What do you do when you think people dislike you?
Exactly. It's better to be the victim of evil than the culprit. I think the Count of Monte Cristo summed up the downside of getting your satisfaction from a duel pretty well.
'"-he has rendered the whole life of one who had the right to expect from heaven that portion of happiness God has promised to every one of his creatures, an existence of misery and infamy; and you think you are avenged because you sent a ball through the head, or pass a sword through the breast, of a man who has planted madness in your brain, and despair in your heart. And remember, moreover, that it is often he who comes off victorious from the strife, absolved of all crime in the eyes of the world. No, no," continued the count; "had I to avenge myself it is not thus I would take revenge"'
Yeah I read or heard somewhere that sociologists eavesdropped on public transport and as much as two thirds of normal people's conversation consists of idle gossip and rumour. Two #@$%&*~ thirds! And then they all pretend to get along and like each other. What can people like us do in the face of that but lower our expectations and learn to put up with it? We don't have a chance. People are lucky if I talk at all. I can't imagine where NT's get this insatiable need to mill about clucking about each other like little idiot chickens.
I get "sick," again and again, go through a checklist of symptoms, and realize that my body is only having an anxiety attack.
No matter how hard I try, nothing I do will thrive, if it is done in honor of people who upset me.
I find peace, only when I decide that I am doing something for purely selfish motives. I have focus, and I succeed.
Only then, do these bastards like me.
Like the Onceler on the Lorax. Yes, I know that will-to-power is not the moral of the story. I would like to find such a thing as altruism but experience the more mechanical side of people.
I have successfully guessed the next 4 or 5 things someone was going to do, in perfect sequence -- like a tactician.
But, it took my much longer to realize that I was not at all reasoning with them.
Only with great struggle, was I able to conclude that I didn't really like them.
I remember a part of Star Trek, Generations, when Data figures out that he hates a drink.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keOU2iF626k
I felt that the air was cleared, so was able to go on with my life, as though it required some revelation on my part to successfully ignore them.
I read this, and feel that I was missing something simple. But, it took a really long time.
What wacky things have you done when you perceived that a person (or group of people) dislikes you?
I'm personally very avoidant. I avoid, disappear, do all kinds of things to avoid the horrible anxiety of being disliked.
Sometimes I feel ignored too. One time someone ignored me completely for a reason I couldn't understand (I'd always been cordial).....of course they have a right to ignore me, but it was upsetting nonetheless. So I decided to wear this outrageous wig one day just to get their attention. The person did say, "Hey, cool wig!" after ignoring me for days, so I felt at peace with that person.... From then on, I decided to avoid the person completely and the place the person frequents. (This was to avoid any future scenarios of feeling rejected/ignored)
Have any of you done anything similar, or just acted strangely due to a feeling of being unloved/unwanted/rejected/ignored?
Usually, I have a strong urge to withdraw when people are starting to distance themselves, because my anxiety does cause me to behave strangely and I don't want people further put off by that
I avoid them, ignore them and try not to bother them or with them. Some people just dislike me and I am totally okay with it.
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