Rejection is the worst!

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I wasn't sure whether I should post this to L&D or The Haven. Anyways I normally try not to post complainy type posts but I just feel kind of frustrated and wanted to get it off my chest. Kind of funny that I feel more comfortable talking about it to a bunch of strangers on the internet rather than most people I know personally lol!

Anyways I had recently been talking to and seeing a woman who was, in many respects, just like me. Our interests, goals in life, viewpoints, and even personalities were all incredibly similar, certainly more so than just about anyone I have ever met before. I have a pretty eclectic range of interests, and finding someone who shares just one in common is pretty rare, much less all of them! We only went out on two dates, but we had been talking to each other pretty frequently for about 2 months in the meantime. We just both had such busy lives that it was difficult to schedule the time to get together.

After our second date though, I got the following message from her afterwards: "You are one of the nicest and most thoughtful guys I've ever met, but I just don't feel like the attraction's there". I'll admit, I never really bought in to all of that "nice guy's finish last" nonsense but this made me question whether or not it has some credibility. I never considered myself unattractive whatsoever but it did make me question as to whether or not that may be a part of my dating issues. I mean, I work out 5 days a week so that's got to count for something!

I guess the main reason I feel so frustrated is just because it's so rare for me to meet anyone who really has much in common with me, particularly in the area I live in (I live in a backwoods area and most women here are in to things like hunting/mud riding/nascar). Plus I'm moving in 5 months, so this was kind of my last ditch dating effort before I move...I don't think it would be wise to look for a relationship now when I may be (and honestly hope to be) halfway across the country soon. I hate the waiting though...I'm 27 and still haven't had a proper relationship, and at this age, it doesn't feel like I have the time to waste anymore if I ever want a hope of getting married and starting a family.

Aaaaah, the old "I'll just text a message because I don't want to face him" dump. Don't those suck?

It's funny that people think that's better than just disappearing, but you know I've had women just vanish on me, and that's somehow easier to take. Probably because I never really knew the real reason. When you get the message, there's no doubt at all.

Best way I've ever found to deal with it is to tell myself, "Good. Better to know now than waste time with something that wasn't going to work out anyway."

NEXT!!

I'm 25, never had a gf, never had a kiss, never had a f**k.

Do I care about it? No

Do I give a s**t about some random girl rejecting me? No

Even after 100 rejections and no date? No

Would I make threads on L&D bragging about how undesirable I am? No

Why? Because I don't give a s**t.

Am I working on my looks? Yup, I exercise everyday not to make myself look better, but to make myself FEEL better and give myself more energy so I can handle my job better and feel more confident.

Just be happy with yourself and cut yourself off of those people who hurt you, even if you look like total s**t.

Gawd I hate those messages... "You're a wonderful man but I need to be overwhelmed with passion and chemistry..." GACK!

Such a ridiculous requirement so many gals expect... and why jerks get so much undeserved attention - many of them manage to incite those feelings in women. They'll treat her like crap but boy does she get that rush of passion and emotion...

THIS! a million times this! and they accuse us of only thinking with our dicks... pot calling the kettle black anyone? I don't need to feel passion and chemistry. that can grow later as I get closer to someone. (it has in the past) but finding someone that is willing to even get to know you long enough for that is almost impossible to find.

I'm sure someone will come running along soon to call me an idiot for thinking this way.

No. I won't call you an idiot, but do watch the sexist tone. I'm a guy, and I don't like it. Oh. And I am a moderator to, so let's not let this thread go down "that" road.

Them using the word "nice" always means they aren't interested so it seems. I think I'd be happier if they just told me straight up that they weren't interested in me instead of trying to sugar coat it and say, I'm kind and sweet.

I have to kinda agree with Max and Betzalel, unfortunately. I hate to agree with them about that. But it's my experience every single time to a "T."

My last three OKcupid dates were exactly the same... one was willing to be forthcoming about it... she wanted me to just GRAB her with firey passion and TAKE her.

Seriously.

You want passion, you'll get passion - AFTER I'm certain I won't be charged with rape for doing so!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4hNaFkbZYU[/youtube]

Lol that video cracked me up!

Rejected

This is one of my oldest songs (1982) that I still perform sometimes. There is a link after the title on this lyrics page to an optional free mp3 download from a live performance by R Band at Travis Air Force Base in 1995. Check out the wah wah lead!

I dont think its "THE worst". but it is pretty damn bad

I think a quick rejection is better than being messed around with. I had been in love with someone for years then having them tell me they have feelings for me and adore me for two months with constant texting (no meetups just excuses). Then going from that to just simply one day - NOTHING. Always me running after her and she being evasive and only giving meoccasional attention just to keep me on some kind of "string". Even though your situation was sh***y. I wish I had that. I not only lost a love interest but I lost what I thought was a great friend. Cause I will never let somebody treat me like that and call me a friend. Wanna change places maybe

I had the exact same thing happen as what you described, One-Percent. Right down to the time frame (2 months). It is the worst feeling ever, especially since this girl seemed to be interested in me. Before that she was a pretty awesome friend, but now there's nothing there.