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Have you ever been accidentally ignored or left out?

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LeeAnderson
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05 Nov 2012, 1:52 am

All the time with my NT friends/family. For example I was outside at a party hanging out with my brother, my best friend and another friend all of whom individually I can have great talks with. They all started to talk about guitars and music which I have no clue about and I drifted to the side unnoticed and stared at the sky awkwardly.



jk1
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05 Nov 2012, 8:38 am

It happened to me only recently. Everybody except me was invited to an important occasion. I was invited at the last minute with an apology, but I knew one wouldn't "forget" to invite someone for an important occasion like that. It really made me look like an outcast (maybe I am) to the new members who didn't really knew me well, hence giving them prejudice about me. I guess that's how people further isolate an outcast and further confirm his status as such.



ColdEyesWarmHeart
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05 Nov 2012, 9:11 am

jk1 wrote:
It happened to me only recently. Everybody except me was invited to an important occasion. I was invited at the last minute with an apology, but I knew one wouldn't "forget" to invite someone for an important occasion like that. It really made me look like an outcast (maybe I am) to the new members who didn't really knew me well, hence giving them prejudice about me. I guess that's how people further isolate an outcast and further confirm his status as such.


I've found that "fake-friending" is a very common bully tactic. Makes sense if you think about it - the person or group has to include you in the first place in order to exclude you later on, when you think you're one of the group. If they didn't bother to act friendly in the first place, you wouldn't be bothered about being left out.



MjrMajorMajor
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05 Nov 2012, 9:41 am

It was done very blatantly yesterday. I didn't realize having a friend in common was such a threatening idea. I might usurp a moment of attention away. :roll:



tchek
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05 Nov 2012, 11:16 am

I heard stuffs like "we should go there us three... *quick glance at me*, er I mean four!" all my life



BanjoGirl
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05 Nov 2012, 11:34 am

If sometimes I'm ignored is because people don't notice me because I'm quiet. I doubt they do it on purpose because I'm not a confrontational person.


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Joe90
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05 Nov 2012, 11:57 am

I'm normally naturally left out, meaning it's just the way things go and 9 out of 10 people do not intentionally leave me out. Even the nicest of people can still accidentally leave me out of conversations and so on.


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tjr1243
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05 Nov 2012, 12:58 pm

Just want to thank you all for your responses and feedback. I feel like people who are outright rude are treated better, wonder why that is. My preliminary theory is that rude people are that - rude - so people aren't confused about what they're about. Whereas my Aspergers makes me weird, which possibly confuses and perhaps even frightens people. Has anyone else noticed this?



Last edited by tjr1243 on 05 Nov 2012, 1:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.

nessa238
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05 Nov 2012, 12:59 pm

tjr1243 wrote:
Just want to thank you all for your responses and feedback. I feel like people who are outright rude are treated better, wonder why that is. My preliminary theory is that rude people are that - rude - so people aren't confused about what they're about. Whereas my Aspergers makes me weird, which possibly confuses and perhaps even frightens people. Has anyone else noticed this?


Most people are rude and they are also very thick skinned so aren't as affected by rudeness as we are ie rudeness isn't rudeness to them. What they see as normal, we see as oafish and nasty.



tjr1243
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05 Nov 2012, 1:04 pm

nessa238 wrote:
Most people are rude and they are also very thick skinned so aren't as affected by rudeness as we are ie rudeness isn't rudeness to them. What they see as normal, we see as oafish and nasty.


That could be...i hadn't thought of it that way.



nessa238
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05 Nov 2012, 1:07 pm

tjr1243 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Most people are rude and they are also very thick skinned so aren't as affected by rudeness as we are ie rudeness isn't rudeness to them. What they see as normal, we see as oafish and nasty.


That could be...i hadn't thought of it that way.


From my observations most people are never as affected by rudeness as I am - they seem to see it as the norm or that it can't be changed. I have very low to zero tolerance of it. I don't want to around rude people.



tjr1243
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05 Nov 2012, 1:47 pm

nessa238 wrote:
tjr1243 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Most people are rude and they are also very thick skinned so aren't as affected by rudeness as we are ie rudeness isn't rudeness to them. What they see as normal, we see as oafish and nasty.


That could be...i hadn't thought of it that way.


From my observations most people are never as affected by rudeness as I am - they seem to see it as the norm or that it can't be changed. I have very low to zero tolerance of it. I don't want to around rude people.


I can't even be in the same room with a rude person - i've had to give up a lot of things due to one person's mere presence making it a miserable experience.



nessa238
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05 Nov 2012, 4:29 pm

tjr1243 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
tjr1243 wrote:
nessa238 wrote:
Most people are rude and they are also very thick skinned so aren't as affected by rudeness as we are ie rudeness isn't rudeness to them. What they see as normal, we see as oafish and nasty.


That could be...i hadn't thought of it that way.


From my observations most people are never as affected by rudeness as I am - they seem to see it as the norm or that it can't be changed. I have very low to zero tolerance of it. I don't want to around rude people.


I can't even be in the same room with a rude person - i've had to give up a lot of things due to one person's mere presence making it a miserable experience.


I know what you mean. I'm similar; rude people affect me very badly and drain me as I experience them far more intensely than the average person; it's almost a physical thing. I seem to be tuned in very acutely to malignancy. Perhaps I'm meant to warn people?



lostmyself
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05 Nov 2012, 5:30 pm

Mostly because I am not particularly active or have much presence in a group. I am either lost in my own world or more active when I am interacting one-on-one.