Social Anxiety from Autism

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So I saw another thread about social anxiety and autism which has probably since disappeared into the void. One of replies concluded that the only connection between social anxiety and autism was that all social anxiety comes from anticipating failure in social interaction or something along those lines, and those with more severe autism would have less social anxiety as their social impairment causes them to fear failure less. Now, when I read that I new there something majorly wrong with that and there was more of a connection between the two than stated, but I couldn't figure out what it was at the moment. After thinking about it and my own experiences I have finally came to a conclusion. The major failure of that analysis is that social anxiety only comes from anticipating rejection. That certainly isn't true. If we look at an anxiety in general, sometimes it certainly comes from anticipating the possibility of failure, but often it comes simply from anticipating the experience to be unpleasant. For example, a child fearing shots isn't afraid that the shot will fail, she is afraid it will hurt. Likewise, many people with autism, and likely many introverted people in general, have social anxiety not just because they fear rejection, but because they dislike the experience in and of itself or find it stressful. It certainly is stressful for me to try to think up things to say in a conversation and to actually say them. I think this can also be compared to shyness in children, they may likely be too naive to really fear rejection, but they find talking in itself stressful as they aren't used enough to it. I say this simple fact is really important when looking at social anxiety in autism.

I think that's true and I also think, as is in my case, the simple fact of not knowing how to navigate the intricacies of social relationships, particularly initiating them, will cause social anxiety. I can remember as a child being frozen in fear when I was around unfamiliar people and wondering why it was so easy for others to connect. I didn't understand why people didn't approach me and assumed it was because I was defective. It was only recently that I realized the other people assumed I wasn't interested.

You hair splitter

I still think that the fear aspect is moar fundamental and important to social anxiety than the stress aspect. Social interactions are stressful for me due to the being around people and the being around people in a horrible sensory setting and the demands for me to listen and speak, etc etc etc, but I don't have social anxiety. I feel no anxiety, not even when I make mistakes that are obvious to me, which are only a small proportion of the mistakes that I make, the others having eggscaped my, but not eberryone else's, notice. I just feel like I am working hard during social interactions, like someone else would be working hard if they had to memorize baseball statistics for a couple of hours. There is no feeling of anxiety involved. I pretty much say what I think, and I rarely think about what someone else thinks about what I said or me.

Also, I think that it is true that milder autism is likely to cause moar social anxiety, because the moar mildly autistic person is moar likely to be thinking about what other people are thinking about them, and maybe some of these thought processes are automatic. The less mildly autistic person is probably not thinking these thoughts, and someone would have to ackshuly remind them to have these thoughts, and without these thoughts, there can still be the stress of social interactions and physical malaise from them and therefore avoidance of them, but that is not social anxiety. That is avoiding work that is not particularly rewarding. But if there are rewards and motivators, then the autistic person can do it for a short time without the social anxiety, the fear and freezing and panicking, getting in the way.

I have some social anxiety. Reading the news is the primary cause for this within me.

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I am the socially anxious sort. Actually, I used to be less anxious but it has increased with age. Yes, I anticipate social failure and fear not knowing how to, properly, approach people. I also tend to feel out of place, socially. Also, the way in which I was raised most likely contributes to some of my social anxiety. Autism and social anxiety are b*****s and lead to nothing but eminent social failure. Having a bad day...

Mm, I agree with most of this. For me, as a person with AS who does experience anxiety in social situations, it's kind of a mixed up mess of things and a lot of them tie in together. The stress of being in a social situation and having to do something that I have to think about a lot because it doesn't come to me naturally, anticipation of something going wrong and people viewing me as not a real person or laughing/looking down on/rejecting me, a sort of sense of paranoia in assuming that people are thinking the worst because I can't really tell, insecurity, always trying to be alert about the way I'm acting and the way other people are responding in case I do something wrong and don't even realise it, negative thoughts about how I'm going to ruin everything or how I already have, past experiences in which things have gone, and the feelings of guilt and shame and uncertainty which come with all this...they all kind of have a part to play.

Knowing that the situation doesn't come to me naturally is what makes me feel like I need to do everything exactly right or I'll mess it all up; but since I'm not even sure what's exactly right and it's surely going to go wrong and my thoughts are just completely tangled up or going round in insane loops, I tend to freeze up and get stuck. At any sign that something's gone wrong I'll blow it up out of proportion in my mind, and assume that a situation has failed totally when in fact I'm the only person thinking that and everyone else is completely bemused.

And also the fear of people noticing that I'm nervous/anxious. Sitting there sweating or blushing or trembling and not being able to control my voice just makes me freeze up more and want to disappear.

So I think there are a lot more things than just "fear of rejection" that play a part, some of them related to autism. But it also depends on what kind of person you are and past experiences, maybe even something else. People who generally tend to overthink things, worry, blame themselves, and be sensitive are probably more likely to be anxious in social situations than people with a tougher skin and more self-confidence. Some people couldn't care less about social situations or what others think of them. The reasons for their anxiety will be different for different people. Sorry for rambling. I hope this at least makes some sense.

I suffer from fear of rejection and social interaction. I'm terrible at conversation and think I'm always going to mess up at something. So for me its both. I also find that my antisocial tendencies have increased with age. Lastly, I don't understand how the word "more" can be misspelled thrice in the same sentence. Spell-check Mr. btbnnyr, I do love your cat though.

It's a vicious circle with me. I have Social Anxiety because I have AS, and I know people with AS are more liable to come out with stupid/inappropriate things in an odd tone, now that I am aware of my unintentional mistakes, I then have selective mutism and severely low confidence because of Social Phobia, and I have Social Phobia because I have AS.......... see? Never-ending circle!

The only way to break that circle is to not be worried of what other people think of me any more. It's easy for some people on the spectrum to say, but not for all of us to do. I can't help having so much self-awareness what makes me sensitive to other people's thoughts and feelings with me. I happen to have that social value that NTs have, and it's harder for a high-functioning person with mild AS to just isolate ourselves from the world because we've got to work to earn money just like NTs, and in most work places you cannot always avoid social contact with other people, and I can't help being sensitive to rejection, humiliation and isolation.

So, I guess I will stay a Social Phobe forever. But someone told me that confidence varies with age, so generally a person with low confidence when they're young may be more likely to become more confident when they're older, and a person with higher confidence when they're young may be more likely to lose their confidence when they get older. But this may not be true, but it is interesting to look more into.

Most of my social anxiety is all about anticipation of failure and not quite understanding the social expectations of the situation. I'll imagine the worst possible outcomes and sort of keep repeating those thoughts.

Once I am actually in the social situation most of the anxiety goes away once I get a better picture of what is expected of me and I realize that it isn't actually as bad as I thought it would be. I often end up doing much better than I thought I would, but unless I'm in that situation a LOT I will "forget" all about the good experiences and be just as anxious the next time.

Although social anxiety for me is rarely is about thinking the situation will be unpleasant, I do think you are correct in the sense that rejection is not the only source of social anxiety.