Should I be honest or not?
30 Oct 2012, 3:26 am
I started learning violin recently.Since a beginner violin noises are not pleasant (borders on a wailing sound) my land lady has a problem and has asked me stop playing entirely.Else she would not extend my rental contract after the next month.
After spending all of yesterday crying that I probably will have to stop learning, I was offered a solution. I could use a practice mute and it is impossible for someone living in a different floor to hear me.
Now I have told my landlady I will stop playing violin. Should I ask her permission to use the practice mute? Or Should i say nothing to her and continue playing?
P.S I have been honest before in such situations and it has just back fired though I have made it clear that I understand the others' position and stating that I am being considerate. Hence I am apprehensive. But then I hate lying and the consequences of being caught. There never seems to be a good time to be honest.
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AQ- 37/EQ : 15/SQ : 44/ BAP : Autistic/BAP (120 aloof, 104 rigid and 92 pragmatic)
Aspie Quiz: Aspie :130/200;NT score: 72/200;You are very likely an Aspie. Alexithymia test :135
30 Oct 2012, 4:36 am
If she definitely won't hear it, then there's no need to say anything. Her only concern is whether the noise will disturb her or not. If it doesn't, then everything's fine, but if you bring it up, she might become angry before you have a chance to explain what a practice mute is.
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Ilka
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Age: 52
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Location: Panama City, Republic of Panama
30 Oct 2012, 6:21 am
You do not need to lie, but you do not need to say the truth. You can say you will not distub her anymore with your violin playing (which is true), but you do not need to ask for her permission to practice with the mute. At this point she will be angry and will not give her permission. And what you do inside your apartment is of nobody's concern unless it disturbs others (the case of your violing playing). If the noise will not disturb others you do not need to ask for permission.
I love to find ways of saying things without it being a lie but without being the complete truth. I should have being a lawyer.
30 Oct 2012, 8:58 am
I love to find ways of saying things without it being a lie but without being the complete truth. I should have being a lawyer.
^^ That ^^ ... you can almost always solve such problems with honesty. Lying never sits well psychologically and it can ultimately lead to issues with others.
30 Oct 2012, 9:55 am
After spending all of yesterday crying that I probably will have to stop learning, I was offered a solution. I could use a practice mute and it is impossible for someone living in a different floor to hear me.
Now I have told my landlady I will stop playing violin. Should I ask her permission to use the practice mute? Or Should i say nothing to her and continue playing?
P.S I have been honest before in such situations and it has just back fired though I have made it clear that I understand the others' position and stating that I am being considerate. Hence I am apprehensive. But then I hate lying and the consequences of being caught. There never seems to be a good time to be honest.
You could simply tell her now that you found there is a thing that 'mute' that might let you practice without the sound reaching her. If you ask her to let you test this out for a day or two then both you and her could have your problem solved (if it does work).
Alternatively you may want to look at electric violins. You hook them to the PC and you can then play and have its sound come into your headphones. Not the same as a real violin but I guess the playing practice should be about the same.
30 Oct 2012, 12:50 pm
Thanks a lot, you guys!
I ended up telling her the truth. I also told her, if she hears me practicing then she can text me and I would stop.
I told her I started very recently and I do not want to leave it now.
Her response in reality was much nicer than it was when I imagined and obsessed about it.
_________________
AQ- 37/EQ : 15/SQ : 44/ BAP : Autistic/BAP (120 aloof, 104 rigid and 92 pragmatic)
Aspie Quiz: Aspie :130/200;NT score: 72/200;You are very likely an Aspie. Alexithymia test :135
