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soulburner
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14 Dec 2012, 3:36 am

do any of you live on your own by yourself? if so, how does it feel and do you enjoy it?



League_Girl
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14 Dec 2012, 3:51 am

I lived on my own for a year and a half and it was fun and I came home to my own messes and no surprises and it was less housework to do. I would also go down to my parents house a lot to have dinner with them or use the computer while I be visiting. When I didn't have water for a week, I would go down to their place and shower or go to my grandparents and do it. I also didn't have a working washing machine so I had my clothes washed at my parents house or grandparents.


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redrobin62
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14 Dec 2012, 4:02 am

Been on my long for as long as I can remember. I wasn't always domiciled, though. :(



Threore
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14 Dec 2012, 4:54 am

I've been living on my own for roughly nine months now, if "on my own" includes having one room completely to myself and sharing the kitchen/bathroom with other people. Thanks to the nice people I share those with and having moved with me my bed and other important stuff from my parents' houses I've always felt at home here.
I'm always behind on chores though:
- my room is a mess all the time because I need everything in my room to have a specific spot where I can store it and I don't have enough storage space in my room, nor the courage to go to a shop to buy one.
- I haven't vacuumed my room in months because I hate the sound of vacuuming
- I tend to run out of everything because I postpone getting them until I've run out of them and really need them.
It's great to be able to completely live on my own schedule, to be isolated whenever I want to and only have to talk to people when I feel like it.



eric76
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14 Dec 2012, 5:18 am

I have the old five bedroom farmhouse where I grew up all to myself.



SplinterStar
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14 Dec 2012, 6:54 am

Been on my own for years now. Its the best thing I ever did, but a little bit lonely if I don't actively seek companions. Also had to the accept the reality of cleaning up on a daily basis and cooking food that isn't from a box pre-cooked/frozen. Those lessons were especially hard.



morslilleole
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14 Dec 2012, 1:11 pm

I have been living on my own for four years now. I enjoy most of it, but I can't seem to find the energy to clean after I'm finished making food after getting home from work. So I end up having the dishes pile up until the weekend. Oh well, it's better than sharing a place to live. At least for me it is.



Projectile
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14 Dec 2012, 7:13 pm

I first lived alone when I was very young and struggled a great deal.. Over the years I have had to move a lot from one flatting situation to another because of various difficulties that are all too common among Aspies.

The things I have found hard are keeping steady income and paying the bills, not getting thrown out, affording food.. then there are the problems getting along with random housemates that dont understand you..

I would get very lonely at times too, even whilst flating with friends. .

Recently I moved into a "commune" i thought they would all be hippys but there are all sorts of cool people here and it feels more natural to me to be here.. there are people with other disabilities here, people who have struggled to fit in etc. and a real sense of community.. when i need to hide away in my room that is also possible.. Would recommend this sort of lifestyle to other Aspies.


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soulburner
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14 Dec 2012, 7:30 pm

does the community you live in consists of just hippies or other kinds of people?



Louise88
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14 Dec 2012, 8:03 pm

I live in a shared house with two other girls. The rent in my area would make living alone quite unaffordable. It works well as we mostly do our own thing, follow a cleaning rota and spend time together watching TV when we feel like it.



Nambo
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14 Dec 2012, 9:02 pm

Apart from one year when I rented a room out to a friend, Ive been living on my own now for 34 years, nearly 35 in fact.

In order to punish myself, I don't commit suicide.



lynn7465
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14 Dec 2012, 11:22 pm

Ie lived on my own for many years and have become used to it, however no problems when I stay with family friends, I guess they are used to me
I have the usual aspergers problems with making friends and forming social attachments, I live now in a house by myself, occasionally lonely but usually happy enough



Sunny55
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15 Dec 2012, 6:01 am

I live alone and find it very lonely. I do go out but coming home to noone is hard. For years I thought I couldn't have AS becuase I held the stereotypical image of people with AS as not wanting relationships. Then I met someone with AS and he was very lonely being single. And when I got my diagnosis I was told that although many people with AS do manage alone, that the fact I hate being so alone didnt mean I don't have AS. I have no family, and think that if I did have family then being single would not be as lonely as it is for me.



lonelyguy
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15 Dec 2012, 6:42 am

Sunny55 wrote:
I live alone and find it very lonely. I do go out but coming home to noone is hard. For years I thought I couldn't have AS becuase I held the stereotypical image of people with AS as not wanting relationships. Then I met someone with AS and he was very lonely being single. And when I got my diagnosis I was told that although many people with AS do manage alone, that the fact I hate being so alone didnt mean I don't have AS. I have no family, and think that if I did have family then being single would not be as lonely as it is for me.



I am just like you sunny..although i like living on my own ..i hate being lonley
I have social interaction problems.so no friends to speak to and i must admit i get very lonley on my own..i hope that one day i can meet and find a nice person to take away this sad and lonely life that i hate..all thanks to this AS so understand where you are coming from.



CharlesMonster
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15 Dec 2012, 7:00 am

I don't live alone, but I feel alone, it's just the nature of being unique.

Although we have the same disability, we are very much individuals, and don't fit into any boxes.

NT's can be categorised into types.

So even when living with someone, I still feel very much alone.



whirlingmind
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15 Dec 2012, 7:05 am

soulburner wrote:
do any of you live on your own by yourself? if so, how does it feel and do you enjoy it?


I don't now but I did for a long period in the past, first in bedsits and then I had a proper flat. I literally spent a lot of time alone, the only 'socialising' (if you can call it that) I had was at work.

It gave me too much time to think, I felt like I was alone in the world cooped up. I liked having control of my own space, but I felt lonely. It was shared houses and there were problems with other residents stealing my (named) items from the fridge in the shared kitchen, not having access to the bathroom when I wanted to and the poor hygiene of the bathroom too. I ended up getting a mini fridge in my room just to be able to prevent theft. There was loud music above me from the students in their room which I hated. Also, to my horror, one day when I was off sick in bed, someone from the rental agency put their key in the lock and started to enter my room, to "check the premises". I found later this was illegal, to enter without my knowledge but I was clueless then, and I realised that they had been doing this whilst I was at work, unknown to me, it made me feel violated. Not expecting anyone would be in my home I would have left all sorts of personal items around.

I also had many moments of panic when I was in the grip of my thanatophobia and had no-one to ground me and help me come out of the panic. When I was ill, there was no-one to look after me. Not nice if you have a vomiting bug and you have to clean up whilst you are so ill. You need to be responsible for paying your rent, any separate bills, your food etc.

At weekends, if I didn't go out I felt almost agoraphobic when I finally did go out. It's a conundrum, because I don't like having people visit (I want to be in control and be the one to leave when I've had enough) but I don't like feeling so alone that it's like a tomb. It can be very isolating and difficult if you don't make the effort to go out and make contact with others.

Think it through before you do it, work out what will be the best for you, e.g. house sharing or whatever so that you aren't totally alone. Be aware of the pitfalls of sharing too though.


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