I hate it when people jokingly insult each other

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Don't you hate it when people insult each other, but in that jokey way where it's not supposed to be offensive? It really gets on my nerves, and although I am not the sort of Aspie to take this sort of thing literally, I am still no good at having one of these stupid conversations with people.

Like this morning some teenagers got on the bus to go to college, and a girl sat in front of me and a boy walked past her seat and she stuck her finger up at him. I could tell it wasn't a hostile thing, she was just joking (God knows how I knew, I just did because I am good at reading body language), she just did it calmy and was grinning anyway, and it sort of irritated me. If I had of done that to one of my friends, they would have took it seriously and got all upset, even if I had of been mucking around with them beforehand.

Also I saw on Facebook somebody ''arguing'' with their boyfriend, although it wasn't really arguing, they were just joking. It went something like this:-
Girl: Some twat pushed me over today
Boy: You made me do it, b***h! xx
Girl: I did not xxx
Boy: Liar! :/ xx
Girl: f**k off, weirdo! xx:P
Boy: U f**k off, b***h! xxx

Just reading that really irritated me. Why can't people just have descent conversations. When I read older people's posts on Facebook, they're so much more mature, even if they do joke, they don't use all these swears and insult each other like youngsters of today do. Does anyone else find this sort of thing irritating, people always insulting each other but not in a nasty way? What makes it worse is if I tried to do that to someone, they'll probably think I mean it seriously, knowing my luck.

I don't mind having a little joke, like once at my voluntary job I said I would stay for another hour, and the manager smiled and said, ''oh so we've got to put up with you longer today then?'' I knew she was just joking, so I laughed and said, ''yep!'' and she laughed too. Also when something went wrong with the paperwork, the manager pointed to me and said to one of the others, ''see, it's Jo's fault, you see...'' but I knew she was joking so I laughed and said, ''thanks!'' and they laughed too, then the joke was older. But sometimes people just go a bit far, which gets to a point where it starts to annoy me when they do it to each other.

Most of my friendships are based on humour like this I guess. I was bought up by a very sarcastic, jokey father, so my humour is like his. I don't use swear words so much to my friends, but we do take the p*ss out of each other a lot.

In a way, people who do this see the behavior the same way you do...When people really act this way (not joking), blatantly insulting people, getting into stupid arguments on the internet, it's so immature and ridiculous, some of us find it funny, and we imitate it so that we can laugh at the people who do it.

I think the furthest people should go with humor like that is Joker in the Mass Effect series...goofy and sarcastic, but never harmful or using a lot of cursing.

I like to think I have a good mix of both with my close friends. Having a discussion while not being afraid to have a jab at each other from time to time. I think I'd be a rather dull chap if I didn't throw in a bit of humor here and there. One thing I have found tricky in the past is establishing if something is in jest, or they are just insulting you. So I don't tend to do it as much with people I'm not well established with.

That's teasing, and as Tequila said, a way of bonding. It also shows a strong connection and a certain level of trust; maybe it can be compared to playfighting?

I'd just advise you not to listen too closely to me when I'm with a close friend Although things have evolved from outrageous cusswords to clever insults and retorts in my case and my friends', the principle still stands.

Oh....seems like I'm the only one who gets annoyed at it then.

That doesn't mean I lack sense of humour. In fact I have a lot of humour, but I don't have those jokey arguments with people. I'm no good at it, I did it before and somebody thought I was being serious so I had to explain that it was a joke. I think this has put me off joking around with people, and I only laugh if they joke with me, but I don't carry it on in that fake argumentative way because it gets annoying.

And I'm so scared to call my friend ''b***h'' on Facebook, even as a joke with loads of smiley faces and kisses, because they will still somehow take it seriously. But that does not mean I don't have any sense of humour, I do laugh at basically anything. The other day I said to my friend, ''we can't eat or drink on the bus. It says 'no food or drink','' and then my friend pointed to me and said, ''it says no Jo's'', and that made me laugh. That sort of joke does make me laugh. Also I was saying to my other friend, ''hmm, it won't be any point me coming to see you on the bus tomorrow, because by the time I get there it'd be time to get the next bus home again'', and then my friend laughed and said, ''you can knock on my door, I'll pass a quick cup of tea through the window, you can quickly drink it, then leave again''. I knew she was just joking so I laughed. Still makes me laugh when I think about her saying that now. I like those sorts of jokes.

Sometimes people use this "joking" thing to have a go at someone, then say
"I was just kidding, stupid."
But I know they weren't kidding because they insult that person when they're not around.

Sometimes it's to establish an order of status between people.
Sometimes a means of expressing affection when the participants are afraid they will be laughed at if they use gentle words.

I find it difficult to deal with people being aggressive so even supposed unmeant aggression is uncomfortable for me. Why not simply be kind to each other?

As you described, there are different ways to show your humour and playfulness.

Avoid Ireland. . . Most of our Humour is friendly insults, Quite the same in Fife too.

I actually like that if it doesn't step over personal lines. I think it often occurs between genders like teasing and it's playful. But some time ago at work there was a painter who didn't know me. He started quite in a nice way and I took part. The annoying thing was it never stopped during the three hours of his presence there and it became more and more personal and by this hurtful. I used more and more sarcasm what he obviously couldn't stand. He didn't stop and I got more in need to defense myself with dark humour.. I was quite happy as he left and my boss too..
It's fine with people I know. But this one was quite strange. Sometimes I even think it keeps you off going into a deeper level or more meaningful level of convo. If someone always responds then in a teasing way I don't feel taken seriously so they aren't really interesting to have a convo again.

It bothers me when people* complain about how "kids these days" do this, or that. They've been brought up in a decade characterized by war. Oh no, they use curse words! Adults, usually the ones complaining, started wars. People are dead. Blood is on their hands. Oh, but let's not swear, or smoke weed, or play violent games.

*(In the US/UK, since I haven't heard many rambling angry people that aren't from those countries.)

*song lyrics*

Every single day what you say makes no sense to me
Letting you inside, isn't right, don't mess with me
I never really know what's really going on inside you
I can't get my head around you

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"Don't you hate it when people insult each other, but in that jokey way where it's not supposed to be offensive? It really gets on my nerves, and although I am not the sort of Aspie to take this sort of thing literally, I am still no good at having one of these stupid conversations with people."


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I actually dislike this too.
Mainly I see people use this type of humor when they actually do dislike the other person to some extent.
They think if they disguise their insults as humor then they aren't being jerks. They still are.

Of course, not like in the example you gave. But I don't find that funny anyhow.
I do find other things funny though.