I have recently met a woman with Asperger's......

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Bananaman
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17 Nov 2012, 8:57 pm

I have recently met a woman with Asperger's & would like to be someone she feels comfortable with. I would greatly appreciate any help with a basic rundown of what she lives with in her daily life & an explanation of the do's & don'ts that will help me be someone she can feel comfortable around & how I should behave & what to possibly expect in the formative stages of our friendship. I do not have autism & have never, to the best of my knowledge, met someone who has Asperger's. The one thing I know is that routine is VITAL to her & those are the kinds of things I need to know, eg, give her plenty of time to prepare for my visit & never drop in unannounced etc. I would greatly appreciate any info, suggestions etc. so I can come into her life peacefully & in a way that respects her needs. Please help educate me, if you can :D



memie580
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19 Nov 2012, 11:14 am

You are right, it is really important that you prepare her for any possible changes. I am on the spectrum. My mind is like a computer, anything new has to be reprogammed. for example, when my mom says to do the dishes a certain way, and later wants it done differently, she cannot just tell me how to do it different, she has to show me as if I have never done dishes. So when making plans with her that in mind. Also, I can only speak for me but, I cannot focus being in places with lots of people, colors, shapes, sounds, and sizes. When I go to a building with colored walls, and pictures, and colored trim, and tables, and lights, I feel like chaos in my head. I get frustrated easier. For you, there may not be much going on in the room, but you do not think about everyones shoes,, their color and size, the peoples height, the walls and how come they painted them that color, the possible structure of the building, ect. I subconsciously take in every detail of every room I enter. If there is too much to take in, I get exhausted.


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Bananaman
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19 Nov 2012, 11:55 am

Thank you very much for taking the time to write that, I will bear your advice in mind as I get to know her & will try to ensure that as far as I am able, I will try to be around her in peaceful environments until I get to know her own personal needs. All the best & take care!



lady_katie
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21 Nov 2012, 3:04 pm

You need to read "22 things a woman with Aspergers wants her partner to know" by Rudy Simone. That'll give you a great summary of what your looking for!



CockneyRebel
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22 Nov 2012, 11:59 pm

Welkome to WP

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Bananaman
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23 Nov 2012, 2:05 am

Lady Katie, thank you very much for that heads up. I will track it down & read it although when I say friendship, I mean friendship. There is no romance in the future between my new friend & I. She is way too good for me, hahaha! :lol:



Bananaman
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23 Nov 2012, 2:08 am

Thank you very much Mick! Very kind of you to take the time to welcome me to this site. Take care & all the best :)