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atdevel
Pileated woodpecker
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07 Sep 2012, 11:40 am

I'm 19. Never been hugged. What can I do about it?



wtfid2
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07 Sep 2012, 11:56 am

atdevel wrote:
I'm 19. Never been hugged. What can I do about it?
cry loneliness :( depressing =\


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Prof_Pretorius
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07 Sep 2012, 11:57 am

Do you mean by your parents?
Or by a member of the opposite sex?
Or by anyone ever?


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wtfid2
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07 Sep 2012, 12:03 pm

Prof_Pretorius wrote:
Do you mean by your parents?
Or by a member of the opposite sex?
Or by anyone ever?
lol im sure he means girls.


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Magnus_Rex
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07 Sep 2012, 12:05 pm

I do not like hugs. Very awkward.


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atdevel
Pileated woodpecker
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07 Sep 2012, 12:08 pm

Prof_Pretorius wrote:
Do you mean by your parents?
Or by a member of the opposite sex?
Or by anyone ever?


Well only my mom. I guess that's better than nothing. Research shows, however, that constant touching is important for emotional health. Touching is seen as dirty outside of loved ones here in America, but at the same time, it's okay to touch pets for some reason...



GiantHockeyFan
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07 Sep 2012, 12:22 pm

atdevel wrote:
Well only my mom. I guess that's better than nothing. Research shows, however, that constant touching is important for emotional health. Touching is seen as dirty outside of loved ones here in America, but at the same time, it's okay to touch pets for some reason...


I've only ever been hugged a few times by a girl and the last one actually asked permission first so she must understand me quite well despite being significantly younger than me. Every time I've initiated the other person clearly wasn't comfortable so I don't bother anymore. On the other hand, children give me hugs literally all the time, even ones that don't know me. People have told me that a man getting hugs from children is inappropriate but for women it's completely fine even though I disliked being touched and I'm always the (usually involuntary) recipient. For crying out loud what I am supposed to do, push them away? Humans are sillier by the minute!

Of course, Dogs and Cats usually jump all over me the first opportunity they get to. I wonder if they all don't pick up on my genuine nature the way adults apparently can't? I personally only like hugs from someone I love and trust and I can't think of too many people that can meet that criteria at the present time.



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07 Sep 2012, 2:37 pm

I won't say I don't like hugs. I just don't get a lot of practice, though I have heard I give the best hugs. I am very aware of people touching me, and so unless I want to share emotions, I don't want to hug. It may sound mean, but I tolerate it from relatives. I have enjoyed a few hugs with girls in the past. I think I would like to be hugged more.

The advice I would give is that when girls are all doing goodbye hugs, join in. Start of when it's small groups, and do it sporadically, but persist. Eventually, they won't even think of including you, it will be natural. Simply open your arms when saying hello or goodbye to them and they will assume you want a hug. Most of the time they will give you one. Remember, 3 seconds (standard seconds, not Mississippi seconds) is the correct length for a social hug. You should be letting go at the 3, or when you feel them pull away. Usually greetings hugs are shorter - basically just a 1 second embrace.