So I have been off the site for the past few months mostly because my mom died suddenly in a car accident about two months ago, and I have been less interactive and talkative. I am wondering about other people's coping after a loss such as the loss of a family member. I was on close terms with my mom and she was the person in the family who most tried to understand my AS, and it seems likely that my AS comes from her side of the family.
My dad, one of my brothers, and my sister are very NT, my other brother who does not talk to me is borderline personality. My dad and my NT brother and sister and my roommate are apparently concerned that I am not coping because I do not talk to them to reminisce, I do not cry very often, I have not had as much of a behavioral change from before and after, I am not "touchy feel-ly" (never have been), and I still dislike hugs (and they say I need hugs and that they are good for me even though they feel very uncomfortable).
After the accident I did most of my processing by researching forensic reconstruction of car accidents, and then reconstructed a model of the accident, I studies statistics of car accident deaths, car fires in accidents, and mechanisms of death by burning (the fuel tank of the truck that collided with my mom exploded and there was a bad fire, such that the police did not realize that there was another vehicle involved with the accident until after the fire went down). To cope, I beat on a punching bag, emailed my therapist, and watched the Olympics (my mom and I had been watching them together but in different cities and comparing by phone for the few days before the accident). I am still sad it occurred but I seem to have more peace about my mom's death than the rest of my family and therefore the rest of my family is worried about me. I seem to be functional (or at least as much as before) I am looking for a job, I do laundry, I am back in my Aikido class, I help with kids class at church and AWANA, I cook, I still have problems cleaning the apartment and organizing my clothes and putting them away but that is normal.
So a question for others is: Is my family right and I have not coped well? Do I need to be talking to them more and crying more? Any thoughts are appreciated.
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