shutting down (pray for me)

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it is becoming too much. all of the stress and i dont even 'feel' it emotionally. but my body is shutting down again. my lymph node is swollen, ive got a sinus infection, im dissociating. this is the course, im familiar with it. its almost like i have to treat myself like someone would treat an arm with no feeling. they would protect it from things that could cause the arm harm such as sharp objects and flame, even though the arm would feel no pain.

i need to understand, day-to-day, that stress will harm me, even though i wont 'feel' a thing. if i dont do this, the shutdown will come again. the logic is in place. ive no instinctual motivation to spur me on. any good thoughts you could have for me would be appreciated. i am concerned for myself. god help me.

i'm praying for you.

I'm also praying for you.

I am too!

I will pray for you.
I will hold you in my thoughts
I will send you loving kindness.
It will pass, this wave of
suffering will pass.
Tomorrow I will be in Norwich,
often I visit Mother Julian's cell
within the church.......so I will
light a candle there for you.

^^ Awww, that's sweet.

I'm not sure if I've ever felt exactly like you do...but I know how feeling numb feels. It's like not being able to feel happy or sad, and yet I can't do a thing, and can hardly move...and I've come to a halt.

I hope you get better soon.

I will too