays, all paid for me? How come more people hate me than like me? Well, I know for a start it's because of my curse I am destined to have all my life, but I don't blame it all on that because not all NTs get this much luck. This girl I know is very lucky, and gives off a wonderful vibe that makes people want to give her jobs, friends, money and God knows what else. And I have to work at it to get all that, and I still don't get anywhere near as much as she gets. Perhaps I try too hard....?

I always asked myself these same questions. I remember when I was young my mother would always say. "You're smart, you'll be a millionaire when you grow up, and all those bullies be pumping gas." Yeah, that prediction wasn't exactly accurate. I've been searching for an answer to this question for years and years and through a compound algorithm, using a combination of planetary calculus and fiscal revenue patterns dating back to the 1880s. I have determined that the secret to these people's success is......they're crab people?......That's not right.

Okay, seriously I don't know. But I suspect for real that it's because confidence isn't easy for depressed people to accumulate. Whereas people who succeed time and time again, probably have confidence in spades. Or they're just really lucky.

I know how you feel. Most of my wretchedness comes from poor choices I've made in life, but what it really comes down to is the lack of people skills that could've got me among a more ambitious group. That way I'd probably have made better choices.

It's hard not to compare yourself with someone who seems to have so much going for them and wonder why them and not you.

I was in a hair show many years ago and there was another girl there who was beautiful, slim, tan, blonde, wearing sexy clothes. I'm plain and dumpy, but I've got good hair. All these men were gathered around her, hanging on her every word. I don't think anyone even saw me. She took out a cigarette and 20 cigarette lighters lit up in her face. She lit her cigarette, and with the most awful, nasal twang said, "Thahnk yew." That made my day.

I knew of two brothers who were exact dichotomies. One was good looking smart, popular, the other not so much. The good looking one got hired anywhere he applied. Whether or not he we qualified or had the necessary paperwork was superfluous because he "looked" the part. He always had girlfriends, a roof over his head, etc. The other one had physical issues with his teeth and face, wasn't always employed, and when he was employed the job was only fair to middling. Well, the gorgeous one lives in Brooklyn and doing fine. His not so lucky brother did meet a girl, get married, and now they have a kid in Texas.

When you're blighted like us, it takes longer. Yes, some of us will never get married and have kids, but you just never know.

Maybe their success feeds off of our failure, balance of the world? Anyway I`m out to break these predicaments.

Don't be so hard on yourself Joe90.
I'd rather get to know someone like yourself than someone who's getting all the attention. That person wouldn't be worth my time or effort regardless of how much luck she has.

I'm behind you there! That confidence fools employers into giving them better jobs they're unqualified for, where we often appear meek and unconvincing. End result? Drooling morons earning twice our salary despite being worthless at their jobs. It's sickening.

I could never imagine what it's like to have the world at your feet. It must be real nice. I wonder how those people feel? Do they wake up every day and say, "Ah yes, word! Here I come! Give me your riches and all the spoils cause I'm one of the beautiful ones!"? Think of how confident you must be. You could back talk the boss to your heart's content and won't get fired. You can talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend like crap because they're proud to have you as their mate. You also know that you don't have to stand in line behind the velvet rope to get into nightclubs. Just not gonna happen. Must be nice.

That's what I always worry about, that people will think I'm either very lucky or think I'm lazy, spoiled and selfish because I have my own apartment and a lot of decent things like this computer, TV, a game console, a sewing machine, enough space one or two other people to live in (I live alone and that's how it's going to stay!) and I don't even have to pay my own rent because community services does it, and in spite of the fact I have no job and finding one I could actually handle in the hick-town I live in is next to impossible, I get a decent amount of money from my parents each month along with the not so decent government check. I don't have a car, can't afford one, can't afford to take care of one and I've never even learned how to drive. Not having a car where I live is hard because I have to walk everywhere or rely on the bus, which is terrible, and cabs are too expensive although I occasionally use them things like going to appointments at the hospital. I wish I could sometimes go and visit my parents myself but they always have to come for me because they live too far away and there is no bus where they live. I feel bad being so dependent on my parents at my age. My brother, on the other hand, finished high school, went to college, got married, has a family and is now living in New Brunswick. He seems determined to become the most educated and refined member of our family and sometimes I feel he thinks we're a bunch of riff-raffs or something. My brother is actually quite shy and introverted most of the time, but he has always had friends and a good social life. I don't recall him ever being bullied or teased about his own unusual interests like I was. Mom and Dad don't worry as much about him as they do me because they don't HAVE to, he's about as perfect as a son can get, although we all really wish he'd come home more often. He hasn't come to visit even once this summer. It's not like he can't see us, he can drive and has a car and everything, he's just TOO busy. Too busy forgetting about us, I guess.

the fact that you have said she is attractive and seems to give off good vibes to people says it all as to why she is lucky. The rest doesn't matter. Of course with the responses you have here, I can tell that you will count your blessings.

Yes, some people are very lucky. At least for some time. Those whose luck lasts forever are the luckiest, because beauty doesn't.

And beauty defers to wealth (precisely because beauty is not as long-lasting or powerful as wealth), so she still has to bite her tongue and lower her head a lot, believe me, especially with those "mates" that pay her lunches.

It could also be that part of her charm is to always look like she has everything going for her, which makes her all the more attractive.

I once knew a woman like that in high school and I befriended her on purpose, to stop envying her. By getting close to her, I could see her grass wasn't as green as I saw it from a distance. A couple things I discovered were that she was surrounded by extremely shallow, insensitive people (because it's the kind of people who will pursue beauty and charm above all and are willing to pay for it), and that she was always desperate for new clothes because she had to be seen in good clothes with those people who were around her and the places they went to. They expected her to always look good. She had to make ridiculous efforts and things to get hold of nice clothes (even befriend women she didn't like, just to borrow their clothes for an evening out, so she could vary her apparel). She also had to always go dancing, drinking and shallow stuff like that, because that's what the kind of following this woman attracted are interested in.

I know how you feel, my younger half sister's life seems amazing in almost everyway. She's smart, beautiful, has many friends, can socialize really well, and my step mom spoils her and gave her all the attention in the world since a little kid. Since she was a baby she used to always do fun things, she always had friend and would go to birthday parties every week. She is now in college happier then ever making great grades. ect ect.

My brother seems to have much better luck than I. Since he is so book-smart (in other words, sky high marks) he had employers fighting over him even though as a worker he's has very lazy habits, never got bullied because he's a joker, had a long string of girls chasing him (and married a %@$%), has more 'play' money than I make it a year, wins every time at the casino and never has to work for anything. Even though I told him about Aspergers he simply has no idea how difficult it is to communicate effectively.

My brother works in Alberta in a company that hires only highly skilled workers. He told me (and for once I believe him) that about 50% of the middle management is absolutely, positively 100% useless and are only there because they know how to fool people and pass the buck. They literally know nothing in their jobs and have no proper qualifications. Oh well, I might appear meek and unconvincing but where I work my work ethic is now well known. It took a while, but I'm now one of the most popular people at my workplace because I don't BS around and everyone knows I am Mr. Reliable. I should be making at least double what I do based on my skills but my 'meek' nature keeps me from moving elsewhere.

I almost forgot to add: I know someone who is a multimillionaire and along with my very well off brother, they are two of the most frequently depressed people I know. Remember money does not necessarily equal success!

Sweet Pea hugs

I know this all too well. One thing I have learned in life, it's not what you know or how qualified you are, it's who you know and the ability to network. It's all about social skills and schoomizng(sp?) with people. So... that locks me out.

For example, a former co-worker of mine who is now one of the my boss's, was lazy as hell as a worker. The first hour he would just go around and talk to people, one guy used to call him the ambassador. As a supervisor, he doesn't do jack s--t but he's got his own group of little friends that " can do no wrong"(part sarcastic but part true). It's maddening to watch.

Thing is, despite how useless he was as a co-worker, he knows how to suck up and it got him a promotion. Where I work, there is a high value on blind obedience and you can guess how that can be for someone on the spectrum. Which comes to me, who despite my strong work ethic and reliability, which is respected, personally I'm not that well liked. I got in some minor hot water once for calling a boss out on there BS. Plus, people view me as moody and a tad temperamental.

So yeah no promotion for me and honestly, even if it was offered I don't think I could handle it due to my poor people skills.