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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 15

22 Dec 2006, 5:22 am

I've recentely joined WP and have just recentely discovered that I have aspergers. I've many questions about matters but I've no idea who to ask them of. Finally I decided that it would be best to ask others like myself and see what they thought. So I hope you can help me.

To start with, I've been friends with a girl for around six months now. When we first became friends she told me that she had aspergers syndrome and asked if I had changed my opinion of her after knowing it, to which I replied no and that it doesn't bother me. Then, months later, I myself was diagnosed with apergers syndrome. Seeing as I know that she has it, it would be right if I were to tell her I had it too wouldn't it? But if I am to tell her how should I do it and when?

I always like to plan ahead with things but I cannot think of what would happen if I were to tell her and what would happen if I were not to tell her or maybe tell her at a later date. If someone could help answer these questions for me it would be greatly appreciated.

Unfortunetely, although we are good friends, I have said some hurtful things in the past; not about her or anything to do with aspergers but about other matters I had absolutely no idea she liked. I'd rather not go into it as it took a bit to smooth things up but does anyone know of anything I can do to help make up for my wrongdoings?

Thanks for reading, it's greatly appreciated, and I hope that you can help answer some of my questions.


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Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,471
Location: Village of the Damned

22 Dec 2006, 9:18 am

She was honest with you about her AS and I dont see why you wouldnt want her to know....just tell her.She has probably already noticed that you have a lot of traits.I think it is common for people with As traits to be attracted to each other.I was only recently DXed but I can think of several relationships I have had with people who were probably on the spectrum.Perhaps if we had known about it,we would have been more pacient with each other and the relationship would have survived the difficult times.I am actually surprised that you didnt let her know that you were going in for a DX.

Welcome to the planet,by the way.

Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesn't mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang

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Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,935
Location: Newberg, OR

22 Dec 2006, 1:23 pm

all I can say is go for it.


Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 56,982
Location: Portland, Oregon

22 Dec 2006, 5:04 pm

Go for it. If she is being honest with you over her AS then you will tell her eventually that you have AS as well.

Sea Gull
Sea Gull

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Joined: 18 Jun 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 233
Location: England

22 Dec 2006, 6:48 pm

Along the lines of what krex said, she probably already noticed your ASD traits and that's why she chose to befriend you. The fact that she told you about her dx leaves her quite vulnerable (you know something very personal about her) .

Tell her that you've been diagnosed. If you tell her ASAP, you won't be thinking about all the different ways she could react or the way you would tell her. You sound a lot like me, you like to plan things and not like surprises, well if you tell here soon in a private and relaxed place, you wont have to worry about this issue anymore.

Chances are you two will be able to talk about things a lot more openly from then on.