I've got this really bad habit!

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I've had this habbit for a while now, and I have spoken to a number of important people in my life about it, and some understand but others don't. I've wanted to post it on here, and recieve some advice from people with aspergers and autism just like myself.

So basically, when I really want to do something and succeed, I dare myself to ruin the situation and not succeed. Why? Just because I dared myself to do it. These things include socializing, playing the drums, acting and pretty much everything. Now, when I say ruin the situation, I don't mean I ruin it by actually doing something obvious (Or at least I hope not), but when I have my mind firmly focused on achieving something-mostly somehthing that I find challenging-the word ' HABBIT! ' pops up in my head, and then all of a sudden I loose all my confidence in what I am trying to do. However, it wasn't the word habbit to begin with.

Because of my Autism (and I'm sorry if this dosen't sound like a typical autistic symptom, but that dosen't mean it's not a problem for me) I've always had a bad habbit at some point. Whether it be making a funny noise, following cars with my eyes as they drive past outside the window, or twitching my eyes really uncomfortably. But at this point in my life, my habbit was really subtle, and it was a thought in my head with the same line which went by 'You've got Autism, you can't do this!', and it was accuring during my GCSE exam period. It was a voice of doubt in my head. It was s a negative response to my nerves. I told my drama thereapist about it, and because drama thearpy is all about exploring issues in an artistic and fictional way, my thearapist adressed that we should give this bad habbit a name. So I just went with the obvious, and said it should be called 'HABBIT'.

But now I'm worried that giving this little problem of mine a name, a character and an actual visulisation has just made it far worse, because now there is a well rounded creation of it in my head, which has just made it more of a problem. I've recently started college, and because of my Aspergers, socializing dosen't come naturally to me anyway, and 'HABBIT' just ruins it for me even more so. When I ask my dad for advice, he just says that I'm over thinking things, and that I've got the choice to stop if I wanted to. But that's the thing, I know that I'm being rediculous, but unfoutunately that dosen't give me control. And when I ask my mum, she'll be humorous about it, and say something like, "why don't you just tell habbit to f**k off!" My older sister however, understands my problem, and she told me that she thinks everyone has habbit to an extent. She also articulated it very well, and compared it to standing on the edge of a cliff and having an urge to jump even though you don't want to, and that it's like tourettes, only it's just a thought rather then an action, or a vocal outburst. Her advice was that I should just stop worrying about it, and then sooner or later I'll forget about it. But I am a massive worrier, and I seem to be finding that really difficult.

Can anyone relate to this? If so, please could you give me some advice on how to deal, or even get rid of this habbit.
Thankyou!

I think I know what you mean, that when you realise you are good at something you derail with your habbit. But while you are supposedly to consciously decide not to actively think about it, it in itself creates another derailing method.

Could possibly be OCD?

I've got a tendency to do repetitive things, some that drive me nuts, its like an itch that drives you bat**** crazy if you don't scratch it?

Okay, it's not going to work to try to ignore Habit. That's kind of like if I tell you to not think about a yellow jeep for the next 5 minutes. All you'll keep thinking about is a yellow jeep....

It is very telling that you named it Habit. The good thing about habits is that they are changeable. The easiest thing to do is to invent a replacement habit. At first, this might be hard. And it might feel very artificial and seem like it's not going to work.

But this is not something that is going to work instantly...because it is a habit. Habits are, by definition, hard to change. You will need to promise yourself you will keep trying and give your new Habit a chance to take root.

You might get derailed sometimes, or forget to do your replacement habit or get frustrated and give up. That is okay, as long as you tell yourself that you are going to keep trying. You WILL win.

I would highly recommend the Emotional Freedom Technique/Tapping. Google it for an explanation of how-to. I have to say, this is one of those things you are going to feel like an idiot for doing at first. It just seems so silly. But I'll be damned if it doesn't work.

You can choose any new habit you want, though. Then, next time Old Habit comes along, interrupt him with New Habit. If the best you can do is just follow Old Habit with New Habit at first, that is okay. You will get better. Remember, it takes time to form a new habit.

Another thing that helps is specifically acknowledging Old Habit when he comes along. Don't try to ignore him...just think of him as the town lunatic. You're in the middle of doing something, when the lunatic comes over to you and interrupts. He's got all kinds of crazy crap he wants to tell you. He says that because you are autistic, you will fail. I guess he didn't get the bulletin about Warren Buffett and Bill Gates having loads of autistic traits. Did they fail? No, they kicked everyone else's ass and have more money than God. But Old Habit is kind of a sad case...he's deranged. You feel sorry for him. So even though he has interrupted your work and is annoying you, you let him talk his nonsense. Then you politely thank him for his concern and tell him you have to go back to work. With New Habit.

Rinse and repeat.

I've had many bad habits, Porn being my most controlling.

When I was younger, If I focused on something I really liked. I would forget about time and space and learn as much as I could about it. When I was interested in a topic, I would completely "zone-out" of the world. I still to this day use that to my advantage.

I have found a way to control my "addiction" or "habit" by finding an outlet that values self-acceptance and personal sexuality in non-pervasive way.
I continue to struggle on some days but I have gotten better, much better in my opinion.

How much do you want to change is my question?

Best Regards,

Jake

I think it is easy to over complicate on over symptomise. It is not some special thing, it is quite common actually. Not just on the spectrum,.

This is called preempting failure. You fear you are going to fail so you don't like that feeling that it is going to happen at some time in the future, so you preempt it.

It is a definite result you know what it is going to be. Life is full of unknowns, you need to gradually get used to that, learn to become more resilient. Each time something doesn't work pick yourself off the floor, take the positives an move on. Just because things are going right no reason to focus on the possibility of failure.

It is also useful to break down you goals an break them down some more, work on baby steps, don't try an move a mountain in one go.

This usually goes part in parcel with self esteem and confidence issues, which is perfectly understandable. It is important to realize it is gradual, people do not suddenly become confident overnight. There is nothing wrong with that, just have the in mind that you re in it for the long haul. I remember when I used to force myself to go to martial arts, I enjoyed it, but it would give me serious apprehension each time leading up. It was like that for at least two years. I had to force myself to go. I did take a month off once at a particularly stressful time, but I persevered,. Now my attendance is perfect, no one goes more often than me, I probably attend slightly more then the instructor, since \i cover, when he is no there.