Would you critique my OKCupid?

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Brianruns10
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20 Dec 2012, 11:59 pm

As I've mentioned elsewhere, I'm trying OKCupid...again. It's like my forth time, and each time hopefully I refine my profile a little bit more.

So far I've written 32 messages. I don't go for cut and pasting. Each message is personalized and given thought and consideration, so needless to say I spend a lot of time at this.

As of now, four individuals have responded. One, as noted in another infamous thread, wrote a negative response, saying we had nothing in common and there was no chance of us connecting. The other three were more positive, but of them, two never have replied to my replies. The sole remaining has responded to me twice, but now it's been a while since she's replied again.

So I don't know. I know 4 replies out of 32 is a pretty good success rate for this sort of thing, but nothing seems to be clicking. They seem to lose interest. I don't know. Maybe it's something in my profile. Who knows. I think it's pretty good, and I think I do a good job of showing I AM WORTHY of someone's love and affection. I hope so. I hope this can work. I thought I'd have someone by now, by this Christmas, but no. So now, 2013 is coming, and I vow to start working on several REALLY GREAT films that will help make my name, and FINALLY find THE ONE. I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN.

So until I do, any advice on how to make my profile better, to better show people I'm a worthy person, I'd really appreciate it.

PROFILE: OKCupid Profile



Stargazer43
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21 Dec 2012, 12:15 am

I personally think your profile looks fine. My only suggestion would be to put up pictures that show your face with more clarity. It's really difficult to discern what you look like from your main photo, and your others don't really show your face all that clearly (I think they're all fine to keep on there, you just need 1-2 additional really good and clear photos). I'd say that's probably the main thing that could be holding you back, they see your main picture and can't really judge your appearance very well, so just click "next!"

My only other suggestion would be to use more common language in a few parts (see: "carnivore unrepentant"). I personally like that style of writing, but it will only really be appreciated by the more intellectual crowd...the rest may see it as "snobby" (trust me I know from experience lol). Maybe highlight your running a bit more in your profile too...being in good shape is a huge plus, so accentuate it!



Brianruns10
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21 Dec 2012, 12:21 am

Sure, I'll make those chances.

I'm worried they won't like my face. I don't feel I'm attractive or that it is conveyed in photos. I feel ugly, and hate seeing my face in pictures. So the other problem is I don't have many photos of myself....only a handful on Facebook taken by others. I guess I sort of hope my credentials and my description will be enough to convince someone to just give me a chance, and not judge me by my perceived ugliness. If they'd just meet me in person, and give me a chance to talk and show I'm a person who is worthy....but I guess that's silly logic. I just feel so ugly though, and I'm afraid that's what others will think.



ruckus
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21 Dec 2012, 12:37 am

Unfortunately, even if you write really good messages and seemingly have a lot in common with the women you send them to, there's still no guarantee they'll respond, even if you're doing everything "right". I recommend taking a more relaxed approach, and don't take it too personally if they don't respond. Most people treat this online dating thing pretty casually and can be taken aback by people who send long, verbose messages. I see nothing wrong with your profile itself, you sound like an interesting guy.

Though as others mentioned, getting some clearer pictures is a good idea. There's no point in worrying about your looks, because they're going to find out sooner or later if you meet them in person. Do you have a camera with a timer, a webcam, or friends you feel comfortable asking to take some pictures of you?



Stargazer43
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21 Dec 2012, 12:40 am

Well since I'm a guy I can't offer a ton of input on your appearance, but I can assure you based on your pictures that you aren't ugly. I actually have a friend who looks a lot like you, and he is never starved from attention from the ladies lol. Keep in mind that oftentimes we're our own hardest critics ;).

I also have trouble with pictures, because I am terrible at smiling for the camera, so I always have a really goofy or unattractive expression on my face in most pictures lol. Either I look like I'm completely bored/unhappy by not smiling, or I look like a crazy person by smiling too much or in a weird way. I've managed to take a couple really good ones though, mostly when I was unaware of the camera!



MXH
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21 Dec 2012, 12:41 am

Profile is nice, but needs more clear pics of you. It is a physical world after all.



ruckus
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21 Dec 2012, 12:49 am

Oh, and don't take this the wrong way (and feel free to ignore if you want), but you might want to try wearing your pants a little lower. They're almost unnervingly high in some of those pictures, like how an old man would wear his pants, which could be putting some women off.



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21 Dec 2012, 12:54 am

Okay, right off the bat, even though you don't want kids, I'd highly recommend you remove or rewrite that as some form of indifference; even though you may truly not be interested in having children, that's an enormous turn off for a primary genetic motivator in almost all women. I think by displaying that opinion up front, you're reducing your odds of success substantially. If the topic comes up once you actually have a date, then you can profess your preferences openly but until then, I think the honesty will do more harm than good. The same applies to disliking cats. I know women who immediately detest any man who 'dislikes' any animal...they don't want you to be some 'nature boy' but they feel like, if you can find it in your heart to hate an animal, any animal, you're lacking in compassion. Just looking through your profile, I think you've got the most important bits right; you're successful, fit, have a good income, intelligent, not an alcoholic, smoker or drug addict and many other very desirable things, you just need to appear more open. Also, feel free to disregard everything I say, because I have no experience with OkCupid, ha! Best of luck and I hope you find a gal!


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wtfid2
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21 Dec 2012, 1:10 am

Time for brutal honesty....the reason girls wont give you the time of day is for one reason..THE PICS.
Firstly- you can barely see what you look like...
Secondly from what you can see, you are quite unattractive(im being honest here) You have a creepy nerdy appearance to you...and look pretty weak.

Now I'm not saying you are unworthy of a gf or that you are the ugliest man in the world...but with online dating even the horse ugly girls are picky. If you are determined to make this happen you need to do more real world approaches.

btw how are you only making 25k with master;s?
I also would put you are undecided about kids, and put you drink socially or rarely atleast.


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wtfid2
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21 Dec 2012, 1:12 am

ruckus wrote:
Oh, and don't take this the wrong way (and feel free to ignore if you want), but you might want to try wearing your pants a little lower. They're almost unnervingly high in some of those pictures, like how an old man would wear his pants, which could be putting some women off.
lmao


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spongy
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21 Dec 2012, 1:15 am

Couple of things:

1 I noticed no jokes/almost no jokes.
Most people put up jokes on their profiles because its the easiest way to catch someone´s attention(you are going through a profile then you start laughing, hey this person has a similar sort of humor, it may work out, imma send them a message)

2 Im sorry but it looks more like a resume than a dating profile to me.
Im sure some woman could appreciate your achievements but maybe you can post pone going into them for actual dates?. It just seems like you are trying too hard to impress the other person with your achievements to me.
We get almost no personal info. Dating profiles are supposed to have plenty of personal info and maybe a little about your work, not the other way around.

3 Update picture as pointed out in first post. No need for a profesional looking picture, just you in your apartment or something would work as long as its a clear shot of you



ruckus
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21 Dec 2012, 1:19 am

wtfid2 wrote:
Time for brutal honesty....the reason girls wont give you the time of day is for one reason..THE PICS.
Firstly- you can barely see what you look like...
Secondly from what you can see, you are quite unattractive(im being honest here) You have a creepy nerdy appearance to you...and look pretty weak.

Now I'm not saying you are unworthy of a gf or that you are the ugliest man in the world...but with online dating even the horse ugly girls are picky. If you are determined to make this happen you need to do more real world approaches.

As a woman, I don't think he's unattractive, but in my opinion his dress sense is pretty outdated (the pants in particular) and that could be a deal breaker for some.



Last edited by ruckus on 21 Dec 2012, 1:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

curlyfry
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21 Dec 2012, 1:22 am

Answer more questions. At least 300. Your profile is interesting but the lack of questions answered is too much in contrast to the care you've taken in writing your profile. It took me over a year of filtering my questions down before I started finding closer matches and then my current partner.



cakey
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21 Dec 2012, 1:40 am

I think his profile is fine and I like his introduction about himself. I myself am into nerdy guys and think he looks good& attractive. But that is if that's the look he's going for.



redrobin62
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21 Dec 2012, 1:54 am

Amy Farrah Fowler from Big Bang Theory would definitely fall for you.



BlueMax
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21 Dec 2012, 2:01 am

I never knew which picture was one of YOU, as each one had more than one person! Only by eventually finding the same person in each picture did I finally realize it was the guy in big glasses. At least clarify with the wording below?

You also describe yourself as "athletic". You look lean, not muscular in those pics.

...but it looks like you lead an interesting and successful life! That should be good...