I'm only 22 and already I don't trust people

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I feel I'm too anxious about having a relationship because I don't trust people. Nearly every week I hear of a woman being stabbed to death by their partner who they have been going out with for months or even years, and I'm scared it's going to happen to me. It's like some people are all right and seem normal, then suddenly have an insane moment and suddenly violently turn on their girlfriend or wife. It's so scary.

I have never been dumped, it's always been me who have dumped guys because I've either found they're not my type, felt I was too smothered by them, or my trust just hasn't gone far enough. So it's not like I've had any bad experiences with men before, but I have still lost my trust already, although at the same time I do want a relationship one day.

Anyone else feel this way, or is it just me?

Trust is a funny thing. Either it's there or it isn't.

While it's true someone could snap and kill us in our sleep this is kind of something you can't always predict. Warning signs are there sometimes. Sometimes they aren't.

It's kind of like being scared to go outside because you don't want to be hit by a bus. Chances are slim either will happen.

Anyway, CBT may be the way to go as this does kind of reach into something other than Asperger's.

Well it's not your fault that the average human being in this world is just a pretentious slimehead devoid of any form of empathy whatsoever.

I regard all people with wariness. I do not let my guard down around strangers, EVER. Its very tiring and depressing but I just don't trust all that easily.
I'm afraid to enter a relationship because so many turn out badly, for other people. I don't want to be hurt like that, and it seems that would be the only possible outcome.

Trust is something that develops over time, it isn't something that happens overnight. Just think of it in terms of statistics: if you've known someone for a year, and he hasn't violated your trust in any way during that period, then the chances are pretty good that he'll continue to be trustworthy. Now, if he lied to you twice and stole $5 from your purse during that same time period, that's enough reason to not trust him and consider what else he may not be doing/saying to you.

I personally give everyone I meet a baseline level of trust. The vast majority of people are very good natured people who truly want the best for others. However, you still have to always be on guard, because there are definitely a few bad apples out there who ruin it for everyone else lol. So basically everyone I meet starts at that baseline that I determine, and from there they either gain or lose my trust based upon their actions. It helps if you're a good judge of character too. I may be pretty bad at reading facial/body expressions but in terms of judging a person's character I find I'm nearly always extremely accurate.

Trust is developed for overtime. I had the same problem when I started to date girls, but over time I got over it. If you find the right person you will know the trust is there.

Thats normal i stopped trusting people around that age as well.

Your post got me thinking and I guess I have to say, I too am not very trusting, in a slightly different way.

This is odd, because I keep a healthy distance from anyone who seems to be a awful person. I can only think of one woman I ever fell in love with who was not honorable. As a result I have maintained good relationships with women I have had crushes on even after they have married other people. I would trust any one of them in most instances.

But despite the decency of most of the people I know and interact with, I have irrational fears of being accused of rape or being taken advantage of or getting some particularly unpleasant disease. -- actually listing my fears this way only shows just how irrational they really are -- Of any person that I interact with on more than a superficial basis, I would be quite surprised if they did anything of the sort. And yet I don't trust anyone when it comes to intimacy. Maybe this is a state of mind that I use to keep myself from getting close to people. Maybe it's just because I've always avoided intimacy so I don't know what people do when they get close. Maybe it's something in my brain wiring that prevents having a sense of trust in certain areas.

But what I find odd is that, for the most part, I am perhaps too trusting of most people. I generally assume people will behave decently. I would happily hand my neighbors the keys to my house if I needed them to check in on it while I'm away. But I would be really nervous if she wanted to sit next to me on the couch.