The Media & its Impact on Relationships

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The media. Its everywhere. On TV, the Radio, Magazines, catalogs, pornography, the list goes on.

We are taught from an early age that men and women both should look a certain way to be accepted. (Especially women).

Women must be perfect, they must be thin, with visible breasts, and have sex appeal. They must wear revealing, tight clothing. Wear heels, have long legs. You must be cute, sensual, and sexual.

Men are expected to be fit, have a six pack or the beginnings of one. Sex appeal. We must have just the right amount of muscle. We must be well groomed and successful. We must be perfect. You must be tough.

Being expected to be perfect deeply hurts people who cannot come close to the "standards" set by the media. The result is people having less confidence and less self esteem. Women end up with eating disorders and dysfunctions in arousal and sexuality. While men are expected to have lots of sex. If we don't, we aren't real men. Some men also have eating disorders due to low self esteem.

I have low self esteem myself, because I am not lean, fit, muscular, or successful. I don't look the certain way and I don't meet the standards set by the media. I choose to break the rules because I would rather be an individual, not someone I am expected to be. Muscle heads disgust me. Same with "hot" women. Both seem pompous to me. No one is as "great" as they are.

Men are not as directly affected by the media as women, but its still embedded into our psyche.

We are expected to demand perfection, in spite of the fact that we are imperfect as it gets. Our imperfections are what bring people together.

Instead, the media tears us apart. We are expected to be something that we are not, and never will be. No matter how hard we try.

The media is destroying love and relationships. Its destroying everything that brings us together as humans. It is tearing men and women apart. While women are turned off by low self esteem, men seek sex (especially with beautiful women) to raise their self esteem. Women seek good looking men to raise their self esteem. We all desperately want to be accepted by another, because being less than perfect is unacceptable.

We should be encouraged to be ourselves and be happy with who we are, not to suit society's standards. Not everyone is fortunate enough to meet those standards anyway.



Discuss?

yayy capitalism...

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You can’t blame the media entirely.

Keep in mind the term ‘popular media,’ and focus on the word ‘popular.’ The media wouldn’t be successful selling these views if it wasn’t what people wanted. It is a mercurial, shifting realm that goes with trends. The popular trends right now focus on the ‘assets’ that you mentioned. So let’s look at why it’s popular.

In Victorian London, women who were more ‘plump’ were considered more attractive to the masses then skinny lithesome ones. Why would that be? Well, back then, it was rather hard to get fat. Food was poor quality, lots of hungry people about. It was pretty easy for most women to be skinny, and to then promptly drop dead due to lack of nutrition, (some exaggeration there.) Plumpness was seen as a sign of health and wealth, because only those who were wealthy could end up being fat, and they generally were better fed and lived longer, hence they were desirable.

Nowadays, it’s ridiculously easy for anyone to get fat with the way the food industry works in North America. Actually it’s harder to be skinny. A lot harder. Cheap food is fatty food. It takes time, effort, and frankly wealth to do it. Those who are the skinniest generally have to work their butts off for it, (pun intended,) aside from the lucky few whose metabolism does the work for them. They are, purely from the biological point of things, the healthiest, and live longer, hence becoming desirable.

This is just in regards to fitness, and obviously, that is something that can shift. However what we think of a beautiful face, is fairly set in stone biologically. It’s rare to get wildly differencing opinions on what faces are attractive world-wide, and I’m pretty sure it has to do with genetics more than enforced stereotypes from beauty magazines. They’ve proven it with tests on babies preferring conventionally attractive faces, and no, I will not provide citations. I’m tired.

I would say it is reckless to blame the media for human nature. We will always want what is rare and desirable. I would agree that mass media does greatly exacerbate the issues caused by this, as it does with anything it touches. The media is a giant social mirror, and damn, the reflection is ugly sometimes.

It would be nice if the media did not pander to the lowest common desirability, but then again, if it didn’t it wouldn’t sell and wouldn’t exist, and frankly I think the benefits of mass media outweigh a lot of the drawbacks. Looking at you, Internet!

However, the original poster is quite correct that, to be happy, one should be able to appreciate what one has without gazing over the fence at others. It's up to individuals to be smart enough to find their own happiness. I admit, I want to yell at people dumb enough to believe everything they hear without thinking.

But the difference between media and reality is obvious. Look around at walmart or someplace else. Media is all about lies, the truth is, all those short, bald guys with paunches, bandy legs, bad manners, lousy jobs and no more than mediocre intelligence are no aliens, they were conceived, born, and brought up by parents who were just as unsightly, and then look at their shabby wives and ugly brats and you know that this is the f*****g reality! Media is nothing more than a fairy tale machine.