it is becoming too much. all of the stress and i dont even 'feel' it emotionally. but my body is shutting down again. my lymph node is swollen, ive got a sinus infection, im dissociating. this is the course, im familiar with it. its almost like i have to treat myself like someone would treat an arm with no feeling. they would protect it from things that could cause the arm harm such as sharp objects and flame, even though the arm would feel no pain.
i need to understand, day-to-day, that stress will harm me, even though i wont 'feel' a thing. if i dont do this, the shutdown will come again. the logic is in place. ive no instinctual motivation to spur me on. any good thoughts you could have for me would be appreciated. i am concerned for myself. god help me.