Should inter-generational relationships be promoted?

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Should inter-generational relationships be promoted?
Yowza! 5%  5%  [ 1 ]
Only if the younger party is post-pubertal 5%  5%  [ 1 ]
Only if the younger party has attained the legal age of consent 36%  36%  [ 8 ]
Only if neither party has formal authority over the other 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Only if they are no more than 10 years apart 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Only if there is no sexual contact 9%  9%  [ 2 ]
Some combination of the above limitations (please specify) 14%  14%  [ 3 ]
No way José! 18%  18%  [ 4 ]
Other (please elaborate) 5%  5%  [ 1 ]
Just show the results 9%  9%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 22

ArrantPariah
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30 Dec 2012, 3:15 pm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pederasty

Quote:
Homosexual pederasty has been deemed beneficial by ancient philosophers, Japanese samurai, and modern writers such as Oscar Wilde. In many societies, it was justified on the grounds that love was the best foundation for teaching courage as well as civic and cultural values, and that man–boy relations were superior to relations with a woman....

In antiquity, pederasty was seen as an educational institution for the inculcation of moral and cultural values, as well as a form of sexual expression, entered history from the Archaic period onwards in Ancient Greece, though Cretan ritual objects reflecting an already formalized practice date to the late Minoan civilization, around 1650 BC. According to Plato,in ancient Greece, pederasty was a relationship and bond – whether sexual or chaste – between an adolescent boy and an adult man outside of his immediate family. While most Greek men engaged in relations with both women and boys, exceptions to the rule were known, some avoiding relations with women, and others rejecting relations with boys...

Plato was an early critic of sexual intercourse in pederastic relationships, proposing that men's love of boys avoid all carnal expression and instead progress from admiration of the lover's specific virtues to love of virtue itself in abstract form. While copulation with boys was often criticized and seen as shameful and brutish, other aspects of the relationship were considered beneficial, as indicated in proverbs such as A lover is the best friend a boy will ever have. The pederastic relationship had to be approved by the boy's father. Boys entered into such relationships in their teens, around the same age that Greek girls were given in marriage. The mentor was expected to teach the young man or to see to his education, and to give him certain appropriate ceremonial gifts....

Pederasty was notable in Moorish Spain, and Tuscany and northern Italy during the Renaissance, and also medieval and Tsarist Russia. Elsewhere, it was practiced in pre-Modern Japan until the Meiji restoration....

Until the 1970s, English "public schools" were walled boarding schools, educating adolescent boys only, with a strong concentration on Greek and Latin classics. They continued to be “hotbeds of pederasty” into the twentieth century. C. S. Lewis when talking about his life at Malvern College, an English public school, acknowledged that pederasty "was the only counterpoise to the social struggle; the one oasis (though green only with weeds and moist only with foetid water) in the burning desert of competitive ambition." Eventually, pederasty was rooted out of British public schools, due to the introduction of female teachers and co-education, which gave boys a heterosexual output, and child abuse was no longer hushed up due to society's concerns with protecting children. Parents had more control over who had responsibility for the children, and men with pederastic tendencies are barred from teaching jobs.


Modern Feminists and others would probably describe such relations--where the older partner is in a position of educational, religious, economic, or other form of institutional authority over the younger partner--as an abuse of power.

Even back in the 1990s, guys like Robert Bly

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP3HWLIL1Aw[/youtube]

used to wax nostalgic about a time when boys would become men through the guidance of a male mentor, which is something that is now largely absent from our culture.

Older women, or "cougars", can also be quite useful in the instruction and guidance of young men.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LE9TVcBe6jI[/youtube]

In fact, Benjamin Franklin advises that a young man seek an older woman for a mistress, and describes many of the advantages over a younger woman:

http://grammar.about.com/od/classicessa ... linmis.htm

Many female high school teachers have offered hands-on sexual education to their male pupils, and it unfortunately often ended badly for the teacher, with her being required to languish in prison for years on end.

And, many older men have chosen much younger wives, for example

Image

Image

Image

Image



One attraction of an old person for a young spouse: if the old person has a pension with survivor benefits that include health insurance: that can make marriage to a senior citizen more attractive, and something that a younger mate wouldn't be able to offer.

There don't seem to be a whole lot of younger men marrying elderly woman, although the supply of available elderly women is clearly there. Katy Couric apparently played the cougar with a much younger man for many years, but they split up.

So, what is your opinion on intergenerational romance/relationships?



The_Walrus
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30 Dec 2012, 4:02 pm

No type of relationship should be encouraged or discouraged, as long as everyone is old enough and consenting.

Also, why do all polls here have a "see results" option when we can just click "view results"?



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30 Dec 2012, 4:04 pm

Well, if it works for them then fine, so long as it's mutual and they're above age of consent. The thought of dating someone old enough to be my mother, however, isn't really all that appealing.

However, if you were to define intergenerational as strictly related to generation (not ones physical age) then my past relationship with Kyuuchan could be considered as such. She's only two years younger than me physically, but she was born when her mother was about 40 or so, and her mother was born late in her grandmother's life. So while she's two years younger than me she's also two generations before me, in other words she's technically a member of my grandmother's generation, and if her age matched her generation she would definitely be old enough to be my mother or grandmother.

Of course, she valued the wisdom and advice of her family growing up, unlike most teenagers, so while physically she's only 20 she has the wisdom and maturity of a 40 year old, while still maintaining the carefree curiosity and sense of wonder of a 10 year old. I swear the girl is a temporal paradox incarnate, but that's partly why I love her so much <3


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30 Dec 2012, 10:26 pm

Would Jesus love an older woman any less than a younger woman?



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30 Dec 2012, 10:40 pm

If everyone is legally adult whatever trips their trigger.

But that picture of Anna Nicole (I think that's who the blonde is) and the geezer is creepy,I can't tell if she's giving him mouth to mouth resuscitation or kissing him.Maybe sucking the life force out of him,a succubus.Yes,I believe that's what's happening,poor ol' feller,never had a chance.



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30 Dec 2012, 10:45 pm

What I don't get is how a person can call another person who is 10 years younger an old fart.



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31 Dec 2012, 7:43 am

Meh. As long as people are old enough to knowingly consent to enter into a romantic and/or sexual relationship with another person, then I say they can do it. I might try to dissuade them from it if I consider the age difference to be too much, or one of them too young, but it's their choice to make.

That's not to say they should be encouraged. Indeed, a preference for much older men among women can quite easily lead to societal problems, due to the corresponding increase in young men who can't find suitable partners - marriage restrains a man's wilder instincts (according to the data), and just look at the countries that have an over-abundance of young men.

As for other inter-generational relationships - seriously, does the OP think the only relationships which matter are romantic/sexual ones? - then I think they should be encouraged, because why not have a dozen grandmothers? :p Or a few friends who can tell you about the Korean war? Or, if you're among the older generations, a friend who can explain today's pop culture?

Why not be one big, (un)happy family?


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31 Dec 2012, 3:46 pm

As pictured above, most men--of any age--are primarily after women in the 18-29 age group. Which makes things difficult for men in the age group. Unless they were willing to go for an older women.

There are plenty of senior women who are out of the dating picture, and who would very much appreciate some affection. You could marry an old wealthy woman, inherit her wealth, and then pursue an interest in the 18-29 age group.



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31 Dec 2012, 4:05 pm

Someone* once said that the ideal age for a woman is half the man's age plus seven years. This means that the youngest ages would be 22 for the man and 18 for the woman, due legalities regarding age of consent.

For a man my age, the ideal woman would be 35 years old. This is the age when most women (it seems) have already been married at least once, and have given birth to at least one child. So a man in his mid-fifties might have to "settle for" raising some other man's kid(s) if he wants to get married at all.






(*The rule existed as early as 1951, when it appeared in the play "The Moon is Blue" by F. Hugh Herbert, and subsequently in the 1953 Otto Preminger film of the play.)


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31 Dec 2012, 5:04 pm

Here are some other "rules" for relationships with a wide age disparity:

Campsite Rule: In relationships with a large age disparity, at the end of the relationship, the elder partner should leave the younger in "better shape than they found them". This includes no diseases, no fertilized eggs, no undue emotional trauma, and whatever education that can be provided.

Pythagorean Rule ("Know Thyself"): Each partner in a relationship should be at peace with who they are, or they will never be content with what they have. You should never rely on your partner to reveal something about you that you should already know.

Occam's Rule: Never assume more about your partner's intentions than what the available evidence will allow. If the relationship is all about sex, then never assume that there is any level of commitment, and vice-versa.

Plato's Rule: Friendship comes first, and should last long after the fires of lust have cooled. Be friendly to - not necessarily a friend of - all of your partner's other friends and relatives. This way, no one will have legitimate cause to speak evil of you.

Tea & Sympathy Rule: In relationships with a large age disparity, should the younger partner speak of the relationship in future years (and he or she inevitably will), the younger partner should speak in kind terms out of respect for the kindnesses delivered by the older person (who may have long since passed away).


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31 Dec 2012, 10:23 pm

Here is the story of one 48 year old woman who finds herself alone and desperate, after having ended her relationship with her paramour who was in his sixties.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... erate.html

Quote:
To my horror, I've discovered even men in their 50s and 60s like John aren't interested in me. I was talking to a silver-haired guy at a party a few weeks ago when I noticed his eyes swivel past me to the leggy blonde sauntering past, who was young enough to be his granddaughter.

...to my dismay - my ex was there. Even worse he was chatting to a young blonde of around 30....


She is obviously going to have to cougar it up and become more aggressive.



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31 Dec 2012, 11:11 pm

Here is a rather vindictive old coot

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfiSD6F6wQo[/youtube]

He makes his point, but definitely goes overboard.

Oh well: Gather Ye Rosebuds While Ye May...



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01 Jan 2013, 11:23 am

Old Hugh Hefner has finally settled down.

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/hugh-hefner-m ... eekly.html

Image

He is 86, and she is 60 years younger.

No wonder women under 30 are so cocky. Men of all ages, shapes and sizes crave them, and the ladies can pick and choose.

Maybe he'll dump her when she turns 30 and the first wrinkles start to appear under her eyes.



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01 Jan 2013, 12:23 pm

There's no fool like an old fool.
If everyone is happy I guess some codgers deserve some bliss in the twilight of their life,they can't take their money with them but they can whoop it up on the way out.Do not go gentle into that good night.D.T.
But to quote Robert Herrick on the same page as that nasty tempered,bitter old fart is just wrong.



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01 Jan 2013, 12:47 pm

ArrantPariah wrote:
Old Hugh Hefner has finally settled down.

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/hugh-hefner-m ... eekly.html

Image

He is 86, and she is 60 years younger.

No wonder women under 30 are so cocky. Men of all ages, shapes and sizes crave them, and the ladies can pick and choose.

Maybe he'll dump her when she turns 30 and the first wrinkles start to appear under her eyes.


I wonder if yon man can still get it up? I suppose he has a decent model to practice on...