Newly-found anxiety
I hope I can find some advice from like-minded individuals -
To start off, I am a college-aged woman who has never had a boyfriend or been on a date. Nor have I been very interested in such things. I used to not be interested in people - especially on...that level.
So, this is all a new situation for me; meeting someone and actually feeling "attraction". I can say I "like" him. But the more I look at it, it is just becoming another Aspergers obsession, rather than like what it is for the rest of the world. Now that I met this person that caught my fancy, so to speak, I have fun poring through internet texts about topics like dating and attraction. I'll re-read them as well every so often because I am enjoying myself. But then it hit me, from my other experiences in life. When I reach a brand new interest, I read and read about it online out of obsession.
I have issues with scrupulosity, and years ago I would quite obsessively pore over religious information online, to the point that it got in the way of my daily functioning. So now I see a similar situation happening with different kinds of readings.
I am feeling anxiety now because...This is such a new situation for me!! I am an incredibly selfish person, and am used to investing time in my interests - alone. And romantic love was never on the forefront. I would often scoff at it, when I was younger. The newness of this is really worrying me. I don't take well to completely new feelings, and I'm finding myself becoming very worried and having an odd sort of despair.
This person I met...Likes anime. Which is my number one interest in life...I met him at an anime club! He approached me and talked to me, so that is probably why I have these feelings for him (another hint that makes me think this is just a new obsession of mine, rather than real feelings). However...We have a lot in common, and often joke around and whatnot. We see each other every Thursday, and text as well as talk on Facebook occassionally - I never do this with males. I only pursued conversation because I have feelings that people would describe as a "crush". He didn't "ask me out" or anything, so we are just friends right now.
Recently, I asked him if he liked horror movies, since those are my favorite type. He does - and we are planning to go to one tomorrow. I've never done something like this with a male...
However, instead of feeling happy, I am feeling worried and depressed.
I don't even know if my real self "likes" him. It feels like it's just becoming an Aspergian obsession. I feel it.
Any advice for someone like me, on getting through some of this anxiety?
Whether it's a "true" feeling you have or simply another symptom of AS, I'd say you owe it to yourself to see it (the relationship) through. Romance is part of the human experience, and even if it ends badly, you'll be wiser and better off for it. To the extent that you're able, try to let your instincts guide you. I know it feels like we don't HAVE instincts sometimes, but if you pay attention, they're there.
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Everything would be better if you were in charge.
AngelKnight
Veteran
Joined: 3 May 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 749
Location: This is not my home; I'm just passing through
Well, you seem to be enjoying yourself (whether you're comfortable with that or not) by reading about your new experience.
Try to just go to the movie and see what it's like spending time with this person at a movie that you both (hopefully) enjoy. See if it's interesting to just be near this person and being yourself, ideally while this guy is being himself.
