Do you feel angry or sorry for yourself about having an ASD?

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Some questions:

How much resentment do you hold towards being different and probably having to walk a more difficult and personal path in life?

Do you worry that you might be using ASD as a convenient excuse to accept a victim's status in life and shortchanging yourself in the process?

How exactly do you feel about having an ASD and being different?

I am mad that I found out too late and missed out on a lot of things an experiences that now I am too old and too far behind everyone else in life-I think people accuse me of using it as an excuse-I cannot hide myself and I am always feeling like I am being punished for something I had no control over and no matter how hard you try you are going to be picked up on as having something different about you-I won't hide myself anymore and I will still be punished even by others on the spectrum-I want a little more understanding and that I was dealt this hand and doing what I can.

I have numerous problems, autism is only one of them.

I'm not angry or resentful over having AS, because no one is to blame for it. It's just the way that I was born. I do, however, frequently engage in self-pity, though it is not just about AS, but also about my other mental illnesses, they way I've been treated in life, the fact that others misunderstand me and I don't even understand myself, etc.

Only when things aren't going my way. When I'm sad or depressed or angry, the AS really sucks. When I'm happy, the AS is as great as it is bad when I'm not happy. So it's worth it...as long as everything is good.

What Mindslave said.

None. I don't resent myself.



I don't even trust people who say things like "using ASD as a convenient excuse" and "accepting victim status" or "playing the victim." No, I don't worry about that.



I feel fine.

I used to hate myself, hate the whole "being autistic" thing. Used to throw pity-parties for myself thinking of all the ways my life sucked, how my many problems (Asperger's only one part of it) were to blame for everything. Over the years I've been through therapy, been on meds, been able to look at the positives and focus on what I can do instead of can't.

I feel A-OK about being autistic, yep yep yep.

How does being autistic make me a victim?

I've been a victim of abuse and prejudice and similar things, but a "victim of autism"... uhh... no. No, autism isn't something you can be a victim of. It's part of the way I'm made.

I look at it this way-I'm different. No shame, resentment, anger, or any of that. It is what it is.
There are ways to blend and cope.
Maybe it's because I went through the first 24 years of my life knowing I was different but didn't know in what way.
I was never told I was disabled or that I couldn't do anything. I've been accused of being rude, lazy, angry,
anti social, stubborn, arrogant, shy, etc. But no one ever once told me I couldn't do anything.
I forced myself out of my comfort zone many times. It's amazing what you can do when you don't believe you are
limited in any way.
Sometimes I think a diagnosis can be more of a self fulfilling prophecy.
So in a way I am glad I was diagnosed as an adult.

Personally it's actually been a relief to be diagnosed to know there's a name for my awkwardness
and social shortcomings.
But on the the main question, I never feel resentment for having AS.
I've accepted myself. My differences don't make me any less of a human being
worthy of love and respect. Like Temple Grandin quoted, "Different, not less".

I wish all the negativity and self loathing on these boards will slowly diminish.
It's sad to see so many intelligent and kind people hate themselves so much.

Angry. Very angry. I hate how it takes me seemingly 10x the amount of effort it takes normal people to do about anything, except apparently having the ability to type paragraphs of crap easily and not call people "bro" makes me a damned genius. Nevermind I couldn't tie my shoes until like 4th grade...

I feel broken, that's the only way I can *logically* see it. It is brain damage, scientifically, no more, no less. 130 verbal IQ, 80 nonverbal. I'm half ret*d. Yes, half a genius, but it's not helpful when you're half ret*d.

So I wish I could just think things were all a result of the evil NT world not understanding me or whatever, but I feel the problem is...me. My brain being for all intents and purposes broken.

I'm not really angry about possibly having it. However, I am irritated that I am not able to say with certainty that it explains why I am the way I am. I also would have liked to have known earlier in life as knowing would have helped me know what I do wrong. I could then have adapted to it earlier and possibly have had a better time of it socially and perhaps maybe even had a romantic relationship or two.

I do not really feel angry, I just feel upset when I have blunders or realize I have done somthing terribly wrong really, but I think that would apply to NTs as well.

I don't hold any resentment for being on the Autism Spectrum. I have a much better understanding now about us with Aspergers. But, before I was diagnosed again and even sometime after, I just couldn't accept certain Aspie traits because some people were acting like they were habits of NTs. I was planning to see a psychiatrist until it all came together and I was able to accept everyone of my Aspie traits.




I don't use my disorder as an excuse, but as positive reinforcement, pointing out mine as well as others, talents, skills and gifts.




Now that I have totally accepted being on the Autism Spectrum, I wouldn't have it any other way even if I could.

I feel angry with other people imposing their one-size-fit-for-all ideas of the spectrum on me.

As an autistic person with a high IQ and the ability to talk fine under certain circumstances, I cannot possibly have impairments such as... I cannot possibly experience difficulties such as... I cannot possibly be unable to do... Just like that, it's that being an autistic person with a high IQ, I totally must be able to... I must experience difficulties such as... no matter how many times I point out and prove what I can and can't do.

Some people are wrong about this a lot, denying parts of me based on what they think someone like me should be like, denying some of my impairments but also denying some of my strengths. (If anything, that' a way to victimise someone. Pretending they're what they're not and denying that they are who they are. Not exclusive to autism though, it happens a lot to people everyday.)

Anyway, that upsets me. Not being different - because everyone is different.

I don't know what I'd be like if I wasn't me and I can't wish for something that I can't picture. The words "being normal" are too abstract to mean something to me (because all normal people I've met in my life were all quite different, funky, odd and experienced numerous difficulties and happy moments every day just like me, theirs were just not as huge usually).

I guess I could wish for having less significant everyday problems (in order to be "normal") but I'm not sure what I'd have to be like in order for me to have less... of me. (What is "I" anyway?) Good thing my head can't crack into two from being confronted with something that I can't picture.

I can instantly create a mental scene of a bread-baking green-feathered Mr. duck with a white chef's hat on his head and a plate full of chocolate cookies in his wing-ish hands who greets me with a welcoming Quack to offer me cookies. If I try to imagine what it would be like or what I'd have to change into, I get nothingness.

It's not as if I don't get angry and frustrated about my limitations when those interfere with what I absolutely want to do (I want to find a way, always) but I don't angry about being autistic because of some wishful dream of what I want to be like and what kind of life I want to live.