Obsessed with love, lack of

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I think this is my 'singular interest' All the people I talk to online have girl/boyfriends, and it makes me real f*****g bitter. Why can't I have that? Why shouldn't I?

Strangely for an AS person it seems I only really think about being in a long term loving relationship, although obviously it is unattainable.

I spend my days, instead of being productive, scouring the internet for a young lady who might just take the time to make me feel less lonely if even for a second.

Every day I feel part of my being dying.

I feel the same way. I can't find the perfect girl for me,either. I know that she's out there,and I'll find her someday. But,here's some things that I have learned:

1. Independance is more attractive than dependance.

2. WHY do you feel the need to have a significant other? HOW will she make you happy?

3. Be patient. Love will find you.

That's all I can think of for now.


-SpaceCase

before i met my boyfriend i had given up on the idea of ever getting married. i had tried so many times to find someone, anyone, and no one seemed to even notice that i existed, at least not in that way. but as soon i just let it go, and chose to happy the way i was, like spacecase said, love found me. sounds cheesy i know, but it did happen. my now bf randomly, without having ever met me, asked me to go bowling with him. i did, then stayed distant for a month before deciding to go on a second date. on the second date, i bluntly asked him if we are now bf gf i'm not one for subtlety, but we've been together for over year now.

so just try to happy as you are, live life, and stop looking. but keep an eye open. when the opportunity comes, take it and appreciate the chance to love.

Yes that does sound cheesy, but it also turned out to be true for me. My teens and early 20s were a dark time I don't have many fond memories of. I was extremely introverted (didn't know I had AS back then) and had a really hard time making any friends, let alone dates or girlfriends. At 24 I hit rock bottom- was totally depressed and seriously thought about suicide in a particularly messy way so that at least the people cleaning up would notice.

Then I kind of let go. It's not like I came to love or be happy with myself. It's more like I started to accept that, for better or worse, I'm an introvert (or aspie as I know now) and that's just how it's going to be. This is who I am. After coming to accept that, I was amazed how much easier it was to deal to people. I could actually make friends and socialize, even date, without freaking everyone out. I still made mistakes just not as much as before. Eventually a friend I made introduced me to a wonderful woman who is the love of my life. We've been together 8 years now and married for 5.

So from personal experience I suggest you stop trying so hard and just be comfortable with who you are. Things will get better!

I, personally, thought I was comfortable.. a girl I like, she told me she basically got played and it made me severely angry. It makes me angry that she goes after the same guys they all do, wind up in their bed, think they have them then wam, dumped. Its so predictable and I feel like s**t that happened to her and I dont know why. I care about her, but I dont know why I do either. We've seen each other.. no times in the last 4 years.. yet, last night, i couldnt sleep, i was up from 1 am until now, only ever getting 30 minutes here or there.. I've never slept so bad in my life..

The worst part is that I care.. I care and I know i cant do anything, I know she doesnt want my help.. sometimes i wonder if i need hers though..

I'm 24 and I think I'm at rock bottom.. I know if i stop looking i'll have my best chance but.. its hard.. I know after christmas, I know things will be different.. I hope they are.. maybe I'll be changed..