What do you do when you think people dislike you?

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I feel hurt when I know someone dislikes me. I know everyone can't like everyone, but because I've got low self-esteem, it is just hurtful for me to know that someone doesn't like me for whatever reason. I am not thick-skinned at all, I let things get to me too much.

I don't do anything about it though because I'm not the sort to hold grudges against people.

This is interesting. I also have a hard time realising that someone doesn't like me and it seems to be like that for quite a few people around here. I wonder whether this might be some kind of Aspie thing. There are hardly any persons I dislike. Usually, I just don't care about them and I don't understand why they would be so emotional about me. It was just today that I was told someone really, really hates me. I never had anything to do with him. It is a mystery to me.


Yeah well, what I do if I am told someone dislikes me? I avoid them.

Most people don't like me, so it's really not hard to be right most of the time.

I interact with them as little as possible. What else can you do? Confrontation is usually counterproductive.

There seems to be two recurring themes here that, as usual, make me feel much better about myself and grateful that WP exists.
1. Many of us don't seem to be able to tell if we're liked or not unless it's painfully obvious.
2. Many of us are avoidant when it's obvious that we're disliked.
I wasn't always this way. At first I just used to give people the benefit of the doubt. I'd judge myself for being paranoid and convince myself that stupid little comments were not directed at me. I think I know what passive aggressive means now (because unfortunately I've experienced so much of it). Passive aggressive used to just be an oxymoron that I didn't understand but now I think I get it and it seems to be the favourite weapon of NT's who want you to feel bad but without being able to directly confront them because they're being just subtle enough. It's like twisting an emotional and psychological knife in someone and they literally seem to enjoy it and get off on it and I've noticed this is 'ordinary' people.
I can be very quick witted and funny in response when I'm enjoying myself but as soon as I think something is in mean spirit my brain just shuts down. But after I've had enough I finally snap and try to talk to people calmly and openly but as others here have noticed people don't like this and it can actually just make things worse. They get angry, defensive or just deny everything right to your face. Despite my better judgement I've even been temporarily convinced that it was all me at times and that I'm paranoid and a bad person for starting trouble
There's that saying 'honesty is the best policy'. BS. I've been conditioned to an unhealthy avoidance. Most NT's love their subtle passive aggression so when you try to address something they can make you look crazy.

It depends on the severity of it most the time I just shut down for days othertimes I lock myself away from everyone for months at a time and become a http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hikikomori .

I ask myself what did I do wrong to upset them in anyway to not like me? I get very upset because I do have a habit of going out of my way to please people all the time and I do what they tell me to do, to be accepted is another thing as well. I sit for days on end figuring out what I did wrong whether I said something that was inappropriate, did I where the wrong clothes, did I act weird, did I not express the right emotion for the right situation then I get angrey and frustrated at myself for stuffing up even though I have no idea why that person just doesn't like me I always blame myself my phycologist is teaching me to stop blaming myself and that people are just that way and that it isn't me but the person who has the issue with me. I trying to accept that but I still feel its my fault even though its not.

There must be a better way of coping with this other than avoiding them completely. Maybe its a simple misunderstanding the person don't understand how upset you are about it.

People don't like people in general, whether your NT or Aspergers. I hear lots of bitching about other people behind other peoples backs, the only thing different is that a person with Aspergers will say it to your face. That's what makes a person with Aspergers unpopular. People in general prefer to work with people who are personable and not focused on rules and regulations. I'm rules and principals driven, it gets me trouble but I'll stick to them regardless. f**k people who don't like you, there will always be them. If a person can sense that you're trying to please them they definitely won't like you as it is seen as meek and timid.