Do higher functioning aspies have it worse in some ways?

Post Reply New Topic

"Contrary to popular assumption, people diagnosed with so-called mild forms of autism don’t fare any better in life than those with severe forms of the disorder." http://sfari.org/news-and-opinion/news/ ... -as-adults. This study was of PDD-NOS (which I have) with normal-high IQ and which is a broad dumping ground that includes many who are similar to aspies (but don't stim, for example), as well as some HFA.

There is another guy with Asperger's Syndrome in my class. But he dresses odd, doesn't have my fake NT mannerisms, has the emaciated look, and just overall seems lower functioning. But there are a couple girls in my class who are always around him, helping him out.

But me? I think most people just think I am a normal guy who's an uncaring/aloof as*hole. Definitely "normal" enough but not anyone they personally would like to spend much time around

EDIT: I DON'T mean high vs. low in the medical sense. Low functioning autistics really do have it bad. Rather, I mean variations within what is technically the high-medium range. For example, an aspie/PDD-NOS who clearly has something wrong with her, dresses funny, and has the understanding of a child vs. someone who seems like a normal guy/gal on the outside--and not anyone who needs help-- but who is, to a large degree, shut out due to subtle/invisible factors.

Probably based on what you described. The more obvious your disability is, the easier it is in ways because then people are more patient with you and don't expect as much out of you.

Generally speaking, I think people have a certain expectations of how people with autism behave and what they can do - so I know that when people see my son talking, communicating, playing, and overall, functioning mostly, the way their children do, then they become skeptical. It can be pretty frustrating...

The more you already fit in, the more you're expected to fit in more. If you don't fit in, your behavior is seen as wierd and creepy and people will avoid you unless it's severe enough that you break the "tard barrier" and then they're nice to you.

To me the hardest part is people not believing you have a disability. To the few people I told about my condition (including my family doctor), most didn't say anything at all. Some still tell me to just relax and go socialize more. Maybe it's just their stock phrase.

I think inside I have rather high expectations for myself, too. I've been putting up the normal facade for so long, it's hard to admit that normal everyday things can be very hard for me. It's only in the last year or so I started to accept myself more, instead of beating myself up for not being as useful as others.

Sometimes I seriously doubt it's just aspies who have trouble with empathy. I hardly know anybody who seem to understand (or be willing to understand) those who are different than themselves. Empathy is something you have for people who are similar to yourself, which is expanded version of self love.

We're trying to come "out". I have mentioned some of the challenges of living with autism for the 3 of us in our Christmas newsletter this year. So that means everyone on our christmas cards list would know, if they bother to read it. DH also told some people at work. I'm betting that nobody will ever say anything about it.

We don't know any low functioning people to know the difference, though. My kids look pretty "obvious" but they still count as high functioning.

It only depends from the fact that people will help you less if you have a milder form. But no, mild AS id not worse than medium or severe AS. I wish I could have a milder form and look more "normal".

I am not sure whether not caring about having a relationship or many friendships is better or worse for me than wanting them and not being able to have them. I am not sure I actually care whether it's better or worse.

However, distress always sucks - I don't want to deny that. Even if your problems are mild, they're still real.

Having too much self-awareness can cause problems for a HFA Aspie too. I'm high-functioning and can appear ''normal'' to others, and that's good in some ways. But sometimes I can feel a little odd, what can confuse other people, and sometimes people look at me like they're trying to figure something out. They see an ordinary-looking person coming towards them and see no differences to be ''afraid'' of, but suddenly something about the vibe I give off kind of makes them think ''wait....something's not right about that girl. I can't quite put my finger on it.'' That causes social phobia, social anxiety, and Agoraphobia for me, because I am sensitive to ridicule, I can read body language fine so it's not like I'm oblivious to other people's thoughts and feelings, so therefore I become more affected by being a little odd, just like how an NT person would feel if they were put in that situation.

I love the way I explained that!

in some ways, definitely.

Because the symptoms in higher functioning people are so much more subtle, the autism is harder to identify and the chances of early diagnosis and intervention are far far less.

I'm in my early 30's and wasnt DX'd until this year.

Definitely the more able a person on the autistic spectrum is the more likely he or she will be taken for granted. This is an issue which is a direct cause of anxiety in people on the autism spectrum and why some hate allistic people and those that have an IQ of below 70. The unfair expectations are specifically designed by allistic people to play one group of against the other. If you are on the more mild end of the spectrum allistics do become the useless eater he or she will try to take advantage and if you do not let him or her then verbal abuse results and you have no one helping you.