Are you embarrassed or ashamed about having Asperger's?

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I used to be embarrassed and terrified about it.

I quit putting so much effort into trying to be socially perfect, when it led to depression, unhealthy weight loss, suicidal ideation, and severe OCD. On top of all of that, I made a social mistake that spiraled out of control and resulted in a loss of friendship and an unfair blemish on my character.

I realized that if I hadn't tried to be so perfect to begin with (because I had something to hide) than I would be much happier.

So, in theory I'm not, but in practice I'm still learning.

I try to get an adrenaline rush out of showing my autism instead of an embarrassing flush....oh well.

Not really. A lot of the times it's fine. Sometimes people can be really cruel and abusive. It wears you down. I think learning how to deal with that would help.

Due to all the misconceptions about Asperger's and autism, I could say that I am very ashamed. It's a secret that I tell to absolutely nobody.

Back when I was a kid, my mom would never hesitate tell anyone she met about me having the condition, and this would instantly change their opinion of me for the worst. I could be getting along with someone just fine, until my mom butts in saying "oh this is my son, he has Apps-Burgers, it's a form of autism". The moment they hear the word "autism", they're suddenly looking at me like I'm an alien, keeping their distance from me, and talking to me in that godawful patronizing voice. And there's nothing I could do to get them to think of me otherwise.

I am not ashamed or embarrassed.

Though I am chronically embarrassed and sometimes ashamed of my behavior, this is a result of my difficulty with social interactions and such due to Asperger's. As for having Asperger's per se, I am absolutely not embarrassed or ashamed. I hope that makes sense.

I'm not ashamed of it. It's only a thing I don't like to say to people out of my family because I think that it's only a label, and however, who would care if I have AS or not?

You don't blame people for discriminating against Autistics and treating them like crap?! You disgust me.

Sometimes.

Embarrassed and ashamed, always have been. I hate being socially awkward. It makes me feel ashamed of myself, like I could do better but at the same time I fear social failure.

Also the way I get funny looks by random strangers in public and the way they stare down at me, makes me feel like there is something about myself that I should be ashamed of. Most of my friends advise me to take it as a compliment by saying that other women are jealous of me for being slim and maybe quite attractive, but I don't go by that because I get even prettier girls staring down at me aswell, who are also slim and look more ''beautiful'' because they wear more make-up than me and so on. So they can't be jealous of me. So I know it's something wrong with the way I appear, even if I know I don't do anything unusual or look funny in any way, so that just makes me feel even more uncomfortable, being so there's not much more to work on but still getting odd reactions from other people.

All of that makes me feel ashamed of myself. Also with the outbursts I have. They are uncontrollable at the time, and when I get this attack of anger, all I want to do is to let it all out of my system by screaming and going manically insane, then at least it is eventually out and I can then calm down. When I get something in my head that causes sheer panic or rage, I just lose it. I just don't know what else to do, where to put myself, how to think. I feel like I'm trapped in my own skin, with whatever problem has caused me to have this outburst, as though I feel drowned with feelings of helplessness. Anger is normal, even NTs get angry, it is an emotion what many people express, but I express my angry emotions to a slightly more extreme level than the majority of average people. All of that behaviour also makes me feel ashamed, especially when I see my friends and they don't even know that I have all these fits of anger behind closed doors, and if I told them they'll probably be surprised, being so I appear as such a sweet, meek, calm person to them, not to mention a relatively normal person.

Uhh! AS has too many embarrassing traits; covering ears at loud noises, having uncontrollable angry fits, acting childish a lot of the times, being anxious over stupid things, having obsessions where I become crazy over particular people and end up accidentally stalking them, being socially awkward, having trouble speaking up, and also all the childhood memories of not really having any true friends at school really sets me back, which is why I try to block certain times at school from my mind. Also I have done a lot of things what I frown upon now, I know even NTs have but mine are shamefully memorable and have affected other people in the past. I often wrap my arms round my head in despair of myself when I think of these things I done. Things like stupid things I done at an age what usually would happen to most people at a younger age.

Uh, I hate AS!

Don't be ashamed I'm not! Aspergers is a gift not a burden, people will always take advantage! I learn a lot on psychology to help me, I cross analyse during conversations with information I've acquired. Helps my ability to acknowledge fowl play, although its still difficult to separate sarcasm from truth or jokes!

I cant be around normal people much, or for prolonged periods of time, it exhausts me totally. As soon as I've had enough I stop coinciding, and stay in silence retreating into my own mind for peace.

Apergers is the Evolution of humans, I take pride in being apart of the greater good !

I'm not embarrased or ashamed because I have no Diagnosis or Proof anyway, I just "KNOW" I have it. If I tell anyone, they will just rattle off that I dont know what i'm talking about and It's just stress.

Last edited by ravenloft68 on 18 Nov 2012, 4:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

no to both

No I am not embarressed or ashamed of having Aspergers I am proud of who I am and me being me and if NTs out there do not like me for me well thats there problem not mine.

I can think what I want; in all honesty I hate this thing. I just want to fit in... be normal. NTs have lives, I don't. Joe90 sums up my opinion's pretty well.

No. If I were to ascribe a particular emotion to my disorders, it would be anger. Anger that life is not like this for others. Anger that many people were raised by responsible parents in stable homes.

I'm not embarrassed by the Asperger's label itself but I am embarrassed by the aspects of the Asperger's that make people treat me differently - they can often make me feel ashamed/not as good as others. Then at other times I get angry about being made to feel bad by other people and myself taking their judgements seriously. So I go backward and forward between feeling ashamed and angry. I can also just tolerate it though at other times in a 'who ever said life was meant to be easy?' type of stoical manner or even forget about it if I'm engaged in doing something I enjoy.

Logically I can see that it's invariably other peoples' problems with difference more than my
actual fault but when it means people are rejecting and nasty about it, it's hard not to internalise their judgement and start feeling I'm not good enough. Avoiding the general masses as much as possible is how I deal this as they aren't going to change any time soon!

I also come down hard on them if there's an organised structure through which to complain ie they'd better be above reproach in whatever role they're in if they're going to be judgemental and critical of me for just being me! This presents endless opportunities as generally NTs are rubbish at adhering to systems properly and I will be making sure it gets reported if they disrupt my life sufficiently.

CBT therapy helped me a lot to stop focusing on bad experiences - you have a choice about what you think about and your thoughts will directly impact on your feelings.

Also inspirational quotes can be very good to focus on - this is one of my favourites:-

Do not let your peace depend on the hearts of men; whatever they
say about you, good or bad, you are not because of it another man,
for as you are, you are.

Thomas ã Kempis
(1379-1471, German Monk, Mystic, Religious Writer)