Dealing with those who don't believe you have AS

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How do you cope with/deal with people who tell you that they don't think you have AS? Someone said to me that she knows several people with it and I am not like them (at least in her opinion). Another woman told me she hasn't noticed I have social difficulties and therefore she doesn't think I have it. I know this second woman from the writing group local mental health centre so she hasn't seen me in a social situation where I am more unsure of myself.
Is it normal to be able to pass for non AS? It always surprises me when others see me as almost the opposite of the way I really am. Over the years I have learned to hide my extreme anxiety as it annoys and irritates people and I have learned often to hide it when I feel hurt about something so that I don't get called too sensitive. I have learned to make small talk though can do it in some situations and with some people better than with others. But it is exhausting when in some ways I would love just to fall apart and still be accepted.

Get a note from the person who diagnosed you. Next time you see said person, wave it at them.

Just don't care.

If a person strongly believes that you don't have it, you usually can't convince them, even with a note from your doctor.
Some will change their mind and some wouln't.
Own experience.

Why should it be important what other people think anyway?

I even don't tell most people.
Because I really don't care anymore and I even don't like it that much if they make me to someone "speciall" or whatever.

This is one reason people are wrong who say there's no point in getting an official AS diagnosis.

Depends on context. If it appears to be meant as a compliment(however ill considered), then take it in stride and be gracious.

If they're genuinely trying to disparage your diagnosis, then defend yourself and it. Ask them to please stop invalidating you and the struggles you endure.

Suunny 55

it sounds like you are working hard to improve and hide your anxiety - in a way it's a compliment to your efforts when they say what they say

I think most have a mind set as to what AS / ASD is and those of us who don't meet it, they think we're lying.

I've been told by people I don't have it. Strangely enough, (or not) these people do not actually know me.

If you really care about other people's point of view, carry a copy of your diagnosis in your wallet and if anyone doubts you have AS, just prove it. Anyway, what's the point of discussing this fact with any irrelevant people, i wonder?

I find this very annoying, especially since it comes from people who have a very small, or non-existent, knowledge base on the subject. I have had several people be utterly dismissive when I told them. They did not ask a single question about why I have come to this well-researched conclusion about myself. They showed no curiosity about it and seemed to assume their tiny speck of mis-information encompases the whole of truth on the subject. I attribute this to the disorder of neurotypical brain wiring. Many NTs are not curious or interested about new information. I think it frightens them. Unless it comes from someone they consider an "authority". Then they will change their tune on a dime. They are often driven by a herd instinct and do not know how to evaluate information on their own, poor wretches.

Another flaw in the neuro-typical brain wiring diagram is that they are plagued by a desire to be cruel. Even if they know you are right, they will act like you are wrong just to mess with your head, something I don't think those of us on the spectrum would ever do.

Thank you all for your replies.
Emptyeye-I agree with you that other people on the spectrum are ok with my diagnosis. It was on the suggestion of two of them that I went for the assessment in the first place as they saw AS in me. The people who have not believed me are not autistic themselves.
Whirlingmind-I remember the autism specialist nurse said to me that all of us (autistic people) are different from each other so maybe I will quote what you said to them. Do you put on a front all the time as well? Sometimes I think I deserve an oscar.
PTSmorrow-the lady who was most dismissive goes to the writing group at the mental health centre which is also meant to be a support group, so I thought that she was a 'safe' person to tell, especially as two others in the group have AS. I thought that It would be an accepting enivronment.
Koi-I hadn't realised that there are healthy coping mechanisms available to us. I have always thought that the only alternatives were either to be myself and be slammed down and criticised or to hide a large part of myself. Yes, I do feel invalidated and it does hurt. One reason I pursued a diagnosis was for self knowledge and when someone refuses to accept it, it feels that I am being told that I will have to cary on hiding who I am. And I totally agree with your last sentance. In the 'right' situation I fall apart, cry, get angry, can't take things in etc.
Raziel-I think that you make a good point in saying that really all that matters is that the professionls know about it and treat me accordingly. And getting the help and support I need is the main thing.