Complacency

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I hate that word and that horrid stupid term. Anyone else have a problem with it?

I have terrible conversation skills, it seems, more often than not (not like I am surprised) but something my gf said to me last night really ranked!

We where talking and she said she was going to do something or other before she went to bed. I asked her "oh so you decided when you are going to bed already?" I ask her this when the topic of going to sleep goes because we go to bed together, this lets me work a time frame between what I wanted to do and what I had time to do before we retire together.

She asked me why did I ask that instead of "when do you plan to go to bed"? I said I did not want to know WHEN i wanted to know if you had chosen when, then I was going to ask about that. she goes that is so weird, small talk, "do you ever think why you do that its so pointless."

I said "not really"

I was thinking me, small talk? I am not one of those freaks that talks about the weather! and SHE brought the bedtime conversation up, what else was I supposed to say?

Then she start looking up psych stuff and tells me that she found complacency an interesting subject. how people can be scared or worried about something and twist it to be complacent.

I have no idea why, but this really really BOTHERED me. That she would IMPLY (or bluntly state) that if I do not question myself ALL the time over things SHE THINKS, are meaningless thus I am COMPLACENT!

Give me a break! If I am playing a game "i am disconnecting" well duh

If I read a book I am trying not to spend time with the family, if I do not comment to ever single sound she makes, or every single comment she makes over the book she IS reading while I AM reading, I am not being social I am just in the room!

For f***s sake, I am autistic and very easily focused, and guess what I do not want to be social every particle of the day. sometimes its nice to be by myself, in my head or drawing or reading etc. why do I have to be social while i am doing a hobby? now she thinks the computer is at fault.

I dunno what to say. Arguments like this are one of the reasons I have never attempted to form a relationship with another person. NT's are confusing. No, all people are confusing. I can't be bothered to try to make any kind of sense out of it. I like animals better.

mm I hear you bro. It's a way of life. I approach most things with ambivalence. Neglect and ambivalence are the active ingredients in my recipe for success.
You sound fine. Just explain that those types of boring decisions take more mental energy for you, and that you have to recharge in order to be affectionate with her and solve problems effectively. Tell her you enjoy doing individual activities with her in the same room because it feels secure and cozy.
Maybe find a game you can play together, like Portal 2 or Little Big Planet or download some version of shi**y free LAN Halo.
I rather like reading with my legs draped all over my boyfriend while he plays Diablo. Ooh that's another one that's fun to play with a friend actually.
Anyway. Just explain that in some ways you're just really relaxed and flexible and not really interested in being decisive, and in order to be that way, you need time to do the things you're interested in.
Explain that if she wants you to come to bed, she should say "Will you please come to bed?" and to ask more directly for what she wants. Her question was sort of not helpful in getting what she wanted. Show her your post! Or show her my reply!
Instead of "Are you going to eat dinner?", suggest that she ask "I want dinner, will you help me make it if you want some?"
or
instead of "When are you going to get off the computer?" recommend that she say "I want to watch a movie about squids with you, will you please save your game progress or finish the level or whatever so we can sit together?"
even if she just wants to sit with you, she could say "I want to chill with you and have your attention, will you stop at the next natural ending point or maybe like 30 minutes?"
If you're a gamer, the best thing she can do is say "finish the level," or "finish this segment" or whatever, or if you're playing cod online, that specific session.
Then you can just say, "I'll be at level 47 in 15 minutes, can we start then? If I stop now, I might lose my progress and feel weird about not completing it."

And then finish your game/level/whatever and do what she asks!

No one is really at fault here. Just a communication thing.
edit: grammar derp

I think the term "complacent" is entirely inappropriate and inaccurate. I want to say more but my dad is on his way over ... later